Family Honor
Chapter 2: A Mid-April
Night’s Snack
By Zorknot
DISCLAIMER:
Ranma ½ owned by Takahashi Rumiko and the like.
WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:
A different Ranma met the Tendos. A Ranma that has a rather large invisible dog
named Family Honor as his not-quite-imaginary friend. Family Honor threw Akane
in the koi pond after she insulted Ranma, and now she’s into housework and
being feminine and all that. Nabiki’s charged Ranma with curing her and
protecting Akane until she’s cured. Hilarity ensues.
WARNING: There
be WAFF ahead.
~~~~~[BEGIN]~~~~~
Ranma stared
up at the ceiling of the guest room. His father, in panda form, snored beside
him, sleeping soundly. Ranma was often a little envious of his father. Even
before Genma had gotten the panda curse, he had a certain aloofness from
things. Now, it was like he was justified. As for Ranma...a tremendous weight
seemed to be pressing against his chest, making it difficult to
breathe...Finally giving up, Ranma sighed, “Okay, Family Honor, you win. Will
you please get off me now?”
“Bark!” Family
Honor said happily and jumped off Ranma’s chest.
Ranma sat up.
Nabiki was right. He shouldn’t have gotten Akane so angry. Ranma wasn’t quite
sure what he did to make her upset, but if Family Honor was going to be this
insistent on the matter he had no choice but to fix her problem. He got to his
feet and padded out of the room, opening and shutting the door quietly so as
not to wake his father. He walked down the stairs and out of the house. There,
outside, in the koi pond, was what Ranma sought.
The rock
glowed almost imperceptibly, even with Ranma’s sensitive second sight, but it
was there. He walked into the pond and waded to the rock, changing gradually
and gracefully into a girl. So far, Ranma could only change the speed of the
change slightly, but in time, she was sure she’d have complete control. She was
learning so much about the world, having two perspectives to see it from, and
she owed most, if not all, of her most recent techniques to being a girl.
Slowing the curse, her second sight...these were all things she learned from
women she had befriended, and somehow she knew she would not have learned them
if she had been a boy all the time.
Being engaged
was a bit of a problem. Ranma was worried how Family Honor would take her
fondness of her girl form once she got married. Still, she was happy with the
way things had turned out so far. Kasumi wasn’t only pretty; she was a
wonderful person too.
She was also a
little sad and lonely...
Ranma
remembered the disappointment Kasumi had in her eyes...even if Akane and Nabiki
hadn’t been so put off by the idea of marrying a girl Ranma would have chosen
Kasumi. Ranma felt a spark immediately with her and she knew that with her,
she’d be happy.
Something kept
nagging at Ranma though... Some part of her kept saying that they were somehow
incompatible...
Shaking her
head free of these doubts, Ranma crouched down in the water and touched the
dimly glowing stone with her right hand. She felt a tingle and warmth caress
her hand. Yes this was magic. Not just a curse though. This was spirit magic,
and benevolent. “Hi,” Ranma breathed.
The warmth increased
then lessened...the spirit had heard Ranma.
“I really
appreciate your help,” Ranma began, addressing the rock, “but, that last girl
that hit her head on you...it’s strange, but her sister prefers her the way she
was. Is there anyway I could put her back to normal?”
There was a
short pause, the glow wavered.
“I know she
was a little violent, but it turns out she needs to be...at least for now.”
The glow
wavered a bit more and then lessened slightly in acquiescence.
“Thank you so
much! Now I don’t want to disturb you too much, but is it okay if I take you
out of this pond?”
There was
increased light and warmth from the stone.
“You mean
that’s what you wanted me to do all along?”
The stone
brightened and faded a bit.
“I’m so sorry!
You must have been here for ages! Here, I’ll get you out.” Ranma pulled and
shimmied the stone out of its place in the base of the pond. She felt the
warmth intensifying, and the excitement was more than a little catching. Ranma
finally got the stone free in a plume of brown smoke-like dust in the water.
Immediately the stone grew cold, lifeless.
“What
happened? What’s wrong? Where did you go?” And then, as the dust cleared, Ranma
could see it at the bottom of the pond, glinting in the moonlight...a ring. An
engagement ring by the looks of it. Ranma picked it up and held it to the
light. The diamond sparkled prismatically and even though it was a bit spotty
Ranma could tell the band was gold. “Wow! You’re beautiful!” Ranma exclaimed,
and the ring blushed.
Ranma
scrunched her eyes closed and opened them again. Yes the ring was, in fact,
blushing. “You must be what was making the stone glow!”
The ring
brightened and faded in affirmation.
Ranma felt a
decidedly feminine urge to see what the ring would look like on her finger...
she’d probably never be a bride, if she was going to marry anyone it’d be
Kasumi, and she’d want her to be the groom probably...still...
The ring
blinked once slowly. It would be okay.
Ranma slipped
the ring on her finger...
~~~~~*~~~~~
All of her friends and family were
here. There were so many! She hardly knew most of them, being an only child to
parents who weren’t fond of family gatherings. But they all came. They were all
happy for her. She would be sure to get all their numbers and keep in touch
after the wedding.
She looked up at her father. So
serious, his aged face some how both stoically blank and full of emotion at the
same time. Sensing his daughter’s look he looked down at her... “Are you ready
for this?” He asked for the thirtieth time that night.
“Daddy, don’t be silly,” she said,
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I love him, Daddy.”
Her father just nodded and faced
forward again waiting for the music to start.
“And I love you too Daddy, for doing
this for me. I know you don’t like him, but he’ll grow on you, you’ll see.”
“He isn’t a bad kid...I’m just worried
about you okay? That’s my job.” A small smile flashed on her father’s face and
then the wedding march began.
There he was at the altar, so handsome
in his tuxedo. She was glad they had done this western-style wedding now. It
was a request of her father’s, him being a retired
He was so wonderful...His eyes were
wide as he looked at her from the altar. She blushed wishing now she could just
run to him. She loved him, and he loved her and every time their eyes met it
was like a feed back loop of love that made her want to squeal in joy. This was
it. This was the day she joined him forever.
Her left hand found her right in front
of her and she fingered the engagement ring that still surrounded her right
ring finger. As far as she concerned they were married as soon as she put that
ring on, on that wonderful moonlit night three weeks before. This ceremony
wasn’t necessary, but then again it almost was... it was a celebration, and she
felt that without this she would just burst from trying to keep the joy inside.
After an eternity, she was finally
beside her love. The priest began to speak; only she didn’t really hear him
over the pounding of her heart. She said her “I do” and he said his and then
came the ring bearer... “Repeat after me,” the priest spoke to him, “with this
ring, I thee wed.”
He took the ring in his hand and,
slipped it onto her finger, “With this ring, I thee wed.” Soun Tendo said, and
it was the second happiest moment in her life.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Ranma jerked
the ring off her finger. “Whoa. That was...so real...”
Ranma wanted
to be male now. Liberated from gender restrictions she may have been, but she had
her limits. She hadn’t realized how much of a man she was before now, but
wearing a wedding dress, loving a man so fiercely... It was too much. She
decided she’d much rather be the groom. But she wasn’t likely to forget that
anytime soon...and she was glad she got a chance to experience it. “Thank you;
I don’t know how to repay you!”
The ring
glimmered as if to say Ranma needn’t worry about it.
“Was that your
wedding? Are you the spirit of Kasumi’s mother?”
The ring
dimmed.
“No? Oh wait a
minute if you’re in the pond then...she must have...thrown you here?”
The ring
brightened a bit, and then darkened further.
“I’m so sorry!
That must have been awful for you...to be abandoned like that...”
“Excuse me...”
a small voice called out from the side of the pond. Ranma looked and saw, oddly
enough, a small squirrel sitting on its haunches as it looked imploringly at
Ranma. Even at this hour, this wouldn’t be all that strange, except the
squirrel seemed to be wearing a formal house dress. Seeing that it had Ranma’s
attention it continued “I’m sorry... I was just wondering what you were
planning to do with our engagement ring.”
“Our...engagement...ring?”
Ranma repeated stupidly.
“It’s very
important to us...we owe our entire civilization to it. We just want to make
sure it’s treated well.”
Ranma blinked.
She supposed it made sense. After all this time in the pond the ring was bound
to get lonely. Of course it would try to make friends. Judging by the way the
koi in the pond were circling expectantly a respectable distance away from
Ranma, she guessed the squirrel wasn’t the only one.
“Oh! Where are
my manners! My name is Rchtcht, human ambassador for the United Sentient
Squirrels of the Ring. How do you do?”
“I’m well,
thank you. My name is Saotome Ranma, of the Saotome School of Anything Goes
Martial Arts.”
“Sounds
violent...” the squirrel noted.
“It can be
sometimes, but then the only peace that exists without conflict is death. What the
Art teaches is how to maintain a balance between the yin of peace, stillness,
tranquility, and death, and the yang of violence, chaos, adversity, and life.”
“An
interesting philosophy. Our culture abhors violence in all forms...but we also
don’t believe in judging people. If you must destroy the ring we will not stop
you, but I beg you to reconsider.”
“I’m not going
to destroy it! I was just asking for the ring’s help! You see, my fiancée’s
youngest sister was affected by it, and it was against her will. Much as I’d
like her to stay the way she is, Family Honor demands I find a way to change
her back.”
“Family
Honor... it must be something very powerful.”
“No one
escapes Family Honor for long.” Ranma said, “Sooner or later it gets you, and
then you are consumed by it.”
“It eats
squirrels?”
“I imagine
so...though usually it goes after young warriors, maidens, and aging
patriarchs.”
“That’s
dreadful!”
“Nah...That’s
only when it’s angry. Most the time Family Honor’s just a puppy dog.”
The squirrel didn’t
look one bit mollified by Ranma’s dismissal. “It won’t come around here will
it?”
“Hard to
say...But you shouldn’t have to worry as long as it’s satisfied.”
“We had better
make sure Family Honor’s satisfied then hadn’t we?” The squirrel said somberly.
Ranma nodded.
“I understand
now why you must take the Ring...Still, I would like to accompany you if you
don’t mind.”
“Okay...sure...Is
that okay with you, er...Ring?”
The ring darkened
a bit, but flickered a bit in acquiescence. Rchtcht climbed on to Ranma’s
shoulder and the martial artist made her way to the house once again.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Nabiki tossed
and turned in her bed. She was about a minute away from giving up entirely and
going down to the kitchen to replenish her snack stash and maybe get a late
night fix while she was at it. The idea seemed more and more like a good one.
Akane was sleeping on the floor beside her in a spare futon. She hugged a
stuffed teddy bear and looked...cute.
No one who
knew Akane could possibly sleep under those conditions.
Nabiki sat up
and squinted at the clock. It was two in the morning. Perfect. Too late to be
able to get a decent sleep and too early to stay awake the rest of the night. Nabiki
sighed and climbed out bed on the right side, so as not too disturb Akane. As
far as Nabiki was concerned any side was the wrong side though.
Wincing as
much from the pun as from the stiffness in her limbs, Nabiki stretched her arms
for a moment before she walked out of her room and down the stairs to the
kitchen.
Nabiki didn’t
like going to the kitchen late at night. She didn’t even like going there
during the daytime. There weren’t many things that really scared Nabiki. In
fact, Nabiki was hard pressed to think of one most times. But if a
psychological autocrat in some nightmarish Orwellian vision of the future had
to find Nabiki’s room 101, that man or woman would need look no further than
the Tendo Family Kitchen.
There wasn’t
one thing that really stood out as scary...aside from the occasional aftermath
from an Akane attempt. The kitchen just gave Nabiki the creeps. All the knives,
natural gas, the way everything was clean...it was just too freaky for Nabiki
to deal with. Anywhere else in the world, she was the master of her fate, but
in the kitchen...she was completely powerless. Nabiki took a breath and flicked
on the kitchen light.
“Okay...If I
were Kasumi...where would I hide the chips...?” Nabiki said, and tried to
imagine she was a many-armed primate with a little too much interest in the
health of her family. Kasumi wouldn’t throw away a bag of chips if she saw it.
That would be much too cruel. But she would try to hide it inconspicuously. Say
behind a bunch of jam jars in a top shelf... Nabiki fingered her hair
reflexively. There was a reason why she had short hair. It involved loosing
balance and falling from the kitchen counter after accidentally dropping two or
three jars of prize winning orange marmalade.
Kasumi wasn’t
going to try that again anytime soon... so that left the bottom shelves.
Nodding to herself, Nabiki crouched down and set to work removing a sack of
potatoes from a floor cabinet in the hopes of finding their salt-laden,
preservative-rich cousins.
A sack of
onions, some pots and pans, and a couple of boxes of rice pudding mix later,
Nabiki found her saturated fat salvation. She paused for a moment in reverence
before reaching in and grabbing the wonderfully crinkly and shiny metallic bag.
She stood up, holding the bag away from her so she could gaze at the bright red
“Happy Chips” logo. She traced the outline of the winking smiley face with her
forefinger adoringly. “You’ll never forsake me will you, Mr. Happy?” She shook
the bag so that it seemed to say no. “That’s right. You’ll always be there to
make me feel better.”
Nabiki
embraced the bag of chips and swayed slightly from side to side. “Oh Happy
Chips, Happy Chips they’re the best!” she sang, “Happy Chips, Happy Chips, just
put them to the test! Just one chip and you’ll agreeeeeeee! Happy Chips are the
best chips there can be!”
“You have a
lovely singing voice,” Ranma commented from the entryway.
Nabiki took
account of her situation. She was currently standing amidst a pile of pots,
pans, and starchy foods, embracing a bag of potato chips and, until only just
recently, she had been singing a commercial jingle... This was bad. Yes, if it
would make the embarrassment go away, Nabiki would kiss Big Brother on the lips
right now.
The stray thought
that Ranma was potentially her future brother-in-law passed wickedly through
Nabiki’s mind, causing a few more moments of ineffectual jaw flapping as she
tried to collect herself. Then her eyes drifted to the side of Ranma’s head and
Nabiki was shocked into coherence. “Why is there a conservatively dressed
squirrel on your shoulder?” Nabiki asked.
“I don’t
know,” Ranma replied innocently, “why isn’t there one on yours?”
“Because I’m
not in the habit of befriending rodents with out-dated fashion sense!”
“That’s
odd...neither am I...” Ranma shook her head smiling. “I’m sorry I’m being
rude.” She gestured to the squirrel sitting on her left shoulder, “this is
R...r...what was your name again?”
“Rchtcht,” the
squirrel replied
“Umm...yes.
This is Ritsuko, human ambassador for the
“How do you
do?” Ritsuko the squirrel bowed, “I must agree with Ranma, you have a very nice
voice. None of us squirrels can sing I’m afraid. Haven’t the right vocal
chords. Our voices are much too strident. Is serenading your food a human
custom?”
Nabiki rubbed
her brow with her hand. “Okay. First of all, that is not a human...that is a
squirrel. Second, the
Ranma gasped,
“The USSR is gone? Did you hear that, Ritsuko?”
“No, it can’t
be! Unless...maybe it was Family Honor?” Ritsuko fretted.
Ranma gulped.
“Hundreds of squirrels, committing hari kari in the trees...the horror!”
Nabiki arched
an eyebrow. “You CAN’T be serious...” She looked at Ranma’s pale complexion,
“Oh gods, you are... Look, I don’t know what you’re thinking of, but the
Both Ranma and
Ritsuko sighed in relief.
“Now,” Nabiki
took a breath and straightened herself, “Do you have anything important to
discuss? Otherwise some of us have to get our beauty sleep.”
“Aw cut it
out, Nabs. You’re not that cold.”
“Yes I am!”
Nabiki snapped. “I strike fear into the hearts of all! They call me the Ice
Queen of Furinkan High!” Nabiki pointed to the ceiling with her right hand while
her left clutched the bag of potato chips as she stepped regally on an
overturned cooking pot.
A gust of cold
air seemed to blow through the room, making Ranma and Ritsuko shiver.
Nabiki winced
and relaxed out of the position. Crap. Kuno was contagious!
“You can’t
fool me. You were singing commercial jingles. You can’t be cold and officious
and sing commercial jingles!”
“No! I’m evil!
Look!” Nabiki gave Ranma her best evil face...
“Yeah yeah
nice try. Anyway I found a cure for Akane, do you want me to cure her now, or
should we wait till tomorrow?”
Nabiki sighed.
She had completely forgotten about Akane. If Ranma had a cure, then he/she was
out of Nabiki’s debt, and she had lost the only bit of power she had over the
martial artist... She needed to focus. She was in control. She knew what she
was doing...but somehow Ranma was keeping her off center... Ranma wasn’t
important. Once Akane was cured she could focus on other problems. “We’ll cure
her tonight. No sense delaying it.”
Ranma nodded.
“Will you hold Ritsuko for a second?” She let the squirrel run down her arm
until it reached her upturned hand.
“Why?” Nabiki
asked, offering her arm after some hesitation. Ritsuko climbed up onto her
shoulder.
“Just a
moment. I’ll show you.” Ranma darted her eyes over every thing on the floor,
noting its position, size, shape, and probable weight all in the matter of a
few seconds. Then she closed her eyes for a second more before opening them...
Nabiki felt a
rush of wind and heat as a blur passed over the floor. By the time she realized
what Ranma was doing, the red-head had more than half of the things back in the
cabinet. The martial artist was beginning to slow though. Nabiki could catch
glimpses of her now, especially when she was at the cabinet.
Nabiki walked
beside the cabinet and caught Ranma’s shoulder when she appeared again. “I’m
sooo impressed, Saotome, really. But you’re not making things any easier.”
The contact on
Ranma’s shoulder caused her to jump and hit her head on the inside of the
cabinet. “OW! Wha?”
“Kasumi has
specific places for everything. If you just shove things in there she’ll
know... and guess who’ll get the cold rice come supper time.” Nabiki pointed at
herself. “Just let me put everything back and meet me at my room in say...ten
minutes okay?”
Ranma studied
Nabiki’s expression while she rubbed the back of her head where a nasty lump
was forming. “You know the exact position everything was in?”
“Of course.
You think I want my sister angry? She may be even tempered but if you try her temper,
she gets even.”
“You are a
formidable individual” Ranma said oddly, as she stood up. She put her palms
together and bowed. “I see the god in you.” And then she left.
“What the hell
was that about?” Nabiki wondered.
“Please, I
wish you wouldn’t curse in front of me,” Ritsuko admonished from Nabiki’s
shoulder.
The squirrel
had her front paws under her chin clasped together. Cuteness and strangeness
seemed to be battling for superiority in the creature. Nabiki contemplated her
bag of potato chips...No. First she had to clean up, and then she’d inhale the
contents and wait for Ranma to come with his miracle cure.
“Ritsuko...”
Nabiki asked as she pulled out some pots and pans.
“Yes?”
“Do you get
along well with other squirrels?”
“Of course!”
Ritsuko replied cheerfully. “After all, a communism cannot work with out a
well-organized collective!”
“Oh gods!”
Nabiki moaned and tried her best to ignore Ritsuko for the rest of the night.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Ranma left the
bathroom feeling nicely refreshed after a short dip in the furo. It was good to
live in civilized society again. And it was kind of nice being male again.
After all he’d have to go to school as a girl if he didn’t want any problems.
In his experience, a girl that turned into a guy was weird and pitiful, but a
guy that turned into a girl was perverted and fair game for practical jokes. As
far as Ranma was concerned he was both a boy and a girl so Family Honor didn’t
have a real problem with it. Besides even though he’d show them all, the less they
were reminded of the curse, the better, and he could avoid hot water easier
than cold.
Putting his
black pants and red shirt on over his boxers and tank top, Ranma headed toward
Nabiki’s room with the ring. But just as he got to the top of the stairs, he
heard a low ominous growling.
“Aw, come on!
I’m going to Nabiki and Akane’s room in the middle of the night in my male form
for purely platonic reasons!”
The growling
increased.
“Okay so I think
Nabiki is kind of cute. That doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything to her! I’m
engaged to Kasumi! She’s the one I want to marry! That hasn’t changed. If I
like one of her sisters then that’s a good thing isn’t it?”
“Arrgh,” Ranma
grimaced as he realized how stupid that sounded. “Okay. You’re right as always.
I could see her just as easy as a girl. But I really wasn’t going to do
anything...”And with that, Ranma went back to the bathroom and doused herself
before heading back up the stairs to Nabiki’s room.
~~~~~*~~~~~
“Wake up,
Akane.” Nabiki nudged her younger sister with her foot.
Akane sat up,
stretched cutely and rubbed her eyes, squinting against the overhead light
Nabiki flicked on. “What is it, big sister Nabiki? It’s still night time isn’t it?”
Nabiki turned
away. This was too much. She looked at her bag of Happy Chips. Licked her lips
once and opened them. Taking a single chip out, she popped it in her mouth,
closed her eyes and savored the glorious sensation of salt crystals dissolving
on her tongue. Everything was okay. Nothing was wrong. So the laws of Physics
were being habitually broken, so an invisible canine with a keen sense of
vengeance had taken residence in her house, so a talking squirrel was sitting
on her shoulder spending every other minute trying to convince her of the evils
inherent in capitalistic philosophy, so her sister the tomboy had turned into
some uber-feminine distortion of her former self. Everything was fine...
Nabiki took a
handful and stuffed her mouth.
The loud
crunches in her jaw served to drown out her thoughts for a moment before she
finally turned to Akane once again. “Saotome is coming up and he’s going to
cure you. I thought you’d like to know.”
“Cured?” Akane
asked, “Cured of what?”
“Tonight you
tried to help Kasumi in the kitchen and didn’t get angry when she told you she
didn’t need your help. You then expressed a wish to ‘serve your husband’ and
then ran screaming in fright from your room because it stank. You see where I’m
getting with this right?”
“Yes...” Akane
sighed lowering her head. “I was going to tell everyone during supper, but in
all the commotion...Nabiki I don’t want to be the heir to the school anymore.
When I fell in that pond....It was a revelation. I realized that all my life I
had been fighting people. Not just the boys in school, but my friends and
family too. It’s just sickening how I’ve treated you all. I don’t want to be
like that any more. I want to be loving and kind and get married and have lots
of children and live in a cottage some where in the hills...”
Nabiki reared
her hand back and slapped Akane “You aren’t getting married, you aren’t going
to live in a cottage in the hills and you WON’T be having any babies. Not while
I’m around YOU GOT THAT!”
Akane nodded
holding a hand to her face as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Now as I was
saying, Saotome is coming up here to cure you...”
“But I don’t
WANT to be cured!” Akane wailed hugging her teddy bear tightly.
“Tough luck. He’s
coming up here whether you like it our not. He’s going to cure you, and you’re
going to go back to your violent, boy-hating, tomboy self or so help me I will
shove that teddy bear so far up your ass the stuffing will be coming out your
nose!”
“Um... Nabiki-chan...Is
it really necessary to resort to threats?” Ritsuko offered from the left side
of Nabiki’s head.
Nabiki smiled
crazily. “Ritsuko, I couldn’t help noticing you were a little thin. Why is
that?”
“Why would you
say I’m thin? I’m just the right weight!” A tiny grumbling in the creature’s
stomach belied her statement.
“I bet if you
weren’t wearing that dress, I could see your ribs through your fur. You share
all your food with the ‘collective,’ don’t you?”
“Of course.
Everyone gets their fair share.”
“And what
about the sick, handicapped, and elderly? How do you decide how much food they
get?”
“We all take
only what we absolutely need and leave the rest for those less fortunate.”
“How sweet. So
it’s all based on the honor system is it?”
“We don’t want
anything to do with Family Honor...we just don’t think anyone should suffer...”
the squirrel’s stomach grumbled again.
“You’re
civilization is doomed. You are ALL suffering! One good drought or bad cold
snap and all of you with your weak constitutions are going to expire and
languish in the rot, victims of your own altruism.”
“We will
survive! Through love and understanding we can outlast any storm!”
“Nabiki! Leave
her alone! She’s a guest!” Akane spoke up.
Nabiki thinned
her eyes at her sister. She took out a potato chip. She turned her head to
Ritsuko who was twitching frantically in what must have been a display of
squirrel anger. “I want you to eat this chip, Ritsuko.”
The squirrel
shook her head, “No, I couldn’t. I must bring it back to the main tree and
divide it equally among us.”
“You aren’t in
your tree right now, so you must follow our rules. I just offered you a gift.
It would be rude of you not to accept it.” Nabiki waved the chip in front of
the squirrel. She wondered if squirrels could digest potato chips...well if
Ritsuko got sick at least she’d shut up.
“I’m sorry,
you’re right. I’ll just take one bite, and then I’ll save the rest for
later...” Ritsuko took a bite.
Nabiki
watched.
Ritsuko
fidgeted for a few seconds...
...and then
took five more bites in quick succession.
You can never
have just one. Capitalism is a beautiful thing.
Ritsuko was
still nibbling on the chip when there was a knock at Nabiki’s door. Nabiki
opened it to find a somewhat damp Ranma-chan. Pity Ranma wasn’t male. Nabiki
was looking forward to seeing if he was seducible. For Kasumi’s sake of course.
No...It was
better that Ranma was female. Nabiki would NOT get jealous of her sister. She
had enough problems.
“Come in,
Saotome. It’s getting late. Let’s just get this over with.”
Ranma nodded.
“Okay, Nabs sorry for keeping you up.” She entered the room, “Hey, Akane, how
are you?”
“Just fine,
thank you. Nabiki says you’re going to ‘cure’ me. I’m afraid I don’t understand
what she means by that. I feel better than ever right now.”
Ranma shot a
dark look toward Nabiki. “Nabs, if she feels better, why can’t we just let it
be?”
“Because it’s
not her! That girl is not Akane! Why is it so hard for you to understand that?”
“Don’t be silly,
big sister Nabiki; I’m still your sister!”
“Arrgh!”
Nabiki screamed. She shoved her hand in the potato chip bag and jammed the
handful in her mouth. Ranma, Akane, and Ritsuko waited as she chewed. When she
was finished, she was calmer. “Saotome, you are not part of this family yet,
and you have no business making decisions like this. Fix Akane. If she wants to
go back to being Miss Congeniality after that, fine, but I want to hear it from
the sister I know, not from whoever this is.”
“Whomever,” Ritsuko
corrected.
“Shut up.”
“Okay, Nabs.”
Ranma held her hands up. “I’m going to do it, I was just saying...”
Nabiki took a
breath and let it out through her nostrils. Her eyes never left Ranma’s.
“Right. I’ll
get right to it.” Ranma pulled out the ring from her pocket.
“What is
that?” Akane asked.
“It’s your
mother’s engagement ring.”
“What?” The
question came from both Nabiki and Akane.
“Would you
like to see it Akane-chan?”
Akane nodded,
her eyes beginning to water.
Ranma gave her
the ring.
Akane held it,
cupped in her hands. She closed her eyes and clutched it against her chest.
Hesitantly she slid it on her ring finger. A single tear fell down her cheek.
Then she opened
her eyes, materialized a mallet and slammed it into Ranma’s chin with a
powerful upward motion, sending him straight through the door.
“Akane, you’re
back!” Nabiki cheered. “Now,” she continued, walking to the video camera she
had on her night stand and ejecting a tape, “how much are you willing to pay to
keep this ‘in the family’ so to speak?” She waved the tape jauntily.
“Nabiki! I was
just brainwashed by my mother’s engagement ring and you’re going to charge me
money? Honestly!”
“Relax, Akane.
I’m your sister. I love you. I only have your best interests at heart.”
“Okay. I’m
sorry Nabiki, I love you too, you know.”
“So you’ll pay
how much? One... two thousand yen?”
“Nabiki!”
~~~~~*~~~~~
Ranma lay in
the upstairs hallway looking at the dark ceiling and rubbing her chin. “I
wonder why Family Honor didn’t stop her...”
She sat up and
looked in the bright room, at the two sisters embracing. “I guess maybe I had
that coming, huh.”
“Bark!” Family
Honor agreed happily.
“Come here,
girl.” Ranma called and scratched the invisible dog behind the ears. “I guess I
still have a lot to learn.”
Family Honor
chuffed in agreement.
“I don’t know
what I’d do without you,” Ranma said grabbing onto Family Honor’s fur, “Don’t
ever leave, okay?”
“Okay?” Ranma
repeated.
But Family
Honor was silent.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Kasumi woke up
that morning to find Ranma passed out in the upstairs hallway, a nasty scrape
on her chin surrounded by a blossoming purple of a bruise. She was lying on top
of the splintered remains of a door.
“I guess Akane
has been cured,” she said with a trace of sadness. It was nice having Akane
share her outlook for a while. She did enjoy her sister’s spunk, but it could
get tiresome at times.
She picked up
Ranma with six of her arms, and carried the redhead down to the kitchen. When
she laid the girl down she started to wake up. Kasumi knew she should move away,
that she might fright Ranma with her ugly animal face, she knew this but she
couldn’t move. She had to see if just maybe she had truly found someone who
wasn’t frightened of her. Who truly thought of her as an equal.
The girl’s
eyes fluttered open and when Ranma looked at Kasumi, she smiled. “You’re
beautiful, you know that?”
Kasumi allowed
herself a smile before getting up and starting the range to heat some water.
“I’m not beautiful, Ranma. I’m a monster. I’ve accepted that long ago.”
“How can you
say that? You’re no more a monster than I am.”
“Ranma, look
at me. Really look at me. I am not human. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I hope,
but it doesn’t change. I’m ugly, Ranma. Believe me; I’d like to forget it. I’ve
always tried to look on the bright side of things...but there’s a point where
that becomes dangerous. I’m worried about you. High school is a cruel place
sometimes. If people find out about our engagement...”
Ranma got up
and put a hand on Kasumi’s shoulder. “I’m telling you Kasumi, you’re the most
beautiful person I know. Inside and out. As far as the rest, I’m going to be
telling everyone in that place that I change sexes with water. I’m not going to
tell the truth about that and then lie about something as important as my
engagement to you.”
“You’re
telling them about your curse?”
“Yes. It’s a
part of who I am, and I am introducing myself to them today.”
Kasumi sighed.
“I guess maybe it will be okay for you.” She smiled, “You’ll probably have both
the boys AND the girls going after you.”
“I certainly
hope not!” Ranma blanched.
“Why not?”
“Boys have cooties!”
Ranma said in an affected girlie voice.
Kasumi
laughed. It was a good feeling...to laugh. “How is it you’re so comfortable
with it? Isn’t it hard for you sometimes?”
“What you mean
like getting a period even though I was born a guy?”
“You get...monthly
visitors?”
“Oh that’s a
much nicer way to put it! Sometimes I’m still a little crass from being raised
on the road I’m afraid. Yeah. I spent a month in an Amazon village. You don’t
want to be male in an Amazon village, let me tell you. And living there really
blew my father’s ‘girls are weak’ shtick out of the water. I don’t think he
ever really believed that, he was just using it to motivate me, still, yeah it
was hard at first, but I got over it.”
“But you could
get pregnant?”
Ranma looked
at Kasumi strangely, “I’d have to have sex first, but yeah, it could happen I
suppose. If you want, I have a few packages of instant Nannichuan and you can
see what it’s like to be a guy...”
Just then, the
kettle started whistling. Kasumi hurriedly took it off the range and moved to
douse Ranma.
“Wait a little
while, please Kas, the water really only has to be steaming.”
Kasumi smiled
abashedly. “I’m sorry, Ranma. It’s just...I never considered it possible...to
be human.”
“Well sure it
is! If that’s what you want. I also have instant Nyannichuan, that’s girl
water, if you want. As long as you don’t already have a curse, all you need is
water from the Chisuiton ladle and a packet of instant Nyannichuan and you’re a
human girl for life. Of course, the Chisuiton is a carefully guarded artifact
of a nation of powerful martial artists that breed with transformed animals to
increase their strength and are led by an almost undefeatable dragon prince,
but that’s not that big a deal really. You just really have to be sure that’s
what you want.”
“What do you
mean?”
“The thing
about magic is it’s too easy. You find the right artifact, make the right
sacrifices and as long as you follow the rules, you can have anything. I mean,
if I wanted to be a guy full time all I’d really have to do is make a
pentagram, find a satanic telephone directory, call up a demon, and agree to
let it do whatever it pleased with me after I die and poof! I’m a guy forever.
But I’d have to REALLY want to be a guy to do that. If I wanted to be a girl I
could just use the Chisuiton myself, but I’d have to be absolutely sure that I
was okay with losing my guy side. It’s all really easy to do, but much more
difficult to undo. No matter what I did I could never just go back to how
things were before the curse. I can go back in time, see myself get cursed over
and over again, I can even keep myself from getting cursed that way, but then
I’m either stuck in a parallel universe I don’t belong in, or I go back to
where I came from and have nothing be different.
“Anyway, all
I’m saying Kas, is that magic is tricky business.”
“Ranma. I
know. Do you think I was born like this?”
“You weren’t?”
“I couldn’t
have been, Ranma. Even if there are other pygmy sasquatch in the world, they wouldn’t
have eight arms or this ridiculous fur...”
“I think it’s
pretty.”
“I know you do
Ranma...But please, you should know this about me.” Kasumi took in a breath and
let it out. She hadn’t talked this long to anyone in a long time. “I don’t
remember much from my childhood, my first clear memory is of waking up in the
koi pond on a misty morning, not sure of who I was or how I got there. Mother
and Father were having an argument and I said they should stop fighting...I
don’t know why but they took me in. I only knew Mother two years before she
passed, but in that time she taught me everything I know about housekeeping and
life.”
“You
mean...you’re adopted?”
Kasumi looked
incredulous at her fiancé “Y...yes. I’m adopted Ranma. Now you know.”
“Have you ever
tried to contact your birth parents?”
“N...no,
Ranma. I’m a pygmy sasquatch with eight arms. If I have any living relatives
they’re probably in a freak show or in the thrall of some dark wizard or mad
scientist bent on ruling the world.”
“Oh. Yeah you’re
probably right. That’s a relief,” Ranma said, reaching for the kettle.
“Why do you
say that?”
“I was worried
for a second there you might be burakumin.”
Kasumi just remained silent as Ranma changed sexes with the water.
~~~~~*~~~~~
“...and that’s
why Akane was acting differently last night, and why Ritsuko here can talk.”
Nabiki finished explaining to her older sister.
Akane was in
the middle of a violent dream when Nabiki had left her room. So far it was just
her, Ranma, Ritsuko and Kasumi downstairs.
“Nabiki, could
I have another chip?” Ritsuko asked politely.
Nabiki smiled.
“Not just yet, Ritsuko baby. You’ll have to do something for me first, this
being a capitalistic society and all.”
“What do I
have to do?” Ritsuko was twitching with excitement.
“Oh nothing
much, just spy on a few people when I ask you to. Maybe incite a rebellion.
Easy stuff really.”
“Sure!
Anything!”
“We’ll write
up a contract later then. For now, Hey, Kasumi do we still have that bag of
walnuts?”
Kasumi jumped
as if coming back from a reverie and nodded. “I’ll go get it now, Nabiki-chan.”
Kasumi turned to go back into the kitchen where the soup was cooking but Ranma
stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Kasumi,
what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,
Ranma; just...I always thought I was born human for some reason. That I was
changed into this somehow...now...”
Nabiki’s eyes
widened “That’s right! Kasumi must have fallen in the pond! That’s where she
came from! She could have just as easily been a squirrel!”
“Or a fish”
Ritsuko noted.
“Or a human
being,” Ranma asserted. “What if a little girl had fallen in there and lost all
memory of who she really was?”
“Akane...”
Nabiki muttered, feeling a little sick.
“Kasumi,” Ranma
said, looking into his fiancée’s eyes, “you’re human now, no matter what you
were originally. No matter what you are on the outside. I wouldn’t have gotten engaged to you
otherwise.” Ranma hugged Kasumi. In his male form he and Kasumi were the same height,
and they fit together in a strange sort of way. Watching Kasumi’s back, Nabiki
could almost imagine that the fur was hair and skin, and that a normal girl was
embracing Ranma.
It almost made
Nabiki a little misty. Almost.
To think, if
it hadn’t been for Mom’s engagement ring, Kasumi would never have existed.
Kasumi was as much Mom’s daughter as anyone, Nabiki guessed. Of course so were
Ritsuko, the
They had had a
traditional funeral. It was Mom’s last request, which was odd considering she
was half American. But if it hadn’t been for all the tradition, Nabiki would
have had a hard time believing it was real.
Nabiki
remembered. First all of the family touched the body. Daddy was first, touching
Mom’s forehead lightly with his fingers, and then Nabiki touched the neck, so
cold and lifeless... After the rest of the family touched her, Nabiki and Akane
put socks and sandals on Mom’s feet so that she could travel the pathways of
the afterlife. They put her in the casket then, and Nabiki walked behind it as
Daddy and three other men carried Mom into the hearse.
They brought
the casket to the dojo and set it down, careful that it faced the right
direction. They set up an altar with her picture on it. The same picture that
hung there now. Daddy taught Nabiki, Akane, and Kasumi how to light the
incense, blowing out the fire not by breath, but by a wave of the hand and
setting the stick with its glowing point into the white sand in front of Mom’s
picture.
The casket
stayed in the dojo for three days, as friends and family came to view the body
and give their condolences. There was a whole set of procedure that governed
each visit and Nabiki remembered straining to sit still long enough so that all
the etiquette was taken care of. Daddy had strained under the pressure of it
all. Towards the end he was a complete wreck.
Finally after the
priest blessed the body, and everyone ate some funeral refreshments, they took
Mom to the crematorium. Nabiki wasn’t supposed to have seen it burn, but she
had snuck in anyway.
It was only
when she had seen the flames licking the casket that she could really believe
that Mom was dead.
It was
Nabiki’s most vivid memory.
Nabiki snapped
back to the present suddenly as she heard Akane bounding down the steps in her
pajamas. “Nabiki! Kasumi! You won’t believe this!”
“What is it,
Akane-chan?” Kasumi asked.
“The ring!
Mom’s engagement ring! It showed me all sorts of things last night. Stuff from
the past, where it came from...”
“Yeah it
showed me your mother’s wedding. That was nice.” Ranma nodded.
Akane thinned her
eyes at Ranma but then continued, unable to contain her excitement. “It’s Mom!
She’s still alive! Living right here in
There was pure
silence for a good minute and then Nabiki spoke. “WHAT?”
~~~~~[END]~~~~~
AN: I got all
that business about the traditional funeral from the movie “The Funeral”
(Japanese live action from the same director as “Tampopo”) Some of it might be
a little off. I’m not sure if they do the same things for women as for men
etc. Mostly what struck me when I
watched the movie though was how difficult it would be for someone to fake
their own death? So guess what?
I’ll be going
into the why’s and how’s and wherefores next chapter. I apologize if I offended
anyone^_^
Thanks to
Figment and Onigiri for looking at this.
This has to be
the weirdest fic I’ve ever written.
Feedback
greatly appreciated.
(And yes, I’m
working on Thyself Known. About a quarter done with the rough draft of the next
chapter.)