Hermes: Concerning our pest problem, somebody's been leaving food around and it's attracting owls, and I for one am getting tired of cleaning those owl traps. Now, as this shocking graph indicates, our water consumption has tripled in the last month. I notice Fry has been here a month, so I'm appointing him head of a commitee to find who's responsible.
Bender: I'm trying to watch my input. I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
Fry: What are the cigars for?
Bender: They make me look cool.
Fry: I can't believe they threw me out like that. I must have been really acting like a jerk.
Bender: Yeah but everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk. (Points at some guy) That's my philosophy.
Fry: Bender, where's your bathroom?
Bender: Bath what?
Fry: Bathroom.
Bender: What room?
Fry: Bathroom!
Bender: What what?
Farnsworth: Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds you say.
Farnsworth: Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted on the same frequency.
Woman: They're on my cell phone too.
Bender: Madam, I believe you're mistaken.
Bender: (on phone) Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!
Bender: Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat ass.
Leela: You really hurt his feelings.
Fry: Don't girl me with that girl stuff. Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have feelings.
Leela: Bender's not a guy, he's a robot.
Fry: Same thing.
Bender: That's right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do!
Fry: Don't do it!
Bender: I don't know what it is yet!
Seen Around the Future
Signs:
Food-o-mat
10 HOME/20 SWEET/30 GOTO 10
Bender passes neon signs saying:
No liquor liscence, Public Library, Bible Study 2Nite, Boring GEOLOGY Lecture, Water Fountain.
Bender's apartment number is 00100100 (36), or a '$' sign on the ascii table.
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