Thyself
Known
By
Zorknot
Disclaimer: There
once was a boy from Jusenkyo
Owned by Takahashi
Rumiko.
He changed sex with cold water
Changed back with hotter
Y no se si es chica
o chico.
What Has Come
Before: Nabiki and Ranma
have fallen for each other after a mind meld saved Nabiki’s life. In other news,
Shampoo renounced her Amazon-hood and enlisted Ukyo’s aid in carrying out
revenge on
~~~~~[BEGIN]~~~~~
“The saris go by me from the embassies.
Cloth from the moon.
Cloth from another planet.
They look back at the leopard like the
leopard.
And I...
This print of mine, that has kept
its color
Alive through so many cleanings; this
dull null...
You
know what I was,
You see what I am: change me, change me!”
-Randall Jarell Fr. “The Woman at the
~~~~~*~~~~~
Tendo Akane walked slowly away from Furinkan
High. It was a wonderful day. The sky was deep blue with wispy clouds that
almost weren’t there, birds soared majestically over head, and the sun sparkled
prettily off of the broken glass underneath the gaping hole in Hinako-sensei’s
English class.
Akane couldn’t enjoy the view though. As
usual, she was thinking about Ranma.
Was this what love was? Constantly thinking
about someone all day, every day? Having all emotion dedicated to the actions
of one solitary human being? Wanting to beat that person to a pulp one second,
and then wanting to be one with him forever the next?
A light zephyr of fresh air blew through her
blue school uniform and rustled the sunny tree limbs above her. A curled up,
brown fist of a leaf that had escaped half a year’s worth of raking, Neriman
weather, and general decay, skittered toward Akane on the street, blown by the
wind. Akane’s eyes riveted themselves to it as she passed, even as they misted
over.
There was a time when Akane was on top of
everything, when she knew exactly who she was and what she was doing. Sure, she
had problems, but she could handle them, and maybe eventually solve them...
Then there was Ranma, and then there was his mother, and now... Ranma would be
at Tofu’s clinic. He had after all saved Nabiki’s life. Akane would have to
apologize...only she wasn’t sure she could.
Akane’s hands tightened around the brown
handle of her bookbag. She took in a dry, empty breath, and continued walking,
no longer exactly sure of where she was going.
And so it was that Akane was nearly run over by
Ryoga as he ran down the street at a break neck speed. He skidded to a halt in
front of Akane. A nervous smile was already on his face and his hand already
behind his bandanna clad head when the dust cleared. “Akane-san!
W...what are you doing in
“This is
“It is? I could have sworn...I mean...I knew
that! I was just...making a joke! Heh heh.”
Ryoga looked off at nothing as he said this, his face
growing redder by the second. Now he turned his head back toward Akane and
lowered his hand. He frowned. “You were crying...What did that bastard Ranma do
to you now? I’ll kill him! I’ll pound him so far into the dirt his feet will be
kicking in
“Thanks, Ryoga, but it’s not really his fault
this time. It’s mine. I just feel so...it’s nothing.” Akane sighed and tried to
smile.
“It can’t be your fault! Did he say it was
your fault? He’s wrong! He’s telling you lies,
Akane-san! Don’t listen to him!” Ryoga shook his fist in anger.
Truth be known, Akane was a little afraid of
Ryoga. Razor sharp belts whizzing through her hair, barely missing her neck,
attempts at hugs that crushed concrete pillars, and his various maniacal
obsessions just made Akane a little uneasy around him. But the main reason she
was afraid of Ryoga was that, looking into his angry yellow-brown eyes, every
now and then Akane got the queasy sensation that she was looking at a distorted
reflection of herself.
“Why do you fight with
Ranma so much?” Akane asked suddenly.
Ryoga was taken aback for a moment but soon
recovered. “Because of him, I’ve seen Hell! He keeps running away and tricking
me instead of fighting like a man! Plus, he mistreats you all the time! I will
destroy his happiness if it’s the last thing I do!”
“What do you mean you’ve seen Hell? You say
that all the time, and it seems like something important, but you never say
what it is...”
Ryoga’s face was now somber and his eyes lost
a little of their fire. “You wouldn’t understand, Akane-san. There’s no way you
could know the tortures he put me through.”
“What tortures? It can’t just be the bread,
can it?”
“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BREAD! Don’t LISTEN to
him Akane! You’ve never been to an all boy’s school.
You can’t know what it’s like. Maybe if you were a martial artist...”
“I AM
A MARTIAL ARTIST!” Akane fumed.
“Um...right! Of course you are! I meant... if
you were a martial artist GUY. Yeah. If you were a martial artist AND a guy you
would understand...er gotta
go, bye!” Ryoga smiled nervously and ran off in the direction he came, yelling
“Just you wait, Ranma! Today you meet your doom!”
Akane felt sick. She could stop Ryoga, keep
him from fighting Ranma, but then again she couldn’t. Some part of her wanted Ryoga to beat Ranma to a pulp.
Some part of her wished she could do it herself. But she would get just as much
pleasure from nursing Ranma back to health, mending his wounds, feeding
him...only she couldn’t do any of that. She couldn’t cook, and bandages in
general were recondite to her.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she do
anything? Why was she so clumsy? It shouldn’t be so hard to learn how to swim,
or sew, or cook, and Ranma made it all look so damned
easy...
Ranma. It all came
back to him.
Akane kicked a stone idly as she walked. Her
eyes wandered to her bookbag, wherein a letter rested amidst well-worn books
and folders. A letter she must not let anyone see. The assistant principal had
something else to say to Akane after she got the phone call... Her grades were
dropping through the floor.
Before Ranma had come to Nerima, Akane had
been an honor student. She had never gotten lower than a “B” in anything.
Now...she was doing okay in History, but she was failing everything else. She
was just too distracted.
Was this love? Because if
it was, Akane wanted out.
Only she didn’t.
It was all so frustrating. Akane needed to get
home and smash a few bricks with her fists. That would make her feel better.
Only it wouldn’t.
She came upon an abandoned lot that wasn’t
quite as abandoned as it usually was. Through the chain link fence, Akane could
see Shampoo and Ukyo sitting in the shade of a cherry tree, talking animatedly
about something.
Akane entertained the brief fantasy that they
were both declaring their lesbian love for one another and would from now on
leave Akane to her Ranma troubles in peace. Unfortunately, it was far more
likely that the two were planning something.
Akane shrugged. She desperately needed a
distraction from her thoughts, even if the distraction was the two prettier and
more talented rivals for Ranma’s affection. She bound over the fence and slipped
a bit in the mud as she landed, waving her arms around to keep balance.
“Damn, Sugar, I’m surprised you cleared the
fence!” Ukyo quipped. She and Shampoo had just been talking about how wrong for
Ranma Akane was, something they had always been in agreement on, when the girl
had stumbled into their midst.
“Shut up, Ukyo. I have enough problems
without your insults on top of it all. So why don’t you tell me just what you
two have planned?”
Ukyo showed her hands, “It’s kind of Shampoo’s
business, Sugar. It really doesn’t concern you.”
“DOESN’T CONCERN ME?” Akane yelled, “He’s MY
fiancé dammit!” Akane
winced immediately afterwards. She had, for the umpteenth time, cancelled the
engagement that very morning.
“This isn’t about Ranchan, Akane. When are
you going to learn to listen? It’s Shampoo’s
business. Besides he’s my fiancé too you know...”
“Ukyo, stop.”
Shampoo put a hand on Ukyo’s shoulder. “Is Akane’s business
too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Akane affected by Amazon technique. For almost year now.”
“What?” Akane said.
“Sai
Fang Heng Gow.”
Shampoo explained.
“Oh.” Akane nodded. “Huh?”
“Shampoo— Honey, you’re not making things
much clearer here,” Ukyo noted.
“Shampoo use Sai
Fang Heng Gow on Akane.
Make Akane forget Ranma,” Shampoo said motioning toward her temple.
“You mean that Shiatsu attack! You know I’ve
been to several salons since then, and I’ve never been able to recreate that
refreshed feeling.”
Shampoo smiled proudly “Shampoo give too too good brainwashing. No
other compare.”
“Wait a minute here,” Ukyo held up her hands
“you mean you can brainwash people?”
Shampoo nodded, “Is true. Though need special
shampoo to do.”
“Why aren’t you married to Ranma right now then?”
Ukyo knew that if SHE could brainwash people she’d...she’d what? Manipulate
Ranma’s mind so that he’d love her? Give Akane and Shampoo a lobotomy? Ukyo
shook her head. She couldn’t do that. Not to Ranma, probably not to anybody.
But she had thought of it...when had she gotten this desperate?
Shampoo was silent for a while. “Ranma like Akane. I know this from when give kiss of
marriage. Ranma let violent girl hit. Ranma not like it when
make Akane forget him. Ranma not Ranma if change mind. Shampoo hand
tied.”
“Quit talking as if I’m not here!” Akane
demanded.
Shampoo turned to Akane with half-lidded
eyes. “I no like you. You is not warrior, you is small child in body of womans what play with Art.” She looked away, “I forget
sometime it not all you fault.”
Akane raised her fist. “Look who’s talking,
you Chinese bimbo!”
Ukyo marveled at how thoroughly Akane
illustrated Shampoo’s point for a moment before returning her attention to
Shampoo. “Just what are you saying, Shampoo?”
“Sai Fang Heng Gow what erase memory, but
must have formula 110 shampoo to make last for longer than few minute. It freeze brain, keep from changing too much.” Shampoo took in
a breath and then let it out. “Keep Akane from learning new skill.”
A wind picked up, waving the wispy
yellow-green grass of the lot. A leaf tumbled across the ground between the
three girls. Akane felt a chill.
Ukyo blinked her eyes in understanding.
“So...all this time...Akane not being able to learn any new techniques, or how
to swim, or cook...”
“I can cook curry pretty well now, thank you
very much!”
“...or listen,” Ukyo continued, “it’s all from this technique you performed on her almost a
year ago?”
Shampoo shook her head. “Not from technique,
from formula 110 shampoo. One dose just enough to keep brain frozen until Sai Fang Heng Gow
become permanent, but Akane receive second dose...”
“Ranma...he washed my hair with the same
formula of shampoo!” Akane remembered. “He tried to cure me but made things
even worse! And all to satisfy his ego! All because he
couldn’t handle me not remembering him!”
“Listen, Jackass, Ranma couldn’t have known
it would do that to you! Ranma isn’t to blame for every thing that happens to
you! I would think you would have learned that...by...now.” Ukyo deflated a
little. “Oh.”
Shampoo nodded. “Is all
Shampoo fault.”
“Well it was your fault too, Sugar. Let’s not
forget that,” Ukyo pointed out.
“That what I say! Is all
Shampoo fault!”
Ukyo frowned for moment then hit her palm with
her fist. “You want to say ‘it’s all MY fault!’”
“But how could it have been your fault, Ukyo?
You weren’t even there.” Akane asked.
Ukyo buried her forehead in her palm.
“Is all...my...fault” Shampoo repeated. “I
know what shampoo do, and still almost use again on Akane before Ranma punch to
beat. Akane probably get better at curry because is skill she know before. Just
improve on. But no can learn new food she never make
before.”
Akane thought back. Just before that day when
she challenged Shampoo, she had given up on Tofu, trained in Martial Arts
Rhythmic Gymnastics, had been getting A’s in Algebra and Biology, and was maybe
possibly just starting to think of Ranma as more than a strange sort of friend
while at the same time getting annoyed that he didn’t protest Shampoo’s
affections more.
After Shampoo used her technique...what?
Things happened. She helped out Ranma a few times, had a few battles, but
emotionally and ability-wise she had been in a holding pattern ever since. She
had learned no new techniques, her grades in everything that required more than
rote memorization had started to fall, and even after Ranma proved himself
hundreds of times to her...Things between them had gotten worse, not better. It
was all a vicious cycle that she couldn’t seem to break out of... “I...I
thought it was stress...I thought...”
“Wait a minute here,” Ukyo said, “How is it
she can learn information like this, but not how to do anything?”
“Brain tricky.
People what have no memory of self still know how talk. Sometime in village,
someone have brain problem. No can use part of face or body but just fine with
other parts. Sometime even get new ability. 110 formula
work on parts what make new techniques, but must use Sai
Fang Heng Gow to change other
parts.”
“Why now?” Akane asked, “Why tell me now? All
this time and you wait till now to gloat! Did Ranma sleep with you? Is that it?
Did the two of you get together after I left and have sex kitty style or
something?”
“What Violent Girl know
about it?” Shampoo screamed, “She no get anything! She
stupid even before Shampoo use shampoo! Akane watch and do nothing! Akane watch
Ranma cat almost...almost...”
“What are you talking about? You two were
pawing at each other like cats in heat! How is that different from what you
normally do?”
Ukyo stepped in front of Shampoo. “Akane,
Shampoo’s not an Amazon anymore. She renounced her marriage to Ranma; that’s
why she told you all this. The way I figure it, you deserve what you got. Now leave,
before I decide to reconsider my pledge not to beat up the weak.”
“What? But...”
“Leave, Akane. Maybe it’s not all your fault,
but I don’t care right now. Just go.”
Akane stood for a moment trying to think of
something to say, but the look in Ukyo’s eyes told her that talking right now
wasn’t the smartest of ideas. Besides what did she care? These were her rivals!
Resolved, Akane turned back toward the fence.
They were also her friends.
Akane slammed her open palm into on of the
metal posts of the fence. It bent inward deeply from the blow. Letting her
frustration move her now, Akane threw her bookbag down, grabbed the links of
the fence with her hands pulling, ripping, and tearing them apart with a series
of snaps and low creaking sounds.
Her hands bleeding now, Akane picked her bag
up again, shoved herself through the hole she had made in the fence and walked
on to Tofu’s clinic as the implications of everything she had learned
percolated in the blast furnace of her mind.
“Note to self,” Ukyo muttered, staring
blankly at the hole in the fence, “Never, under any circumstances, let Akane
hit me.”
Shampoo nodded. “Is very good note.”
~~~~~*~~~~~
She was a girl. She stood naked in front of
the full-length mirror in Tomo Hoko’s bedroom, fondling herself. But she was
not Tomo Hoko.
The person in the mirror was a normal looking
teenage girl. Not a bombshell by any means; she had average dimensions and long
hair with bangs that partially hid a face that was just pretty enough to be
unnoticeable in a crowd, which suited her just fine. But it wasn’t her. Or was
it?
She caressed her anatomy, tickling nerves on
each patch of skin that told her that she was the same as this girl in the
mirror. Is this me? Is this my body? Are
these my breasts? Are these my thighs? Is this my... She bit her lower lip,
barely stifling an involuntary squeal of pleasure. They say beauty is only skin deep...but isn’t the skin the largest
organ in the body? Isn’t how you look the main component of who you are?
Tears passed down her cheeks even as shudders
of pleasure passed through her. She cried now even more than earlier, in the
bathroom, when she had been slicing her arms with a razor. Not to kill. She
didn’t want to die, not yet anyway. No, she needed pain, she needed pleasure, she needed this body that she saw reflected back at her to
convince her that she belonged here, that she could stop looking, that here in
front of her, was her true self.
But she knew that wasn’t true.
She woke that morning in Tomo Hoko’s bed, to
the sound of Hoko’s mother knocking on the door. If she had gotten up then or
even remained silent, she would right now be following Nabiki around or
participating in some grand scheme of hers. Instead, she had taken a perverse
pleasure in telling the woman to fuck off.
Naturally, Hoko’s mother was concerned and
came through the door, and naturally, upon seeing the girl she thought to be
her daughter openly masturbating she had become even more worried. The last
straw though, she reflected, had been when she asked Hoko’s mother if she
wanted to help.
That was stupid.
Now, she was essentially under house arrest,
with her ad hoc mother concerned about how “ill” she was.
Perhaps the poor woman would have a heart
attack and save her from having to kill the bitch herself.
Focusing on her image in the mirror and
blurring out the marks on her arms with her mind, she brought out her demon
cloth from null space and passed it over herself. When she looked in the mirror
again, the marks were gone. It wouldn’t do to have herself thrown into a mental
institution for her little weakness this morning. If she didn’t already have a
goal in mind, going to a mental institution might actually be fun, but she had
to remain focused as much as possible.
She smirked to herself. One of the perks of
owning the cursed demon cloth was that she never had to shave, or cut her hair,
or clip her toenails, or even bathe if she didn’t want to. She was a little
slow in catching on to this hidden benefit, but now she took it for granted. Sometimes...like today...she missed all that though.
The Migration never ends
The Migration. The fucking Ijuu. Someone else had
joined it, she could feel it like a static charge in
her brain. There was no doubt in her mind that it was Ranma. The bastard would
probably get through the initial stages smelling like roses. He had people that
cared about him, after all, even if he was an arrogant prick. She’d like to see
what he’d do if he had to grow up in a orphanage, spent all his time moving
from place to place without any ties to anyone, without a single constant save
himself. She’d like to see what he’d do if even that last refuge eroded away,
leaving nothing but a shadow...a desperate, hungry shadow...
But she’d settle for a gruesome death in a
pinch.
She took a breath and calmed herself. She had
to convince Hoko’s mother that she was alright and that it was just especially
painful cramps or something. She had to be ready for Nabiki’s scrutiny, and
while she could do this with enough concentration, she had to be mellow.
First things first, she had to get dressed.
She went to the dresser and opened the top drawer. The
panties. She picked up a pair and smelled them, but they just weren’t as
fulfilling laundered. Tomorrow at school she’d be in the girls’ locker room and
she’d get all the panty action she wanted there. If she
hadn’t blown it this morning...
But no matter. She
put on the panties and a bra she found, taking time to leer at herself in the mirror a bit, and then went to the closet for
some outer wear.
She decided she liked being a girl. It was
like she was her own prostitute, and she didn’t have to pay. Even the
masturbation was wonderful, once she got the hang of it.
Hoko’s mother was a pain. She wished she
could just kill her, but of course if she did, then she’d have to kill Hoko’s
father as well, and then the people at Mr. Tomo’s business firm would wonder where
he’d run off to, and things would lead to more complicated things. It just
wasn’t worth it.
She decided to go with a short skirt and dark
colored top with a jeans jacket. She put on long black socks that went past the
knee and black sneakers. She looked in the mirror again. It seemed okay, but as
far as she knew she could be breaking several major fashion rules. She blinked.
The girl in the mirror blinked. She liked how she looked right now.
There was a pang as she realized she had lost
another part of herself.
“I am Copycat Ken.” She asserted to her
reflection... but it felt wrong, alien now. She was not Ken anymore. Ken would
have just copied whatever Hoko had worn before she died. Now after several
months of stalking people, of killing them, stealing their lives and making
them her own for days, even weeks on end, she could no longer say with any
certainty whether she was male or female. “I was Copycat Ken” she said sadly, “Now, I’m just Copycat”
Ever since that last battle with Ranma, she
had been unable to find her true form, the body she had been born with. Ever
since then, she could only be other people, never herself. She tried to
remember what she looked like, but she had no pictures of herself,
and instead of getting closer to finding her original form, she found it
slipping further and further away.
Copycat left the room, whereupon she was
quickly intercepted by Hoko’s mother. “Just where do you think you’re going,
young lady?”
Copycat smiled, “I feel much better now, Mom.
I was just...I had a weird...personal dream...and I didn’t expect you there...”
Hoko’s mother nodded. “I know you’re growing
up, but that’s really no excuse for...Hoko, dear, that just didn’t seem like
you at all. I was almost sure you were possessed or something like in that
American movie...Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine, Mom! I’m going to go to Tofu’s
anyway to get a note for class tomorrow. I’m sure if there’s anything wrong
he’ll find it.”
“Do you mind if I go with you? You really had
me worried.”
“Oh okay. How do I look?”
“You look...very fetching.”
Copycat laughed.
“What’s funny, dear?”
“Nothing,” she waved it off sobering, “just a
private joke.”
“I’ll just get my purse and then we can go,
okay?”
“Sure” Copycat agreed. She crossed her arms
and leaned up against the wall as she waited for Hoko’s mother. She allowed
herself to think optimistically for a few moments. Four months of careful
planning, stalking, observing and she was now almost ready to make her move on
Saotome. First, though, she had to take out his most effective defense against
her...Nabiki. The Ijuu...it would complicate things,
but no matter what, the end result would be the same.
Ranma was going to die.
~~~~~*~~~~~
“PREPARE TO DIE, RANMA!” Hibiki
Ryoga ran along the street away from Akane. She had
gotten angry at him! Angry. At him! It had to be
Ranma’s fault. All those awful insults he threw at Akane every day...it must
have been rubbing off on him!
How could he say that Akane wasn’t a martial
artist! She was a wonderful martial artist! Not compared to himself or Ranma or
Mousse or even Kuno in a real no-holds-barred fight, but still better than
most. Maybe he could convince Akane to go on a training trip with him! That way
she could feel better about her martial arts and he could have all that time
alone with her!
But...if she refused...
Akane
in a yellow sun dress and white hat looks up at Ryoga with tears in her eyes
and shakes her head. “No, Ryoga, I’m afraid I cannot go with you on a training
trip,” Akane lifts the back of her hand to her brow and looks away in anguish,
“for, alas, my heart belongs to Ranma, and I cannot bear to be apart from
him...”
Ryoga shook his head violently. No! His
fragile heart of glass could not withstand it!
Ryoga thought he heard Ranma just then. Ranma...calling him a coward.
“NO! I am no coward, Ranma! Just you wait!
Today you meet your doom!” Ryoga ran on. He had to keep moving. Keep his goal
in mind...otherwise he’d lose track and start to think of other things.
Why DID he fight Ranma so much?
It was a question that Ryoga himself asked
from time to time in the dark chill of night beside a dying fire. But he
already knew the answer, and thinking about it just drove him further into the
dark depths of his insurmountable depression.
So Ryoga kept running, and concentrated
solely on that, and on his goal. He paid no heed to stray thoughts or to the
passing scenery. Nothing could distract him from his revenge. “RANMA! PREPARE TO...”
“...shake vigorously and pour the liquid down
the throat.” Dr. Tofu looked up and smiled at the young man who had just made a
rather large hole in the wall of the examination room. “Good to see you, Ryoga,
but you know you really shouldn’t disturb me when I’m with another patient.”
“Oh we don’t mind, doctor. It’s nice knowing
that my husband and I aren’t THAT strange.” Yamashita Niburi adjusted the
position of her arm underneath her husband’s small body with a smile. “Isn’t
that right, my little sweetums?” she tickled her
husband’s nose with her finger.
“Thtop that! Woman,
I thweal...”
“Um...is Ranma
here? I’m trying to kill him.” Ryoga said eying the Yamashitas.
If he didn’t know any better he’d swear that the baby had just talked.
“He’s in the waiting room,” Tofu pointed to
the door, “Just take it outside if you could and...make
sure Ranma is wearing his earrings.”
Ryoga headed for the door.
“Ryoga...”Tofu called after him.
“What!” Ryoga snapped back.
“That’s the closet.”
“What’s Ranma doing in the closet? I thought
you said he was in the waiting room.”
“I did. The waiting room is over there,” Tofu pointed again, “that door
leads to the closet.”
“So where’s Ranma?”
“In the waiting room!”
“But you just said...”
The baby spoke up, “Ith
that...the Lyoga?
Hibiki Lyoga...the famouth lotht tlavelel?”
“Huh?” Ryoga asked...the baby DID talk!
“They tell thtolies
about you in Thikoku! Evely
week ol tho you letuln to The Town of the Boal
with giftth flom dithtant landth! That’th how I
came aclotht the map to the Fountain of Youth!”
“Ryoga, have you been to the Fountain of
Youth?” Tofu asked, grabbing Ryoga by the shoulders.
“Y...yeah.” His eyes
widened, “So that’s why that baby can talk!”
“Do you know of any cure?” Tofu asked.
“Er...have you
tried hot water?”
“Hot water?”
“You know...like Jusenkyo?”
Dr. Tofu pushed his glasses up on his nose.
He turned on the hot water in the sink. When it was just short of scalding he
filled a glass and poured it on the baby. In that instant, all of Yamashita
Ichiro’s eighty-five kilos returned to him and he fell to the ground with
nothing but a bit of blanket to cover his special purpose.
“Looking for portents in the stars, we must
remain mindful of our feet.” Tofu said over the stunned man on the floor.
“You mean all this time...ALL this time I
spent as helpless baby...and THAT’S the cure?” Ichiro stood up shakily, barely
remembering to cover himself.
“It wasn’t that obvious, I mean, who would
think of throwing water that hot on an infant?” Niburi argued.
“It’s not a cure...You’ll be a baby again
with a splash of cold water,” Ryoga noted.
“How do you know that exactly, Ryoga?” Tofu
asked chuckling. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you fell in yourself!”
Ryoga laughed nervously and his hand found
itself on the back of his head. “Umm...where was Ranma again?”
Niburi put a hand on Ryoga’s shoulder. “I’ll lead
you to her. It’s the least I can do.”
“Oh, so you’re going off with other men, now,
is that it?” Ichiro quipped.
Niburi turned back. “Is my little Ichikins worried I might leave him? I swear I’ll be right
back and we can play a nice little game of peek-a-boo.” Niburi laughed. “You’re
such a baby!”
As they went through the doorway to the
waiting room, Ryoga heard Ichiro remark, “I’m never going to live this down, am
I?”
It made him smile for a moment.
Then of course he saw Ranma-chan sitting
suspiciously close to Nabiki while they played some sort of card game with
Kasumi. Genma and Soun played shogi in the opposite
corner. Ranma, that bastard! Having fun
with other women while Akane suffers...
“You’re going to have to tell her some time
you know. It’s just going to get worse if you don’t,” Niburi said softly.
Ryoga nodded. “I know, I’ve been wanting to,
but things get so complicated...Wait a minute!” Ryoga turned toward Niburi,
“How did you know about Akane?”
“Hmm?” Niburi looked
up slightly, showing her mature, delicate complexion with its slight smile,
“Akane? So sorry, I was talking about Ranma!” She indicated the red-head with a
raised open hand.
Ryoga was silent.
“Oh, it’s obvious! Well, if Ranma hadn’t told
me she was really a girl all along I might not have made the connection I
suppose but...”
“Ranma said that? No. Ranma’s a guy. He would
never say something like that. That’d be like giving up. And even if he were a girl I would never...”
“Right. You would
never. So you just find any excuse to be with her.”
“Listen, lady, you got your signals crossed
or something. Ranma’s my worst nightmare. Nothing would make me happier than to
see her...him dead.”
Niburi sighed. “Fine, fine.
Just trying to give some advice. If you don’t mind
then, I’ll just leave you to your homicide.” She smiled impishly “It’s been a
while since I’ve seen my husband all grow’d up.”
Ryoga stood
unmoving for a moment after Niburi went back into the office, looking at the
girls and Ranma. He couldn’t just threaten to kill Ranma again, not after what
Niburi said. It’d be like proving her right...
Ranma-chan laughed, and damned if it didn’t
happen in slow motion... with sparkles.
Ryoga squeezed his eyes shut against the
image, but even as he did so, he wasn’t sure if he was trying to keep it out,
or tying to keep it in. Ryoga could feel it sure as anything...he was about to
spend a long time on the road.
When he opened his eyes, though, he had to
say something...“Ranma, how dare you go out with Nabiki behind Akane’s back!”
Ranma turned her head slowly in Ryoga’s
direction. “Howdy, Oinkster!
Good of you to join us! Say, you’re a guy right?” Ranma picked up a card that Kasumi had just
shown her and Nabiki and asked, “Tell me, what does this look
like to you?”
“A Rorschach inkblot,” Ryoga answered in
spite of himself.
“Yeah, I know
that. Why do you think we’re messing with them? So... what do you see?”
Ryoga found himself studying the mirror image
on the card. It was random and splotchy, of course, but there was something
about it. Thin on either end, wide
closer the center and then thin again where the fold would be, it looked
disturbingly like... “A mask. Like one of those cheap
plastic Halloween things.”
“Oh come on! It’s a bra! Look there are the straps...”
Ryoga’s eyes shifted to Nabiki’s amused and
smug expression and then back to Ranma.
“Okay...maybe I’m a little worried about Mom
coming, okay? I could have told you that.”
“Ranma-chan’s right,
Nabiki. That could be what it is. The inkblots are not precise. The
things you see in them are like the symbols in a dream. Sometimes their meaning
is quite literal, as would be the case if Ranma is only worried about having to
wear a bra. Other times though, they can be much larger. Nabiki, how would you
feel if Ranma was never a man again?”
“It really wouldn’t bother me,” Nabiki
replied seriously. “I always kind of liked Ranma as a girl
anyway.” Nabiki turned to Ranma now, “I know, I know, but I have to say
it. You seem freer somehow. More yourself. Except when your mother’s around of course.”
“Well, I guess I am pretty well built...” Ranma said pushing out her breasts.
“And that right there proves you’ll always be
a man inside,” Nabiki smirked. “Hey, Kasumi, is it
just me or is Ranma bigger?”
“Oh my, Ranma-chan’s growing up!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let me check...” Nabiki grabbed Ranma’s
breast.
“HEY!”
“Yep, definitely bigger than last time.” Nabiki
nodded officially.
“Let’s see how big YOU are...” Ranma-chan
threatened and grabbed a hand full of Nabiki.
Ryoga couldn’t take it anymore. “Ranma! What do you think you’re doing?”
Ranma, out of reflex, immediately brought her
hand back to her side. “What are ya talking about?”
“Akane’s your fiancée!”
“Actually, I’m his fiancée now,” Nabiki
informed.
“What do you mean?”
Ranma turned to Ryoga. “Look, Pigface, Akane broke it off again
this morning, and a lot of things happened since then, alright? It’s not the
first time it’s happened; let’s just hope it’s the last. I would think you’d be
happy anyway.”
“What about your honor, Ranma?”
“Hey, Nabiki’s a Tendo too, you know, and Shampoo
and Ukyo both have valid claims to boot. Why are you getting so worked up over
this?”
“I’m not talking about your stupid
engagement! I’m talking about Akane’s feelings! She deserves to be
told...instead you’re...groping Nabiki without her knowing!”
“Hmmm...now why does
this sound familiar? Oh yeah! You’ve been copping free feels from Akane without
letting her know! Listen, man, right now, I don’t even want to think about her,
and I don’t think I could stand living with her for the rest of my life. She’s
free, no strings attached. Get her while she’s hot.”
Ryoga felt the depression building. The
depression that would never go away, that was always there, waiting for him,
whenever he dared think clearly. If Akane wasn’t Ranma’s fiancée, then he
wouldn’t have an excuse to...to... “I won’t allow it. I can’t! I...”
A splash of cold water shocked Ryoga and
turned him into a piglet. He watched with surprise as Kasumi gently placed the
empty fire bucket to her side. “Forgive me, Ryoga-kun,” she bowed, “but you
were disturbing our harmony.”
“Hey I just thought of something...” Ranma
said, “If my female side is growing, how come Ryoga’s pig form hasn’t gotten
bigger or anything?”
“Maybe his curse is special... or maybe he
fell in a different spring and the curses mixed?” Nabiki shrugged.
“Yeah...I’ll have to ask him when I get the
chance.”
Ryoga in pig form turned and clicked away from Ranma and the
others. It was so easy for Ranma. Always so easy. In
junior high, it had taken months for Ryoga to establish himself as the top
martial artist. It had taken Ranma a day to take it away, making Ryoga once
again just a “stupid lost boy.” Ryoga challenged Ranma again and again, but
each time Ranma would win. Ryoga became a joke. He lost all of the friends he
had made. He got lost more and more often. Everyday Ryoga would see Ranma
laughing with friends that were once his, succeeding in all the areas where he
had failed. It was Hell. Pure and simple. And Ranma
was an undefeatable guardian of paradise...of the bread, of the respect, of
Akane...Everything that Ryoga wanted, Ranma would already have. But now Akane
was free. Now Ryoga could see her without guilt...and for some reason he wasn’t
at all happy.
For some reason, he was even more depressed.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Two and a half centimeters.
That was all.
No divine hand. No chivalrous knight. No moat
teaming with fantastic and terrible monsters. Just two and a
half centimeters. That was all that protected Tendo Akane from Ranma’s
words as they stabbed unerringly into her heart.
Then again if the door had been a little
thicker, maybe Akane would have gone inside. Maybe she would have seen first
hand what she had heard. That would have been worse.
There were a lot of ifs. If she had helped Ranma
out of the Nekoken, if she had kept him away from Shampoo, if she hadn’t been
so cruel to him that morning, if his mother hadn’t shown up when she did, if
Shampoo hadn’t used her shampoo to begin with...if, if, if, if. It made no
difference.
Nabiki was fine, even if she was in danger of
dying. As long as Nabiki didn’t come near her, Akane wouldn’t kill her. Akane
felt her mallet hand itching, and it took everything she had not to go through
the door and swing away at Ranma. She knew he wasn’t hers anymore, maybe never
was, but she just couldn’t grasp the meaning of that. It was another unknown
variable in the indecipherable math equation that was her life.
Then there was Ryoga. P-chan. Try as she
might, she could not think of the two entities as being the same person, even
with this direct evidence. And how many times had Ranma tried to tell her, even
before Shampoo’s formula 110? Shampoo was right. She had been stupid even
before. But she needed P-chan, needed someone to talk to, someone she could
trust. Even now, if P-chan came to her, she would hold him and cry and tell him
everything just like before, even knowing what she knew, because she could not
think of hurting the poor creature. She wished he would come out. She was so
lost...
As if summoned by her thoughts, P-chan jumped out of a window and
landed beside her. “Come here, P-chan, I...I need you right now.”
P-chan hesitated, then went to her.
Akane crouched and grabbed the pig, cradling him in her arms. She
thought of entering the clinic, but it didn’t seem like a good idea. If she
went inside, she would do something she would regret. Whether it was hurt
someone she loved, or simply break down. So Akane gathered up P-chan and her
distended emotions and turned away slowly from the door of the clinic.
Just then, she saw Nabiki’s friend Hoko
walking with her mother toward the clinic. Caught between not wanting to seem
rude and walk away and not wanting to talk to anyone, Akane wavered at the door
until Hoko was there. “Good afternoon, Hoko-senpai,” Akane greeted in a subdued
tone with a small bow. “Tomo-san” Akane bowed deeper to Hoko’s mother.
“Hey, Akane-chan!
What are you doing here?” Hoko asked.
“I...um...I was just leaving. It’s been a bad
day...I’d rather not talk about it.” Akane bowed again, trying to smile and
only managing a grimace. She moved to go, but then Hoko grabbed her forcibly by
the shoulder, surprising her, and causing P-chan to bwee
in alarm.
She found herself looking into the older
girl’s dark brown eyes. They were fierce, challenging...compassionate. Hoko
smiled. “It’s going to be okay, Akane-chan. It’s all going to be okay.”
Akane nodded hesitantly. When Hoko released
her shoulder, she left without any other words. She walked briskly from the
clinic, needing to get away.
For some reason, what Hoko said gave her the creeps.
“Great,” Akane muttered, “I already felt angry, confused, and
depressed...now I’m scared on top of that.” Akane looked at the pig in her
arms, looking up at her with a concerned expression. There was no way that the
little pig could be the same as Ranma’s violent martial arts rival that
demolished city blocks on accident... Akane needed to think, she was all
jumbled up inside. Luckily there was one place she could go, one refuge from the
pain of living, a sanctuary from the thousand natural shocks inherent in the
flesh that would not require excessive violence or the implementation of
jagged, pointy objects to enter.
“Come on, P-chan,” Akane said, “I need ice cream.”
~~~~~*~~~~~
Copycat was surprised to find the clinic so
crowded. When she saw Ranma she stopped stock still. It took all she had not to
pull out a tanto from null-space and slay the bastard then and there. But that
would be too fair. Ranma would win in a fair fight.
“Hoko-chan?” Hoko’s
mother asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing, Mom, just had a strange thought...”
“It wasn’t...personal...was it?”
“Mom!” Copycat
laughed. It was easy to pretend to be Tomo’s child. She had plenty of practice
pretending to be other people’s children after all. First in foster families,
then with the families of the people she killed. Every time trying to make it
work, but knowing that it wouldn’t. In a way, she did love Tomo. In the end, it
didn’t matter. She’d still have to leave her eventually...if she didn’t kill
her.
Nabiki got up from her seat. “Hoko! You’re alright?”
Copycat nodded, “That’s what I keep telling
Mom, but she won’t believe me.”
Nabiki frowned and seemed a little distracted
as she said “Well...you know how parents can be...”
A thirty-ish woman,
attractive, yet dressed so conservatively she seemed older at first glance,
left Tofu’s office, her arm around that of a well-built man in a brown gi
(probably Tofu’s) with short burnt umber hair that spiked and curled wildly
about the top of his head. Copycat got the impression that they had gotten
together primarily because she liked to clean messes and he liked to make them.
The two either had trouble finding time together, or one of them was impotent, because
the woman didn’t have the look of a mother, rather she had the slightly weary,
hopeful look of someone worried she might never become one. Copycat was quite
familiar with the type.
The woman introduced the man to Nabiki and
Nabiki bowed and thanked her. Apparently the couple was Yamashita Niburi and
Ichiro, and apparently the woman, Niburi, had somehow helped save Nabiki’s
life. Then Nabiki introduced Copycat as Tomo Hoko and she greeted and thanked
them. Copycat was genuinely thankful that Niburi had saved the life of her
“best friend,” If she hadn’t, Copycat would not be able to kill her.
Nabiki’s powers of perception were perhaps
even greater than Copycat’s, even without the surveillance equipment with which
the girl had a near symbiotic relationship. Copycat had chosen her first
victim, Buntaro, based on the idea that no one knew who he was, that no one
cared about him. After the second day at school, Nabiki approached Copycat and
wanted to know what was going on, why Buntaro was acting so differently.
Copycat said that it was trouble at home, the same excuse she had offered case
workers years before she had joined the Ijuu and the
oni offered her the demon cloth and the camera that could allow her to copy any
ability.
Nabiki offered Buntaro a job.
When they found Buntaro’s
body, as Copycat hadn’t yet hit upon the idea that merely burying a corpse was
not enough, Copycat had to find someone else. It must have seemed strange to
the police that the body was a week dead, while Buntaro was last seen the day
before, but there was nothing in the paper about it. By chance Copycat had been
using another form at the time, that of a male cop she observed earlier asleep
on some sort of stake out, to do some spying on Ranma, otherwise she might have
been found out. Aside from Buntaro’s destitute
mother, Nabiki was the only one at the funeral. Copycat had shown up as Generic
Overworked Cop and asked Nabiki what her relationship was to the deceased.
“Potential friend,” Nabiki had said simply.
Potential friend.
It was then that Copycat knew that she’d have
to kill Nabiki before she’d be able to get near Ranma.
Copycat smiled and said, “I guess I might as
well get this check up over with.” Tofu had since come out of the office and he
and Hoko’s mother exchanged some mindless pleasantries, before Tofu invited her
and Copycat into his office, apologizing for the state of the room.
Copycat wasn’t worried about being found out.
The demon cloth made Copycat a perfect copy of Hoko’s body, including basic ki
flow patterns. After a period of time, Copycat’s own distinct ki pattern would
start to become more visible, but by that time it would be attributed to
changes in lifestyle.
Hoko’s mother explained how she was worried
her daughter might have been possessed by something, but she was sure it was
nothing now and was sorry to take up Dr. Tofu’s time.
Tofu simply nodded and examined Copycat,
prodding certain spots and seeming to gaze through her.
The problem with simply walking up to Ranma
and slitting his throat when he least suspected it was that Ranma seemed to
suspect it all the time. Ranma could
detect things, dodge things, and anticipate things to the point where it was
uncanny. Copycat had once, in the form of Ryoga, tried to kill Ranma in his
sleep, only to have every attempt thwarted by a dodge. Copycat was almost
certain Ranma had some kind of latent precognitive ability.
Ranma had his weaknesses, but he also had an
annoying tendency to let everyone know what he was doing. Even if he could be
goaded into a trap, it wouldn’t matter because he’d say “Uh oh! Looks like I’m
walking into a trap!” and his allies would eventually find out and rescue him.
Copycat had no allies.
In order to defeat Ranma, she had to rectify
that situation. It was a long, arduous task to make new associations, she knew
this from experience. Nabiki already had allies, it
would be far easier to just steal hers.
Tofu said that he could see nothing abnormal
in the ki flow patterns and started with the physical check up. He asked
Copycat to turn her head and cough. She did.
Copycat’s next victim had been a Japanese
Language teacher. A single, middle-aged woman named Tanaka Kimiko. This time,
Copycat was extra careful to get the personality down. She found the camera
that stole abilities worked for personalities as well and it was fairly easy to
fool the woman’s students. It was considerably harder to stab the woman
repeatedly with a tanto, stuff her in the trunk of her own car, drive some three
hours into the countryside where no one was around, saw her up into segments
and throw them into separate dumpsters as she traveled back to
Copycat used her position as one of Nabiki’s
teachers to try to get some information on the girl. The thing was, Nabiki really didn’t have any enemies. Many people did not
particularly like her, but almost everyone Copycat overheard in the halls
regarded her with a respect that bordered on worship. Once, while Copycat sat
in the school office, Nabiki came in to see the assistant principal. Copycat
listened in. Nabiki was saying that there ought to be a school wide martial
arts tournament to raise money for the repairs to the gym that Ranma had
damaged in his fight with Hinako-sensei.
The tournament was held two weeks later.
Nabiki was not infallible. She hadn’t
suspected anything of Copycat as she taught in the guise of Tanaka Kimiko, and
while she got impeccable grades, Nabiki still made mistakes. She still mistook
one complex kanji for another or turned papers in late same as anybody else.
There was the occasional student who claimed to have won a heap of money off
Nabiki in the betting pool. And the tournament had of course been a complete
disaster. But the girl knew things. She got things done. And she was fair.
The only possible chinks in her armor were
her two closest friends, Inamura Yuki and Tomo Hoko.
Yuki was extremely popular. She was friends with Nabiki in a large part because
Nabiki kept Kuno from realizing that fact. Yuki had many friends aside from
Nabiki and furthermore, her father was a police detective; so she wouldn’t work
for Copycat’s purposes.
Hoko, on the other hand, was a loner. A
nondescript wall flower who worked for the school newspaper and wrote ho hum
articles about things people already knew with pictures that everyone had
already seen. She wasn’t an outcast or anything; she just kept to herself and
didn’t make any waves. She was perfect. But if Copycat was going to get so
close to Nabiki, she had to make sure she had Hoko down perfectly. Luckily,
there was one pathetic kid who no one really liked and who had almost every
class with the girl.
So Copycat made as if she were retiring from
teaching and moving to far away lands, and then set about killing Gosunkugi Hikari.
“I don’t see anything wrong, Tomo-san. Your
daughter is just a perfectly normal, healthy, teenage girl.”
Copycat got up off the examination table as
Tofu had Hoko’s mother sign some papers so he could get paid from the insurance
company. Then he walked her and Copycat out of the office, whereupon he and
Hoko’s mother exchanged a few more mindless pleasantries, which Copycat tuned
out, until Tofu turned to her smiling and saying “...and you, young lady. You
make sure not to kill your mother in her sleep okay?”
“Um...right...” Copycat replied. She glanced
at Tomo’s pained expression and was grateful that she hadn’t been the only one
who thought Tofu’s comment unfunny. She wondered just how much Tofu was hiding.
He had the stink of Ijuu, but he behaved so
innocuously... Maybe his remark was just an attempt at humor, but if it was,
then perhaps Ranma wasn’t the only one with latent precognitive abilities.
Just then, Ukyo and Shampoo came in
hesitantly from outside. From their body language, Copycat figured they had
somehow put aside differences and were now friends. Ukyo seemed almost
protective of Shampoo, so Copycat guessed something had happened to the Amazon
and Ukyo had consoled her. Shampoo’s hair was cut as if by a knife, which meant
she had either left the Amazons, or she had an unfortunate run in with Ryoga.
Copycat’s eyebrow went up with interest at this turn of events.
When Ranma turned to see Shampoo she turned into a he and
jumped...no... pounced on top of her, making a
horrible rowrling...
“Ranchan! What the
HELL?” Ukyo screamed
Shampoo screamed too but it wasn’t quite a
scream or even human sound.
Nabiki got up out of her seat on the couch,
her jaw open eyes blinking.
Genma jumped up and flattened himself against
the wall while Soun just sat stunned.
Kasumi ran to Tofu’s side and looked
worriedly up at him, but all he could manage in response to the situation was a
visible gulp.
Ranma tore through Shampoo’s cheongsam with
invisible claws. One breast and upper thigh of the Chinese girl now showed. It
was making Copycat excited and she started breathing exercises so she could
enjoy the view without revealing herself.
Shampoo whirled around and faced Ranma on all
fours. She hissed and it was a cat sound only larger, louder. That same sound
that made a small furry creature a source of fear now made this buxom girl from
Ranma was not dissuaded. He attempted to
circle around Shampoo, but the girl shuffled to face him. Nabiki moved closer
to Ranma holding a hand out hesitantly. “Ranma...she...she doesn’t want to mate
with you.”
Ranma whipped around. “What would you know of
it, HUMAN?” Ranma turned back toward
Shampoo but she was gone through the door, which she ripped apart in her
escape. Without a second thought, Ranma bounded after her followed by Ukyo...
and Nabiki.
Copycat wanted to applaud. Instead, she
looked up at Hoko’s mother and lied, “Mom, is it all right if you go home without
me? I’m going to see if I can help Nabiki.” Not waiting for the Tomo woman to
respond, Copycat ran out and, when she was sure no one could see her, jumped
onto the roof of a nearby building and continued after the three girls and
Ranma.
She considered the possibility of being seen.
Most people didn’t know Hoko, but if Nabiki found out, she would have
questions. On the other hand, Nabiki seemed rather preoccupied and was unlikely
to be looking above her. The alternative was to use the demon cloth to change
forms, but the only form she knew that would make sense would be Mousse and he
was probably at the Nekohanten, which might cause some question-raising if
there were reports of him being in two places at once. Also, in order to change
back to Hoko, she would have to study a photo of her, as she had only changed
into her once. Finally, if worse came to worse Copycat could always invent
secret martial arts training for Hoko. So Hoko she would remain. She bounded
over a gap between roofs. She was catching up to Nabiki and Ukyo but the “cats”
were still far ahead.
She brought her camera out of null space and
put her head through the strap, still holding on to it with her right hand as
she ran to keep it from banging all over the place. She would get to Ranma
eventually. The Nekoken was one of Ranma’s most powerful techniques and soon,
it would be hers.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Akane asked for hot tea with her parfait. As soon as she had,
P-chan started squirming. He must be
uncomfortable Akane surmised, and adjusted her hold on the piglet. After
she had her ice cream she would see the transformation first hand. Right now
she wasn’t ready for another blast to her worldview.
She sat down at a booth next to the window. Across the street she
could see the Hot Dog and Coffee, a neat little café owned by a gaijin. She saw
the owner walk out of the building and lean on the wall, lighting up a
cigarette.
Akane took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in her mouth,
watching the man. “I wonder what his story is.“ Akane muttered.
“Did he ever love anybody? Does he know what it’s like? Knowing that the one
you love will never love you, but not being able to change? Not being able to
learn how to cope with it?” Akane looked down at P-chan, “And you... I know
you’re Ryoga. But...I just can’t picture it. It just doesn’t seem right
somehow.”
P-chan bweed in
astonishment.
Akane smiled, “I guess you want some ice cream too huh? Okay here
you go!” Akane spoon-fed P-chan. “It’s funny.
You’ve been sleeping with me for months now. If I thought for one second you
were really Ryoga I’d probably be eating a ham sandwich right now. But that’s just it. I know you’re Ryoga...but all I can see is P-chan. It’s all so
confusing!” Akane’s fist clenched. “What did I do to deserve this? Honestly!”
She took several spoonfuls of parfait in quick succession.
She took a slower bite pensively as a knot grew in her throat.
“There I go again. Typhoon Akane. Let me just get angry at things, that will
make them better! DAMMIT!” She slammed her fist on the table, startling some of
the other customers. “I can’t help it though! It’s that shampoo. Shampoo’s
shampoo! It’s all that bimbo’s fault, no...it’s all
RANMA’S fault!”
P-chan bweed in
sympathetic anger.
“Another spoonful? Okay.” Akane fed the pig again. “Why
can’t I stop? Ranma didn’t know about the side affects of a double dose of that
stuff...But...arghh! It has to be the shampoo again!
I can’t even get it through my head that I’ve got a problem huh? Honestly! You
aren’t even a real pig!” Impulsively
Akane grabbed her Styrofoam cup of tea and splashed it on P-chan, feeling silly
even as she did it.
Suddenly she had a very nude Ryoga sitting in her lap. “PERVERT!” Akane yelled and malleted Ryoga into the
ceiling, which he bounced off of, landing rather harshly on the thin padding of
the booth seat.
“Ow,” Ryoga
said simply.
“I’m sorry Ryoga! I should have known you wouldn’t have any
clothes!”
“It’s okay,” Ryoga muttered nevously.
When he sat up again he was clothed in his usual attire and he had his hand
back behind his head. “I learned a few things from Mousse.”
Akane nodded still a little stunned. “You’re...you’re P-chan?”
“Yes.” Ryoga looked seriously into Akane’s eyes. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell
you, Akane! But Ranma always kept me from letting you know! And it was so nice,
sleeping in your bed...I mean...”
“When were you sleeping in my BED?” Akane started to feel her
anger rising, and then took a breath. “You mean P-chan. P-chan slept with me. Arrgh!”
“This is all Ranma’s fault.” Ryoga assured. “You need to cure
yourself and then get back at him somehow. I could help you train...”
“You would do that, Ryoga? That would be great! But...I don’t
think I could actually fight Ranma. He’s mean, but I still...I’ve got to get
cured. I want these feelings to go away.” Akane looked outside at the people
entering the Hot Dog and Coffee. “Really, if I didn’t lo...like Ranma...I don’t
think I’d want anything to do with him.”
“You mean...you wouldn’t want revenge? Not at
all?”
“I don’t know, Ryoga. I’m just tired of it all. I’ve fought Ranma
for every little thing for so long...and really it was only because he can get so
close to me. Get under my skin. It’s really because I like him that I get so
angry at him. If I could stop...if I could just realize that there is no way
Ranma will ever like me back...” Akane smiled sadly.
“I probably have about as much chance of getting Ranma to love me as you do
now.”
“Wha?”
“Hmph. I guess self doubt was something I was
good at before Shampoo.” Akane got up and put some coins on the table as a tip.
“I’m going home to pack. I’ve got to get away. Yuka was right. You’re really a
nice guy, Ryoga. Maybe once I get cured we can get together again...If I don’t
beat you to a pulp.” With that Akane
left Ryoga to sit at the booth alone.
Ryoga felt rather odd. He felt closer to Akane than ever before,
but why did there seem to be something missing now? Why did Akane’s proposition
of getting back together make him nervous instead of excited? Why was Ranma
chasing Shampoo on all fours outside the window? “Ranma, that
bastard! Going after Shampoo now! That’s it,
I’m going to kill him!”
“I’ve fought
Ranma for every little thing for so long...and really it was only because he
can get so close to me. Get under my skin. It’s really because I like him that
I get so angry at him.”
Ryoga shuddered. Every now and then Akane gave him the creeps. It
wasn’t how she was so blithely violent all the time, or how she nearly crushed
him whenever he slept with her as P-chan, that just made him a little nervous.
No, what scared Ryoga about Akane was that sometimes, staring into her angry
brown eyes, he felt like he was staring at a distorted image of himself.
He shook his head. “No. Ranma’s my sworn enemy. I do NOT like
her...him!”
The waitress came by to pick up the money and the empty parfait
glass. She patted Ryoga on the shoulder, “You aren’t fooling anybody, honey.
Would you like anything?”
“N...no. I’m going to leave.” Nodding at his own declaration, Ryoga got up and left the building.
Yes, it was definitely time to get lost.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Ukyo should have done something...but it all
happened so fast. She hadn’t even
considered the possibility that Ranma was at the clinic. She just thought Tofu
could help Shampoo somehow. That maybe there was a pressure point that
diminished sexuality or something. And when it happened...Ukyo had believed
Shampoo, but it hadn’t been real to
her until it was right in front of her. Her friendship to Shampoo was so new,
and already Ukyo felt like she had betrayed it. And so she ran after her and
Ranma. But they were so much faster. Both of them.
Ukyo heard the sound of shoes behind her, and
she glanced back. Nabiki was running too! Even in her short glance though, she
could tell Nabiki wasn’t fit enough to run even the distance she already had.
Ukyo fell back, allowing Nabiki to catch up.
“Why are you running?”
“Ranma...might kill...if...I...don’t... stop
him...Go back to Tofu’s...get help.”
“Sugar, you aren’t going to make another ten
feet, there’s no way you’ll catch up to them.”
“I’ll...catch up...you...go.”
Ukyo just ran beside Nabiki. To her surprise
the Tendo girl started picking up speed. “Nabiki, how-?”
“GO!” Nabiki waved her hand at Ukyo to go
back....or at least that was what Ukyo thought she was doing until she felt a
sharp burning pain. The chef slowed to a stop as she examined the four parallel
tears in the arm of her boy’s school uniform. She looked up at Nabiki who had
already gained an uncanny amount of ground. She was bounding on all fours,
catlike.
“This is fast becoming an epidemic,” Ukyo
remarked to herself. The statement didn’t begin to cover the strangeness of
seeing the Ice Queen run off like that though.
“Hey you!”
Ukyo turned to see a rather unkempt and
rotund man with curly black hair and a moustache standing outside the door of
the Hot Dog and Coffee. “Me?”
“Yeah. You wanna buy a hot dog?”
“No thanks, sugar,” Ukyo said, “I’m trying to
quit.” In Ukyo’s opinion, the worst thing a person could do with a piece of
meat was turn it into a hot dog.
“Heh heh.
Fine suit yourself. I just know that after I
see three teenagers run past me on all fours after each other, a nice, normal
hot dog sure sounds good.”
Ukyo had to admit she was tempted, but she
had somewhere she had to be. “Maybe some other time.
You’ve got an effective sales strategy there.”
The man shrugged. “Hey, this is Nerima.”
“That it is,” Ukyo agreed with a sigh. “Take
care.” And with that she ran back toward Tofu’s.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Nabiki wasn’t sure at first why she followed Ranma
out the torn down door of the Tofu clinic. It wasn’t something she would
normally do. Normally she’d acknowledge that Ukyo was the most qualified to
defuse the situation and make sure she was prepared for every foreseeable
eventuality. But something told her Ukyo
wouldn’t be able to fix this. That only she could.
She hadn’t done much aerobic exercise in the
decade or so since she stopped practicing the Art, and she felt it as she
pounded the ground with her feet after the others. In her mind though, she kept
seeing Genma at the mercy of invisible claws... Over and over like a sports
broadcast that was too enthused about its instant replay feature she saw the
image. And she remembered the power, the freedom...By the time Ukyo fell back
to talk to her, Nabiki was half-crazed from exhaustion and almost the rest of
the way crazed by something inside her telling her she could be faster, she
could be stronger...
Nabiki struggled desperately against this.
She recognized the voice inside her, felt it as the cool weight of a pistol in
her palm...it wasn’t any different than that. But unlike a pistol she couldn’t
throw this away, she could not renounce it like a bad habit and be done. It was
as much a part of her now as it had ever been for Ranma.
It wasn’t until she involuntarily scratched Ukyo’s arm though,
that Nabiki understood. She had power, whether she liked it or not. The only
thing she had any influence on was how she used it. She had to find some way to
control it and there was really only one way to learn.
Nabiki stopped resisting.
Immediately the world became a wash of
sounds, smells, sensations... the bloody sweet sweat tang of Shampoo’s menses
attacked her nostrils immediately. As she concentrated she could discern
Ranma’s pleasant musk. She heard Ukyo talk with somebody far behind her but the
words held no real meaning any more. She knew she was now running on all fours,
but found it so natural she wondered why she didn’t run that way all the time.
Then she wondered why she was running in the
first place when, even now, she was so close to utter exhaustion. So Ranma
wished to mate with the other female. What was the problem? It was her time,
was it not? Ranma could mate with Nabiki when it was her own time. It was
natural for the female to fight off the male at first. If she reached them
she’d only be interfering in what might be a happy copulation. But then she had
a thought...
Ranma, Shampoo and I have
human bodies.
Nabiki increased her speed, trying not to
notice her ugly, pink, hairless hands as they pushed away the concrete
underneath her...tried not to get frustrated at not being able to direct her
hearing with her atrophied stumps of ears. Ranma being human and one with honor, would not copulate with another if he had a litter by
Shampoo. If she let Ranma mate with Shampoo, she could lose him forever. Nabiki
would not let that happen.
Ranma was hers.
~~~~~*~~~~~
Kawagami Hiro knew he should have known
better. The girl was still in High School, and she was a reckless driver on top
of it. But he had fallen for her.
The way she moved on that bike, it was like
she was one with it! He helped save her life, and while at the time he was too
worried she might die to pay much attention, now he could not quite get the
feeling of her lips on his to go away, even as he sipped black java at the Hot
Dog and Coffee, remembering the image of her and that punk kid making out on
the couch of Tofu’s waiting room. The Hot Dog and Coffee was a favorite hang
out for cops, first because of the coffee, and secondly because you could see
all the girls coming out of the Sanjuuichi ice cream
shop across the street.
“Why so glum, chum?” asked Inamura Kentaro as he sat down
across the table from Hiro. He had an extremely well-kept goatee that, combined
with his oriental features, made one think simultaneously of Don Quixote and
Kublai Khan. He tended to have more Quixote than Khan in him most times. People
often wondered at how such an ebullient man could be a homicide detective, but
he was, and he had definite limits to his pleasantness.
“It’s this girl I gave a ticket to. Saved her life. She didn’t even thank me and she was banging
this punk...”
“Hiro, Hiro, Hiro...you’re like one of the women
in the self defense class! You keep trying to save these girls, trying to
change them but you can’t. You can’t ask a tiger to be a lamb.”
“This girl was different. She was
intelligent, I could tell...and there was something else...”
“There all different. They’re like
snowflakes, but Hiro,” Kentaro winked and glanced out at the Sanjuuichi meaningfully “They all taste the same on the
tongue.”
“Yeah, I know. I just thought going back to
being a traffic cop would keep me from having to deal with... women. And this
one hit me harder than the others.” Hiro sighed, “So you have any gruesome
murders to lift my spirits?”
“Heh. As a matter of fact... I was about to ask you to do me a
favor.”
Hiro had a good idea what it was, “You know,
contrary to popular belief, Kentaro, I don’t actually like giving people bad news.”
“But you’re so good at it!” Kentaro batted Hiro lightly on the side of the head.
Hiro was caught in a disturbing niche of
being one of the few cops that didn’t absolutely dread telling people their
friends or family members were dead. He wasn’t an especially morbid guy, far
from it. It was just that he’d rather someone hear it from him than a
pimple-faced rookie or a callous veteran of the force. He wouldn’t want cheery
bright-eyed Kentaro to do it; that was for sure. Hiro sighed, “Okay, so who is
it?”
“It’s a murder. A grisly
one at that. Not one of those nice induced heart attacks no siree.” Kentaro’s voice had taken
a slightly manic tone. This case had upset Kentaro more than usual. He was
venting. “This one all we got is a
maggot infested arm that fell out of a dumpster about
Hiro tried not to think of Nabiki hacked into
pieces. It was common knowledge troubled teens tended to have a short shelf
life. But Hiro had been a troubled teen not all that long ago and Kentaro’s humor hit a little too close to home.
The older cop continued, “She came by just
three days ago to get her motorcycle license renewal signed by a notary
public.” Kentaro’s face suddenly lost its brightness.
Hiro knew he was thinking about the murderer,
about catching the bastard, about how fucked the judicial system was that let
maniacs like that loose even after they were caught, about how it could have
been his own daughter that had been killed.
“Tomo Hoko, that’s the name of the victim.”
Kentaro took in a breath leaning back to gaze into the fluorescent light over
head, “Alas, poor Hoko,” he said and lowered his head to look at Hiro with
smile as natural as a skeleton’s and about as cheerful, “I knew her, Horatio.”
“Give me the address, and I’ll take care of
it.” Hiro said solemnly.
Kentaro handed him a copy of Hoko’s file. He
got up to leave and turned back, “I knew her.” He left then, and Hiro knew that
the man would be relentless in tracking the murderer down. Kentaro was in full
Kublai Khan mode now, and for him, the divine wind was
on his side.
Hiro looked at the address on the file and
shot to his feet. Tomo Hoko was Nabiki’s next door neighbor! He ran to see if
he could catch Kentaro, but he was distracted by someone turning up the volume
on a TV in the café. “Hey check it out!” the fat, curly-haired man said.
A four way intersection
blocked by a naked couple having sex. They seemed to be making high
pitched cat sounds. Hiro didn’t really think when he saw the image. He just
went out of the room, out of the building and onto his bike.
~~~~~*~~~~~
When Akane entered the building dressed in
her yellow gi and carrying a backpack on her back, a man in long, white robes
embraced her.
“SHAMPOO, MY LOVE!”
The Nekohanten,
Akane thought sardonically, they may not
know your name, but they’re always glad you came. Akane pried Mousse’s arms
from her torso as best she could, explaining, “I’m not Shampoo, Mousse.
Honestly!”
Just then, Akane noticed the TV mounted on
the wall...
“...Amazingly, instead of running over them, the first cars were blown
back by some form of energy. Police officers are having difficulty getting to
the scene owing to the sheer magnitude of the traffic jam the two love birds
have caused. This just in! The names of the exhibitionists are Saotome Ranma
and...CRASHsizzlepop”
Akane extricated
her mallet from the television only a little self conscious.
“Hey! We were watching that!” one of the
Nekohanten customers exclaimed.
Ignoring them, Akane turned to Mousse. “Is
Mousse put his glasses back onto his nose
from the top of his head. “I’ll take you to her.” Mousse led her to the back of
the restaurant, where
She turned and saw Akane. “Ah yes, Tendo
Akane!” She picked up her staff and hopped to the floor and then on to the top
of the staff balancing on its tip. “You’ve been through a lot today, child. Feel
free to let go of your pack and sit. May I ask where it is you’re going?”
Akane set her pack down and sat on it. Her
eyes were now level with the Amazon elder’s. “I’m going to a friend’s house for
the weekend. I need...distance.”
“Yes, I left a note telling them where I’ll
be and I plan on calling as soon as I get there.”
“Good. You’ll need as few distractions as
possible the next few days or so.”
“You have what I called about?”
“Forgive me, Cologne-sama,
but I thought you’d be more upset about that.”
“Phah, I was the
same as her back in my day. The truth is the Amazon culture can be a little
stifling. If you don’t rebel every now and then, you wither up and die.
Shampoo’s biggest fault was that she was too willing to follow orders. If she
had just stayed in
Akane couldn’t suppress a twitch in her
eyebrow but managed to stay calm. “So you think she’ll come back to you?”
“I know she’ll come back, child. Whether she
wants to or not. It’s her destiny.”
“Destiny? It can’t
be changed?”
“Some things cannot be changed, child. We all
grow old, we all die, the day inevitably darkens into
night. Other things...they are as mercurial as a flame in the wind. This thing with Nabiki for instance. You know I wasn’t
expecting it at all? And now it seems like it should have been obvious. But to
say that was destiny is an anthropomorphic fallacy. We try to make reality more
human, because we can deal with people; we know how they operate. If this
didn’t happen, if that didn’t happen...we start to wonder how it is that all
these things were set up. We start to think of it as the fates playing with us.
But the very nature of the word “if” should clue us in that there isn’t a plan.
You could just as easily be married to Ranma right now. So could Shampoo or
Ukyo or nearly anybody. A billion random events conspired against you. A
butterfly flapped its wings.”
“So I still don’t have any control.” Akane
said bitterly.
“Of course you have control! You are yourself
part of the world you live in! You can affect it just as surely as it can
affect you. You already do in fact, you just don’t realize it because you don’t
observe. Do you know what the most awesome power in all of
the universe is?”
“What?”
“The power of thyself
known. If you know absolutely everything there is to know about
yourself, then you can do almost anything given enough time. Case in point, if
you knew that you had been affected by the formula 110 shampoo earlier, you
would have gone to me or Tofu earlier and perhaps none of this mess would have
happened. But instead of being in control, you were controlled, and so in a
way, it’s all your fault.”
“I don’t see how I could have known...”
“But you did know. You knew the first day
that something was wrong, but you dismissed it. Of course, if everyone in the
world stopped dismissing things, the world would be a lot less interesting.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Akane sighed.
“Of course I am.”
Akane nodded.
“So, would you like to be an Amazon?”
“Yes. Yes, I would, Honored Elder.”
“But, Honored Elder?”
“Yes?”
“The cure?”
“I’ve already administered it. You’ll be back
to full capacity in just under three hours.”
Akane blinked. She hadn’t even seen the old
woman move! “Will I ever learn to be that fast?” she wondered out loud.
“You will learn many things. Your mind is
free now, and the chains it has worn have served to strengthen it. Just be sure
not to squander this opportunity.”
Akane nodded, smiling. She could feel it now,
like a fog slowly lifting from her mind. Like static she hadn’t even realized
was there fading into a clear picture. She didn’t need Ranma. If he and Nabiki
wanted to screw in a city street then that was their business. Akane was
finally through for real. Besides, Ranma didn’t deserve her. She was Tendo
Akane.
She was Amazon.
~~~~~[END]~~~~~
AN: In case you’re
wondering about the title and/or about Copycat’s inside joke, it all revolves
around knowing that “fetch” is another name for a doppelganger, or a creature
that mimics people and then kills them. I always planned on having Copycat Ken
in this fic. I wasn’t satisfied with the ending of the episode, and really
there’s no character that I know of with more of an identity crisis. Seeing as
he was able to turn himself into a perfect copy of Happosai, someone much
smaller than his normal form, I figure the blanket he uses is more than just
illusion.
Slowly but
surely the fic is approaching the main arc. Believe it or not, it actually
centers on Nodoka, and she should finally make an appearance in the next
chapter. Unless my idea monster rears its complicated head
again of course.
Many
thanks to Figment, Bastet’s
Feedback greatly
appreciated.
It gets weirder.