PART 1 - Banned from Al-Anon
So far this website has sometimes reflected the bitterness I feel, sometimes it has been humorous, but the main reason for the existence of this site is that I have been banned from Al-Anon.
Banned from Al-Anon?
Yes, you can be banned from Al-Anon. I did not realise that when I made a decision to attend Al-Anon. There had been alcoholism in my family, and although the alcoholic in my life had been sober a number of years, I had still been affected but at the time did not realise: (1) in what way I had been affected; and (2) what I could do to recover from the effects.
I saw a poster advertising Al-Anon and based on that advertisement I made a decision to attend Al-Anon. I have since learned that the advertising was false and misleading.
Yes, I've said it WSO. Your advertising is false and misleading. Go ahead and sue if you like because you can't argue with the truth, and what I have written is true!
Anyway, according to the advertising the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. All the promotional literature contains statements (ad nauseam) about how caring and supportive the fellowship is but that has not been my experience. In the course of this Concept V appeal I wish to discuss the background to how this extremely serious situation happened which led to my being banned from Al-Anon. I will almost certainly be referring to the lying Al-Anon staff, but more on that later...
Before I begin, I would also like to state that sharings from closed Al-Anon meetings will feature in this Concept V Appeal. I feel that this is necessary in order to provide the reader with a full understanding of all that happened.
In Al-Anon there is usually a tradition of "what you hear here, who you see hear, when you leave here, let it stay here". However, that tradition was broken in my case as Al-Anon members discussed my sharing at a closed Al-Anon meeting and inevitably it became distorted, included it in a letter circulated to other groups, and this led to my banning. Therefore, it is necessary for me to tell the truth and say what really happened.
However, I will respect anonymity and would like to state that:-
(1) no Al-Anon member's name will be used in this Concept V Appeal
(2) no sharing will be disclosed which will lead to the identification of an Al-Anon member, thereby breaking their anonymity
Under the circumstances this is fair and just.
Now, the Concept V Appeal begins...
It all began in August 1999 - that was when the real trouble happened.
I attended an AA Convention with Al-Anon participation. I had just finished reading "Lois Remembers" which had been leant to me by the Office Manager from the local Al-Anon Information Centre. It was a copy of the original 1979 edition and contained a handwritten note inside which stated "out of print - no longer available for purchase". At the time I thought that was strange, given that it was the autobiography of Lois Wilson, the much-loved co-founder of Al-Anon and was puzzled as to why WSO would stop printing it. I later found out why WSO suppressed the book. By the way, it is back in print again and it is also CAL (Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature) ie you can read it out at Al-Anon meetings and the Al-Anon police can't object.
Anyway, I had found "Lois Remembers" to be very upsetting reading, and discovered that Lois had littered it with deliberate mistakes. For example, she states that Anne Smith, the wife of Dr Bob (co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous) had died in 1948, three years before Al-Anon was founded. THAT WAS WRONG. I mean, it is Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. That date would have been checked. It would never have been allowed to slip through. Anne Smith died in 1949, two years before Al-Anon was founded. Dr Bob died in 1950, one year before Al-Anon was founded. They were both dead before the AA schism occurred. Al-Anon was Bill's idea.
Anyway, there were other deliberate mistakes in the autobiography but for me the most harrowing occurred on page 8 as it dredged up a very painful memory.
Lois recounted an event which happened to her sister.
[To be continued...]