Just Joken

A Poem for Those Over Thirty
A computer was something on TV
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

hi all here is a little wisdom for ya , giggle

I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

It was all so different before everything changed.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

When you're finally holding all the cards,
why does everyone else decide to play chess?

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

Wisdom

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"And what does that tell you?"

"Astronomically," Watson replied, "it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Sherlock?"

"Somebody stole our tent."

*** This forwarded to me by L Steiz ***

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know, it has never happened.

Q. Why are men like floor tiles?
A. If you lay 'em right the first time, you can walk on 'em for years.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A. They already have boyfriends

Q. What do you call a man with 1/2 a brain?
A. Gifted!

Q. What is the difference between a woman who is your wife and a woman who is your girlfriend?
A. About 45 lbs.

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Kilroy line came from the Toymaker