Old Faithful

or Fidelity - It's Not Just For Stereos Anymore

    Vow: 1. An earnest promise to perform a specified act or behave in a certain manner, especially a solemn promise to live and act in accordance with the rules of a religious order:

2. To promise solemnly; to pledge:

    Looking at the above definition, perhaps you have a greater understanding of why weddings contain marriage "vows" and not marriage "deals", or marriage "bargains". When you marry someone, you are pledging an oath to them, that you will be faithful to them for the rest of your days. That's forever. Not until you get bored, or until you have your first big fight, or until the first hot bimbo happens to become an intern at your workplace.

    So what is it with marital fidelity these days? Why is it that so many people view marriage as a convenience instead of a lifelong pact? How is it that so many people enter into it with the idea that "hey, this is fun, but if it ever gets to be not fun for more than five minutes, I'll just cancel this one and get a new one"? Where did the idea come from that a spouse is a disposable commodity?   How is it so many people believe that a spouse is more of a live-in security blanket, while they have the right to go out and boink anyone else they please? I'm asking, here. I don't have these answers. I've never knowingly cheated on anyone. I'm not going to make guesses at it, either. I can't blame it on the loose morals on television, because if you're that influenced by what you see on TV, then you've got bigger problems, partner. I can't go with the "everyone else does it, so it must be okay" theory, because if you're that spineless that you can't think for yourself, then you've got even bigger problems. So why is it? I'd ask that chronic cheaters write to me and tell me why they do this, but then, if a person is willing to lie to God, and lie to their spouse, how could I ever possibly believe a word they say to me, a stranger?

    So since I'm really unable to venture a guess as to what causes idiots to think it's okay to piss all over their marriage vows, I'll just hop on my highest soapbox yet, and tell you what I think about fidelity. I believe marital vows are the single most important promise you'll ever make in your life. If you can't keep that promise, what promise can you keep? I believe that you are obligated to attempt to work through problems. I think it should be mandatory that people have marriage counseling before they ever get their license. They need to be made aware that it is not all peaches and cream. There are going to be days when you fight. There will be days when you frankly do not even like your spouse much. But your vow says "in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer", and also implies "even on days I may not be your biggest fan". You must work through those things. I believe that fully consumated marital infidelity should be grounds not only for divorce, but for the victimized spouse to take everything you own. Everything. You promised them you were going to be theirs and theirs alone to have and to hold... since you fell through on that part of the bargain, then as compensation, they get all your worldly possesions. Maybe your concubine can support you, huh?

    Okay, okay, I understand that "it takes two to tango". There has to be a partner in this infidelity. And what of those partners? How stupid can a person be? How can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say "I trust this person"? You are sleeping with someone who was obviously willing and quite able to lie to God and their spouse, and you are so absolutely ignorant as to believe they'll be honest with you? If so, then in my opinion, you deserve all the heartache you're walking in to. You'll get no sympathy from me. Now, in a case where you have been lied to, where your partner is married, and you were not aware of that fact, the circumstances are different, obviously. But if, once you find out the truth, you don't break it off immediately, we're back to the first conditions. How stupid can you be?

    Look, I understand there are bad marriages. I know that people change. I do not think divorce should be illegal or anything of that nature. In fact, as you may have gathered from reading above, in cases of infidelity, I believe the divorce should be granted immediately and unconditionally in favor of the cheated party, and again, all the cheaters worldly possessions should be transferred to the cheated party. That applies to spousal or child abuse as well. But in cases of a just plain bad marriage with no infideilty or abuse , divorce should be an option - as a very last resort. It should be much, much more difficult (note: NOT more expensive) to get one. Perhaps if people know once they get married, they're going to be there for awhile, and have a damned hard time getting out of it if they just get bored, they'll think twice about getting hitched just for the thrill of it.

    That, then, is my opinion of marital infidelity. Have a different opinion? Care to even try to justify infidelity to me? Feel free to contact me by either going to the survey page, or clicking on the e-mail icon below.