| So you want my soul? Fine, have my soul for your heart but never for mine because that is how i work these days. Thinking too much of others and never giving enough of myself ...Fine be that way stab me with your plastic spoons and forks digging into flesh year after year with some unknown tangling. You will never understand me. You breath down my neck but your breath is empty, meaningless, unwanted, you think you understand my soul pretend to realize all of its pain all the while grinning like a cat soaked in tuna juice. You have your fun with me run your fingers through my hair the whole while kicking me and spitting in my face. But thats just the way you are unknowing yet knowing too much...do i have to kill you now? Seal red blood and flesh in a glad ziplock bag. Which one has the zipper seal? Come on fuck the world and turn it upside down. Yes and you can fuck that tree pretty boy cause your so cool and funny. They all laugh at you the whole while you think they are laughing with you well you were wrong. Thought you were the whole fucking Earth revolving around the sun, well your not. Oh, and another thing pretty boy not everyone is a fag like you so bend over and shut the fuck up. Ten minutes to heaven a lifetime to hell. Drastic measures for pleasure and now you are nursing a child you poor fool you. Couldn't lay down once more and be safe had to fuck the world cause the world fucked you now you have to pay...Its not fair pretty girl they took your life away when you weren't there. yeah you just crossed your arms and prayed for it to be over but its not. I know it keeps playing like a broken record playing the same tune over and over. Well pretty girl were here to save you now. Take you away from the pain of your life and keep you warm and safe. Wish someone had done that for me. Beaten like an egg in a frying pan scramble them eggs grandma come on and kill me slowly its what you always planned to do. Cook that bacon grandma look at the grease fly. Yeah goodmorning sunshine the moon is so bright out tonight. Watching the stars fall from the sky yeah lets make one final wish lets wish that no one dies tonight lets wish we can have each other for a day. Ah but wishes never come true so i will be without hope. Saved in a world of little regret or care. What do you know about me? i ask. Nothing for i don't even know myself. |
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| I was dancing in the rain the soft sound of the rain hitting the pavement and the way it felt sliding down my body had become all too clear and all too foreign. why does it have to be this way that my heart stands on top of my shirt like a pin saying "rip me out please". beating silent rhythms against my window pane. barely rapping like my heart in me. i pretend, yes i pretend to be the person who stands before you but the truth is im not that person, im not that person at all. the other me lays dormant in my state of mind screaming to be revealed but never is. My feelings have been long shut out never to be seen by another human. I cry inside a waterfall of tears steadily streaming down this endless maze of thoughts. i feel like im traped in a maze of my own mind and i cannot get out. i stumble i fall along the path and blood surrounds me but it is not my own it is of those whose hearts have been destroyed. I begin to swim blood surrounds me and i cannot breath i am choking im drowning. filled by the blood i am an empty vessel of the spirit of the unwanted and of the insane. Struggling to live i hold onto the light that shines ahead of me land ahoy i am home or am i? i have floated to the reaches of a land that is unknown to me only to be pushed out like a wave or current in the wind. floating in the clouds i look below me and there is where the old me lies not the true me but the cover up. the true me is free i float above it all soaring and smiling like i never have before cupids bow and arrow broken medusa turned to stone ....and i sing. sing out in the sky like the siren in the sea. "let them come my way, let them come to me". not looking ahead not looking away i am here broken but happy somehow im coming through the clouds reach out for my hand im here even when i am not. i surround you like the ocean like the air or the wind. you cut through me like a knife through butter red flesh streaming down my body whose curves have long diminished. my breast have become the mountains my stomach the valley my brain has become the sun my mouth the oceans and sea. my breath has become the wind and my hair has become the grass and the trees. this is me i am finally free stolen by nature. I am killed by my peers smothering me in words i do not understand and feelings i can not control. Free me just this once and never let me go. free me and be loved forever. For i am as no one else, no one is as me. I fall into your arms i am free. |
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