Speech The Speech Wizard

A few years ago, at a District 10, dinner meeting, another Toastmaster spoke of a fictional "Speech Wizard." I enjoyed this speech, but do not remember the speaker's name. The following is a summary of the speech, from memory. If somebody remembers this same speech and knows who the speaker was, please

at aschubach@hotmail.com

Our speaker tells of getting a new software package in the mail, a fancy speech-writing program. Being a dedicated Toastmaster, he was thrilled and right away, set about, learning how to use it. What wonderful things this program did! (He goes on, to tell us, about all the wonderful features.) His speech-writing improved, as did his delivery and he was thrilled!

(The speaker went on for a while, in this vein, being very "impressed" by all the progress he could make.) He could also simulate a Toastmasters meeting and practice all his Toastmasters skills. Well, that was all well and good, until ...

One night, unable to sleep, he went downstairs in the middle of the night and what should he see, but his computer turned on and his program operating!! It was in the middle of a meeting. His computer had dialed up other computers and they were holding a virtual Toastmasters meeting. Awestruck, our narrator stood and watched.

This was the perfect, mistake-free Toastmasters meeting, one he had always visualized ... a meeting so perfect, it could only have been conducted by a "club," consisting only of computers. A dream come true ...

There was no Timer. Who would need one, when all speakers kept "perfect" time. Exactly 2 minutes for a Table Topic, exactly 5 minutes for a 5-minute speech ... No Grammarian or Ah Counter, for none was needed, there were no mistakes! ... And, of course, no General Evaluator or Speech Evaluator ... how can you "evaluate" a perfect performance? ... Nothing but one perfect speech after another, flawlessly written and executed. And a meeting with no errors, each participant passing control from one to the other.

As he watched, our speaker's awe and admiration started to turn to dismay, as he realized what was bothering him. He belonged to Toastmasters, so that he could learn. At this virtual meeting, there was no learning. This was not a "true" Toastmasters meeting. In disgust, he disabled his program and then destroyed it.

The purpose of Toastmasters, he realized, is not to become a perfect speaker and member, but to continuously strive to improve.