AUGUST 15, 2000: Going off the Depo Provera was the best choice I ever made. I don't think that the pain coming back was the greatest thing, but being on Depo for even just six short months made me realize that things CAN and COULD be worse. After returning to Los Angeles I started seeing the doctor in Glendale again. (the one who didn't beleive I could have adenomyosis) He wanted to try more birth control pills on me again, and I didn't want my boobs to hurt. Plus I was still trying to get the terrible Depo Provera out of my system, I didn't want to subject myself to more hormones that weren't mine originally...so I said NO.
The doctor finally decided that he wanted to do a D&C on me. He thought that this could help my pain level even if I didn't want to go on the Birth Controll Pills again. After a lot of soul searching I decided to go ahead with it; but only if he would do a Laperoscopy at the same time. (You see, this guy didn't beleive I had Adenomyosis.. and I wanted to give him every chance to realize I did.) I come to find out later that even if you give an idiot every chance in the book.. he's still an idiot.
The doctor pushed for a surgery right away. Since I was alone in Los Angeles at the time (My boyfriend being somewhere in South America filming a TV show) My wonderful grandparents came down to help me through the whole process. I wasn't too thrilled about the surgery, but hoped it would be my last one.
The surgery ended up to be at Glendale Memorial Hospital, not Gelndale Adventist like I had hoped. I was glad my grandparents were there for me, but it turned out to be the worst surgery experice ever. Anyone who has had surgery before knows that the first thing they do is put and IV in your arm or hand so that they can administer the anesthesia. I personally don't have any fear of needles because I'm one of those people with small "rolley" veins that are "hard to find"... so this had not been a big deal to me because people poke me all the time and say "oops I thought that was a vein.. can I try the other arm now." Take note that People like me don't give blood!!
What happend is that they tried to stick a IV in my hand without numbing it first and I found the worst pain in the world. I told the guy it hurt really bad and he didn't seem to care. He kept trying.. and couldn't get a vein in my hand. When the doctor and his assistant arrived I was in tears and almost screaming at the idiot. I think they then thought I had a fear of needles and decided not to put an IV in me because I was hysterical. They rolled me into the surgery room and proceeded to put me out with that Laughing Gas stuff... but not like you get at the dentist, It was full strength and the worst thing I've ever been through.
I remember falling asleep with the tast of that gas in my mouth. I thought I was dying because I could hear everything around me for a while, but I had blacked out so I couldn't see anything.. and I didn't think I was able to breathe because all I could taste was that gas. I remember struggling to break free of the gas but the guy holding it over my mouth giving me no choice. That has made me very scared of surgery since then. I get shivers when I even think of it. You can bet that next time I go to the dentist and need that gas.. that I will prefer to deal without the gas.
In the long run the surgery did little good. The D&C maybe helped my pain for 4 months, and the doctor concluded after the laperoscapy that I had a beautiful uerus with no adenomyosis. I left that doctor more confused than the first doctor. Now I was back to step one.. and I was now really beleiving that I didn't have Adenomyosis and I was just a crazy person.
|
