PART 15 - Al-Anon Members burn the Area Delegate's Car and Phone to say "Did you get the message?"
In order to set the scene for what happened at the Regional Service Seminar I feel I must also share another sordid incident in this obscene saga. I've said it before, but somehow typing out everything which has happened has been something of a purging experience. I have been able to unburden myself of all the pent-up feelings and frustrations which have been caused by Al-Anon these past two years.
I've also logged onto some of the Al-Anon chatrooms and these have been useful in helping me to regain some perspective. I no longer expect other Al-Anon members to say "Hold on a minute those groups have broken The Twelve Traditions! Why doesn't GSO or WSO do something about it?" Instead I am now used to the usual sick, irrational responses of "You must have done something really bad. You brought it all on yourself. Let's everybody else in the chatroom ignore that disturbed person" etc etc etc.
I no longer expect a sane, rational reaction from what are ultimately sick and irrational people. In order to apply The Twelve Traditions properly one has to be rational but I now realise that most Al-Anon members are irrational. AA members place great emphasis on The Twelve Traditions because they know they are the only protection they have against the disease and anarchy, and ultimately death. Al-Anon members ultimately never do the first half of the first step correctly - they never admit that they are powerless over alcohol and therefore look on The Twelve Traditions disdainfully and dismiss them as "merely guidelines". They will usually comment condescendingly that "oh, there are no rules in Al-Anon" and they are a law unto themselves. If there are no traditions, there are no guiding principles and you are left with a bunch of sick, irrational people getting sicker and progressively more irrational. I can see that now. You can't see till you can see.
It is interesting the more experience I have with Al-Anon how different it is from the expensive, glossy, promotional advertising. One of the main reasons for the existence of this website was to make other potential members aware of what Al-Anon was like to prevent them having to go through the needless emotional pain I went through.
An incident which I heard about Al-Anon in my local district shed further light on exactly the type of sick people I was dealing with. At one of the Al-Anon groups I eventually managed to attend I was chatting with a member after one of the meetings. It is customary in Al-Anon for members to exchange gossip after meetings.
I was quietly sipping my tea and chatting with the other member about the Area Delegate. As I mentioned previously, she is about the only Al-Anon representative who has tried to make any effort to resolve the situation.
The member knew about the appalling treatment meted out to me by the Al-Anon members in the local district.
"Of course, it was terrible what those members did to her," commented the other Al-Anon member.
My ears pricked up. "Really?", I murmured. "Why, what happened?" I continued to casually sip my tea and listened very intently as she spilled the beans.
The previous Area Delegate has been a rather lazy, pampered, spoiled woman (a trait I have noticed in a few Al-Anon members) and apparently as she was due to retire for her post there was some competition for her replacement. There had been something of a power struggle between a few interested parties. The current Area Delegate was the one most likely to win the vote and some other members were quite annoyed about that.
One evening, the current Area Delegate was being dropped off at an Al-Anon meeting by her AA husband. He left the car and accompanied her to the building. On his return, the car was ablaze. The next morning the current Area Delegate received a telephone call from another Al-Anon member who simply said "Did you get the message?" before hanging up.
The Al-Anon member telling me this said "It was terrible that they burnt her husband's car just because of the Area Delegate post."
I sat there not sure I could believe what I was hearing, but somehow it had the ring of truth about it. I discussed this subsequently with other Al-Anon representatives and the Area Delegate herself, and although I did not receive a denial they did not want to talk about it and were clearly embarrassed.
Many people who have read my Concept V appeal on the internet, or Al-Anon members I have told about what happened to me (eg being physically assaulted at the Al-Anon meeting) have accused me of being a liar. It doesn't bother me that they are so heavily in denial that they are not prepared to accept the reality of the situation, acknowledge that it exists and actually do something about it instead of detaching with neglect.
Having heard that appalling incident involving the burning of the Area Delegate's car I should have expected the appalling treatment I received at the Al-Anon Regional Service Seminar ...