ways you know you're an obsessed Aero-fan:


10)You often correct Aero-relates articles and write nasty letters to the editors threatoning their life if they make the same mistake twice.
9)The names of your future children center only around Steven, Anthony, Joseph, Thomas, or Brad.
8)Your room has been designated a fire-hazard on account of the numerous piles of Aero-clippings and ticket stubs.
7)All your pets were named after Aero-songs.
6)4 out of 5 members have a restraining order on you...and your family.
5)You memorized every aspect of the Wizard of Oz after watching it 572,768 times consecutively.
4)You celebrate more on March 26th than you do on your own Birthday.
3)You never forgave your mother for not giving birth to you on March 26th.
2)You spent days programming your alarm, doorbell, beeper, and car alarm to play random Aero-tunes.
1)Every time you go shopping you come home with a cart full of Chiquita bananas.

ways to get noticed at an Aero-concert:


10)throw milk
9)paint yourself pink
8)wear your 'Gypsy Boots'
7)walk in with a monkey on your back
6)if you're a dude...look like a lady
5)spin 'Round and Round'
4)bring a pet rattlesnake and shake it at people.
3)proclaim loudly "I Love Trash!"
2)'Walk on Water'
1)just go naked...

Toys in Aerosmith's Attic:


10)'Pink' boas
9)Oscar the Grouch puppets
8)25ft piles of used Chiquita Banana stickers
7)Dueces from every card deck they ever owned
6)Train set that just keeps on-a-rollin'
5)saddles
4)9 stuffed cats
3)wax lips
2)Janie's water gun
1)rag dolls

Aero-Foods:


10)turkey...ON THE BONE!!!!
9)milk...preferably before it's thrown
8)Indian Cury
7)Rattlesnake (shaken, not stirred)
6)The Rich
5)'Pink' lemonade
4)white fish
3)(Addam's) apples
2)cheese cake
1)Chiquita bananas

questions frequently asked by non-fans:


10)they were around in the 70's?
9)isn't pink a girly color?
8)why did they cover that Run DMC song in the 80's?
7)they're the ones that made that Armageddon song, right?
6)Why doesn't the train just stop?
5)Aren't they too rich to be having rats in their cellars?
4)Which way do we walk?
3)The other side of what?
2)Is Joe a mute?
1)Are those really his lips?

Articles of Aero-clothing:


10)wings
9)leather
8)'Pink' boas
7)scarves
6)Rattlesnake cowboy boots
5)'Gypsy Boots'
4)'Spaced' suit
3) Shades (for that 'Bright Light Fright')
2)crown (too look like 'Kings and Queens')
1)kneepads (in case you fall in love)

Aero-Jobs


10)FARMer
9)Forest Ranger
8)Major (only applies to people named Barbara)
7)Spaced Man
6)Sharpshooter
5)Dog Walker
4)Kings and Queens
3)Voo Doo Medicine Man
2)Elevator Operator
1)Musician...duh...

ways you know you're WAY TOO obessed with Steven Tyler


10)You legally change your last name to Tyler
9)You've actually asked him if you could have his love child
8)You hold up signs that read "Steven Take My Virgin!" (watch Big Ones You Can Look At to get that one)
7)You frequently get collagen injected into your lips
6)You have a large Steven Shrine in the back of your closet
5)Your lisence plate reads: ILUVST
4)He has a restraining order on you
3)When he put a restraining order on you, you started bugging Neill from DTL instead
2) Neill has a restraining order on you too
1) You sent yourself to him for his birthday complete with a marriage proposal, honeymoon tickets, and a rather large dowry

Aero-pick up lines


10)Need a place to Crash?
9)Gimmie a Taste of India
8)Lets Make It
7)I've got What It Takes
6)Want a Lick and a Promise?
5)I've got a Big Ten Inch...record...
4)Let me be the Lord of Your Thighs
3)My Train Keeps a'Rollin all night long
2)Love Me Like a Bird Dog
1)I advocate for the freedom to wear whip cream as clothing...

Aero-rejection Lines


10)Do You See Me Crying? Can it get any clearer??
9)No More...NO MORE
8)You make me Sick As A Dog
7)JailBait???
6)Get a Grip!
5)Ain't That a Bitch?
4)You're a Monkey On My Back
3)You need an Attitude Adjustment
2)This is where I Draw The Line
1)DREAM ON!!!