The Accused

The Game's Shoe- Some businessmen think it's important to think outside of the box in order to get ahead of the competition. Sounds like a good theory doesn't it? Well let me tell you, it sounds especially great when you throw The Game into this mix. It sounds boring I know, The Game did a TV commercial for his upcoming album right? Wrong. Apparently the footwear industry has decided that athletes associated with sneakers are no longer capable of attracting young teens and adults in well to do households to their business. Problem: I can't sell footwear. Solution: give The Game his own shoe. That everyone is American capitalism at it's highest point. The grittiness of the commercial shows how The Game would be nowhere near the iconic figure he is today if he didn't have grade A shoes on his hip hoppin feet. As The Game so bluntly points out in his ad "It's not just a shoe......It's my shoe". Really? I never would've guessed. The truth really is hard to swallow. Rating: 9.5 It wouldn't have been as high if he hadn't just finished recording his song with K-Fed


Indian Man and S&M Jacket- Yeah, I go to college, and I run into a lot of interesting people all the time. I've never personally had the fortune of meeting this particular man and it's a damn good thing because from the looks of him I honestly have no idea where he's been. If there's ever been an article of clothing less befitting of a person it would be the jacket that this man wears. Riddled with zippers and made from 100% black leather, this jacket belongs somewhere in the closet of your local neighborhood fetish fiend not on the back of what I imagine is somewhat intelligent man carrying a briefcase. No, the leather briefcase does not have zippers on it. It makes me wanna walk up to this man and ask if he got the matching mask when he bought this monstrosity at the XXX store off the highway. I think earlier I said that he was probably intelligent. Well, I take that back because only a true dumbass would actually think this thing looks cool on anybody much less him. I can understand him wanting to fit in by dressing like other Americans, but the Machine is not the average American. Wipe that arrogant smirk off your face you schuck, your sense of style alone is worthy of deportation. The government may not force you to leave, but at least you'll have the distinction of being on this page. Rating: 6.2- Get a damn clue! Have you no shame?!


Jeffree Star- There's a lot of special people on Myspace but I think Jefree Star may easily be the most special of them all. Just ask yourselves, how many transgendered make up artists who make electronica rap are there on Myspace anyway? Just one, and he sucks. Despite being a rather obscure "artist", Jeffree thinks very highly of himself. Why else after all would he make such a proclamation; "I am the ONLY star of Hollywood that the paparazzi has an emergency speed dial number for simply so that they can band together to fight through MY fans to get my picture." Pardon me, but the paparazzi has never heard of you and half the people posting on your message board hate you dumbass. Oh, wait a minute, I forgot, that's the intention. Jeffree is one of those guys who thinks his sole purpose in life is to piss off the entire world and show to everyone how insecure they are because he is so uniquely stable. The sad fact is this person probably is a teenage underground icon as boasted. But why? For making a techno rap song called "Straight Boys"? Yeah, right. Jeffree has created a following by appealing to a particular group of scenesters who love the classics of rap like "We Want Cunt". With a title like that you can only imagine how deep the song's actual lyrics are. In an age where parents, politicians, sports figures, and civil servants are the scourges of society, Jeffree Star reigns supreme. And yet little do the people that are his fans know that he actually hates them as he apparently hates everybody who doesn't bow in submission to him. I know his reaction would be that I'm insecure and that I hate him because he's beautiful. Sorry Jeffree but all the pink wigs, white powdered make up, eyeliner, and fake stick-on moles won't change my mind. And you were an assistant to Kelly Osbourne to boot? Rating: 10. I think his fans deserve an honorable mention


The Offspring- Remember the days when you were an underclassman in high school listening to the radio and the latest hit track came roaring through the speakers. It started off with the sexual advances of a hispanic woman with an amazingly thick accent followed by the response of a high pitched goofy sounding white boy voice that went "Uh huh! Uh huh!". It was "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" and you thought it was the coolest damn track in all the land. The video with the wigger guy in it was pretty awesome too. Then by the third time you heard the song, it wasn't as funny. By the 18th time you heard it you had had enough already. By the 47th time it was one of the most retarded and regrettable songs ever produced. By the 100th time you had already broken your radio and possibly even gouged your eyes out so you wouldn't have to watch the video again. The Offspring have long been a thorn in the side of people who don't like annoying vocals and middle school lyrics. Their songs all have something in common, the first time around they're tolerable, hell they may even be catchy. As the onslaught on your ears continue you realize that what the Offspring is unleashing on you is so awful its giving you an ulcer. The Offspring may very well be the worst musical act to come out of California since Captain Beefheart. But honestly, were we supposed to expect much from a band led by two guys named Dexter and Noodles? If anybody thinks I'm exaggerating here just listen to the first 30 seconds of Hit That and then get the hell off my case. But instead of taking that risk, just trust me instead. Rating: 8.2- Does it ever end? Not if you listen to mainstream radio.