Gattaca - Yuppie Dystopia never looked so dull as it does in this 1997 film about planned parenthood gone way 'round the bend. June 1, 2 5:05AM, 3, 6, 9, 11, 15 4:35AM, 17, 19 5:05AM, 23 & 25, HBO

Pi - So, a flawless formula for playing the stock market might also be the means to unlocking the mysteries of the Torah and the key to the nature of the universe... Who knew? Of course, in order to perfect said formula, Max Cohen will have to outmaneuver deadly Wall Street sharks, bizarro Kabalistic Hasids, big time migraines and an apparently increasingly pissed-off God. What's a nice Jewish programmer to do? June 1, 2 3AM, 4, 14, 17, 22 & 25, SHO-B

28 Days Later - Just when you'd thought that the US had cornered the market on apocalypses, the UK releases an infectious little germ of its own. A catchy pandemic pic about viral zombies on the British Isles. It's not exactly George Romero, but it does illicit a chill or two as a tiny clutch of survivors try to make their way to safety past jogging hordes of plague-crazed, people-eatin' zomboid-types and testosterone-poisoned soldier boys. June 1, 6, 9, 11, 12, 14, 17, 22, 26 12:15AM, 28 5AM & 30, MAX

Judge Dredd - Bogglingly bad Stallone stinker inspired by the Brit comic book about a gun-totin' magistrate in a scorched earth future metropolis. If that hasn't scared you off, already, I offer the following three words: Co-starring Rob Schneider. June 1, 7, 13, 18 & 24, SHO & June 8, 12 1:20AM, 21, 22 12:50AM & 30, STZ

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome - One of the better flicks in the famous Aussie post-apocalypse series that shot Mel Gibson to stardom. It has some great visuals, a few really memorable scenes and a rockin' Tina Turner song to its credit. Unfortunately, it also has a clutch of clawingly "adorable" desert orphans to its debit. How that balances the viewer must decide. June 1 & 15 5:15AM, MAX

The Postman - This was Kevin Costner's first sad attempt to push the envelope of epic-length, post-apocalyptic, jingo-drenched Messiah myths. An ill-wrapped parcel of flag-wavin', heartstring-tuggin', speechifyin' Sunday School symbolism delivered by a Postal Christ. Watch, wonder and try to stay awake, as for three agonizingly long hours this monstrous package gets dumped in any number of dull and pointless scenes and set pieces before landing in the dead letter office. About as much fun as getting a paper cut licking stamps. June 2, 4, 6, 8, 11 2:20AM, 13, 16, 19, 22, 25, 28 & July 1 12AM, MAX

The Matrix Reloaded - Remember how great the first Matrix movie was? Well, invert that and you'll just about approximate how utterly dreadful its first sequel manages to be. A sadly incoherent and seemingly endless miasma of pseudo-spiritualism, ludicrous dialogue, numbingly repetitive action scenes, been-there-seen-that-got-the-bullet-time-hole-in-my-T-shirt CGI effects, and a stupefying lack of humor. The film's "highlight" is a freeway car chase that's about as exciting (and seems to take as long) as being stuck in rush-hour traffic on the 405. Were it not for a rather tasty Frenchman and a pair of deadly, but yummy, twins, I would recommend skipping this installment and moving straight to the (still inferior, but at least mildly entertaining) final chapter. June 2, 10, 18, 22 & 27, MAX

Them! - Ah, those 1950's nuclear nervous nellies! What would the movies have been without them? A lot less full of radioactive mutant teens and rampaging giant garden pests, that's for sure! So, just sit back and enjoy this classic tale of a lil' ant problem at a picnic that even a jumbo size can of Raid simply isn't going to cure. June 3 4:20AM, MAX

Fail-Safe - The classic 1964 Henry Fonda flick about a nuclear mishap of the very most unfortunate variety. Not to be confused with the confusing remake starring the cast members of ER, this chilling little bauble of the Cold War is still more than capable raising hairs up the spine. Well-worth the tune-in. June 3, AMC

MegaScience: Planets Time Bombs - The hills are alive...with a load of magma. Well, okay, not really hills. More like cones and calderas. But, whatever you wanna call 'em, Mama Earth is dotted with those bad volcanic babies like a big ol' mine field and humans seem to have this crazy habit of wanting to snuggle some of their larger cities right up next to them. This tends to make for some very sudden and unplanned bouts of urban renewal when they start doing the tick, tick, boom thang. June 3 & 4, DSC-SCI

Species - Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker, Marg Helgenberger...are not the names you expect to see listed in the credits of a grade Z monster movie. Yet, there they are, staring back at you like some strange puzzle. Daring the viewer to imagine what hoary and harrowing photos the producers must have had in their possession to blackmail the cast into being in this stupendous load of "Debbie Does Alien" debris. That's the single most compelling intellectual exercise "Species" will provide in its seemingly endless running time, most of which is spent giving the half-alien super vixen leading lady (who does not belong in the above company) as many chances as possible to get naked. June 3, 14 & 20, SHO-B & June 6, 19 12AM & 24, SHO

Damien: The Omen II - Diverting, but ultimately disappointing sequel to the '76 original. This time 'round, the now-adolescent spawn of Satan and his merry minions are spreading death and destruction from the nexus of a chi-chi military academy. Same formula, more gore, higher body count, less chills. June 4 1:15AM, AMC

UFO Files: Ancient Aliens - The spirit of Eric Von Daniken (who isn't actually dead if you count from the neck down) lives on in this goofy look at civilizations past through the prism of crystal-clutching alien astronaut obsession. June 4, HIS

Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines - A better title would be "Interminable Blather: Rip-Offs of Old Scenes", as the movie is one long retread of the plot arc, big action set pieces and painfully "quirky cyber-humor" bits from T's 1 and 2. Lacking the saving graces of either Linda Hamilton or director James Cameron, the flick quickly descends into a cuisinarted blur of big explosions and decade+ old CGI effects, then stays there for its entire running time. And Ahhhnold, who has never looked more stun-gunned, (perhaps he was too busy writing campaign slogans in his trailer to look at the script?) wastes two hours squaring off against a cyborg adversary about as threatening as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Worth viewing for obsessive Terminator fans and insomniacs, only. June 4, 5, 7, 12, 16, 18, 20, 23, 26 & 29, MAX

The Prophecy - The first in the series of "Prophecy" flicks, with Chris Walken typically and delightfully off-the-charts as the grudge-prone Gabriel. June 4, 15 & 26, ACT

UFO Files: Crop Circle Controversy - About the only controversial point worth bringing up in this show is why the History Channel would waste the broadcast space to air it. Surely there was a perfectly good (and equally believable) miracle diet pill or hair replacement Infomercial they could have slotted in, instead? June 5, HIS

UFOs vs. The Government - Gotta love the paranoid title, alone, don'cha? The History Channel continues its day-long trash-wallow into the wunnerful world o' alien whack-out with this pea-brained piffle pitting an International tag team of tin-hatted delusionals against a crew of skeptical party-poopers. Ten guesses who the producers skew the show to favor. June 5, HIS

UFOs: Testing The Evidence - If your idea of "evidence" are the dippy dribblings of a gaggle of religious cranks, both ancient and freshly butterfly-netted, your cup will simply overfloweth with a tune-in to this glassy-eyed promo for space cookie crackpottery. June 5, HIS

History's Mysteries: Alien Hunters - The History Channel launches into a day-long marathon of ET-jeebees with this magical mystery tour of "alienation" through the ages, which eventually moseys into the modern age, blithely shoehorning antique fairytales to fit recent astronomical discoveries. June 5, HIS

UFOs: Then And Now? The Innocent Years - Well, grab your tin foil hats and your super-deluxe bags of air-popped (wouldn't want to risk exposure to those deadly, alien microwaves, now, would we?) popcorn, boys and girls! 'Cuz the History Channel ET-credulity-o-thon really hits its stride as it marches into its fifth solid hour devoted to all things closely encountered...or even distantly encountered...or even never encountered at all, but just kind'a heard about from some guy who knew somebody...'Cuz, y'know, of course, nobody's ever really gonna see anything on account of The Conspiracy. June 5 , HIS

Secret UFO Files - The History Channel does the panderama polka into the heart of CIA/alien conspiracy la-la land. June 5 , HIS

Demolition Man - Wesley Snipes with a blonde buzz cut! Sylvester Stallone in way too tight pants! Sandra Bullock wasting her talents again! Oh, yeah, and there's a story in there, somewhere, about a psycho loose in a dystopian future "San Angeles" and cryo prisons and a subterranean peasant class. But, mostly it's just a chance for the leads to indulge in two hours of gun play and one liners. You know the drill. June 5, 17 & 18, ACT

The Dead Zone - Christopher Walken puts his patented hollow-eyed, scary glower to its best effect as the post-comatose psychic-to-the-schmoes, Johnny Smith. Once a teacher with a nice life and a loving fiancé, a close encounter with an 18 wheeler planted Johnny in a med center's produce section for five long years. Upon waking, he's found his job gone, his fiancé married off and his life in ruins. But, hey, in exchange he's got a shiny new power to reach out and touch someone's...anyone's impending doom! Johnny is far less comfy with his new disaster-forecaster gig than his later, slicker TV counterpart. So, the very last thing he needs to perk up his decade is a sneak peek at the apocalypse via Martin Sheen's slimebag congressman. Decidedly one of the better Stephen King cinematic transplants. *Trivia alert: An amusing note, since the story's about predicting the future and all, is seeing Walken exhort his students to read "Sleepy Hollow" and hearing Sheen frothily insist that he's going to be president one day. June 6 & 30, MAX

Omen IV - The Awakening - The last and silliest in the series of Antichrist extravaganzas. June 7 1:25AM, 9, 11 3:05AM, 17, 26 & 29 5:40AM, HBO

MegaScience: Return Of The Plagues - Faster than a speeding quarantine! More powerful than a super-antibiotic! Able to leap whole species at a single bound! It's a bird! It's a plane! No!...It's Superbug!!! And according to this Discovery opus, a whole legion of these drug-immune nasties are bubbling up around us even now. Can science find an effective new way to stave off mass disaster? Or will the big pick-up line of the future be, "Hey baby, what's your symptoms?" June 8 & 9, DSC-SCI

The Manhattan Project - Little Paulie Stephens entry in this year's High School Science Fair is gonna be da' bomb!...No, really! Da' nuclear bomb. Made with blossom-fresh, new plutonium ripped off from the local top secret military lab...Which Paul's mommy's boyfriend (played by a piteously stranded-looking John Lithgow) just happens to work at. Naturally, much atomically-inspired, paranoid government vs. precocious teens, brink-o-world war wackiness ensues. No real wit and not a jot of logic. But wackiness...Lots and lots o' wackiness. June 9, MAX

Ancient Almanac: Satan: Prince Of Darkness - Personally, I think this would have been a lot more fun as a celebrity exposé on the Biography Channel. Y'know, with scads of juicy gossip and interviews with faded celebs who want to grab another fifteen minutes to say, "I knew him when..." and rare photos and home movies from his childhood, back when he was Daddy's favorite. I mean, as long as you're going to do profiles of imaginary beings, that would have been a profile worth tuning in for! Instead, we get a mainly dreary retelling of Biblical myth spiced with spoonfuls of unintentionally amusing superstition-soaked dread. Ho and hum, darlings. Been there, done that, got the Satanic bar code. June 10, HIS-INT

UFOs: What You Didn't Know - ...Because it's all being covered up by The Great Cabal of Eeeviiil Government Conspiracists bent on keeping the Truth about the imminent alien threat from honest folk like you and me!!!!...Unless, of course, you tune in to this show being broadcast coast-to-coast on a popular cable channel where they'll tell you all about this deep, dark, secret stuff, right out in public, in three excruciatingly idiotic parts, without anybody bothering them in the least. Now, that I think about it, though, it's oddly comforting to learn that the Great Evil Cabal operates as efficiently as any other government department. Part 1 June 11 & 12 3AM, HIS

The Last Man On Planet Earth - Desperately silly - in fact, just desperate - TV movie about a ladies-only post-plague society disrupted by a genetically engineered Playgirl centerfold boy-toy coyly dubbed "Adam". Amusing for all the worst possible reasons. (Note: Don't confuse this with the similarly titled Vincent Price pic, "The Last Man On Earth") June 12, SCI-FI

The Search For Noah's Ark - The History Channel fritters an hour and many of their viewers brain cells away with this pointless global trot to find the magical, mythical float-a-zoo. June 12, HIS

Prophecy II - The second installment in a series about the work-related anxiety issues of another one of God's disgruntled employees. Christopher Walken is, as always, entertainingly unhinged as the apocalyptically stressed out seraph, Gabriel. June 12 12:25AM & 22, SHO

Twelve Monkeys - Terry Gilliam proves his genius once again. Not only by gracing the world with this mind-bending time-travel trip to find the viral source of an apocalyptic plague. But also, by pulling credible performances out of Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt! June 16, SCI-FI

Mad Max - The truth? It's little more than a glorified biker flick. Still, it does have that "world gone awry" thing going for it...To say nothing of a young Mel Gibson in leather...And it did spawn the infinitely superior "Road Warrior" and "Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome". Worth watching, if only for background's sake. June 17 & 21 12:20AM, AMC

Millennium - Cinemax serves up a hearty lil' pre-millennial cheese tray with one of the most deliriously awful Doomsday movies ever made, starring former Charlie's Angel, Cheryl Ladd in lots and lots of spandex and lamé. June 22, MAX

Night Of The Living Dead - So, maybe having the dead rise again isn't such a good idea, after all. At least, that's the view of a rag-tag gang of folks holding up in an old farmhouse against an invading horde of brain-munching zombies. A B&W indie genre classic that's still good for a late nite scare. June 24 12:45AM, IFC

MegaScience: War 2020 - War! What is it good for?...About 43 minutes of junior punditry plus commercial breaks in this case. Take a little spin twenty years up the chronological block to take a look at that favorite pastime of the testosterone-addled, "The Modern War". Will it be a star warrior's high tech field o' dreams or a hacker's fondest nightmare? A Strangelovian nuke-fest or an unstoppable plague on all our houses? Will the final assault come in the form of an Orwellian stranglehold on all news and information or even satellite-beamed, electro-pulsed mind control?...That is, "fair and balanced" mind control, of course. June 28, DSC-SCI

If We Had No Moon - No, it isn't just for flag-plantin' and miniature golf games, anymore. Take a "what-if" look at terra firma sans its lunar companion, and sneak a peak at the unfortunate future date when it does bid Earth a final farewell. June 28 & 29, DSC-SCI

MegaScience: Fast Frozen Future - The whole MegaScience series is pretty much a "science for dummies" affair and this installment marks no stunning break from the usual pattern. Still, if you were wondering whether you could weather the weather, whithersoever by degrees it wavered, this show will walk you through the basic elements. Particularly, as the title suggests, those leaning toward the refrigerated section. June 29, DSC-SCI