That Fiend Saotome!
By W. Brad Robinson (Zorknot)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Ranma1/2. They can do whatever they want and there’s nothing I can do about it.
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Ranma Saotome luxuriated in the warm, midsummer sun as he laid in a lawn chair in the yard behind the Tendo Residence. Nabiki, Kasumi, and Soun were out for awhile so he didn’t feel the need to hide his dark machinations like usual. Akane and the pig-tailed girl fanned him with large feathers as he drank a Margarita with more than the standard level of alcohol in it. Ranma smiled as he thought of how evil he was.
“Is there anything I can do for you master?”
“POPS! I thought I agreed to hire you as my assistant on the sole condition that you continue to belittle me and diminish my self worth!”
“Sorry, uh… I wish I didn’t have such a worthless son!”
“That’s much better. That reminds me though… why haven’t you engaged me to any more girls recently?”
“Well I’ve…been busy.”
“Busy? More like you’ve been playing Shogi with Soun everyday instead of doing your duty!”
“What exactly is my duty again?”
“Engaging me to girls and helping Happosai with the panty raids! Jeez how many times do I have to tell you?”
“But I’m sick of being evil! I just want to see my wife again and settle down!”
“No! We have to make her think that I turn into a girl so she will have to kill me!”
Genma sighed “You’re right of course. I can’t argue with that logic.”
“You bet I’m right. Now, why don’t you play with that stupid pet panda of yours while lay here and enjoy myself.”
“Oh where did I go wrong! My son has no respect for his elders at all!”
“You’re getting better old man…Now GET!” Genma scurried off to the dojo to train his panda. Taking another sip of his margarita, Ranma reflected on how well his plans were progressing. Soon, he would be engaged to every pretty girl in the world, and the power from so much feminine angst would allow him to become a veritable GOD! Only the bokken wielder, Kuno suspected anything, and everyone thought he was an idiot! Oh life is so grand when you’re wicked!
Ranma looked at the two girls fanning him with feathers. <Alright now it’s time for a little fun> “Pigtailed girl!”
“Yes, master” the redhead asked demurely. She would love to be with that handsome man with a stick right now but Ranma’s dark sorcery kept her in his thrall. Ranma smiled, <That Kuno will never have a girlfriend while I’m around! Muahahaha! >
“Tell me you are a man.”
The girl hesitated, then said, “I am a man.”
“No no no no no! Say it like you mean it!”
Sighing, the girl responded “I’m a man dammit!”
Ranma giggled in insane pleasure “Great now, Akane?”
“Yes master?”
“Hit her over the head with a hammer.”
“Master? What hammer?”
“Oh, sorry.” Ranma made a few “warding” gestures and a hammer appeared in Akane’s hands. Akane promptly sent the pigtailed girl into LEO. “Ooooh goodie goodie! Now do me! Do me! And call me an idiot while you’re doing it!”
“Ranma no BAKA! Baka baka baka baka ba…” Ranma writhed in almost sexual ecstasy at the violent beating he was receiving. Life was good.
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Just a thought I had. Hey if the muse hits, share it!
C+C welcome.