| If you are embarrassed by discussions involving the word "sex" then you might as well just leave this page. Nothing here is nasty or too detailed. Not my style- so don't worry about that. I assure you that as long as you can handle an adult conversation, you'll be fine with reading this page. I've been asked by many..."What do you think about sex magick?" My initial response usually is, I don't think about it. I mean, I haven't often considered incorporating sex into my practise and never had the desire to experiment in that area, so I just don't think about it. To be honest with you, one of two reasons I decided to write up this page is to sort out my own opinions on sex magick. Everything you see in yellow below is mainly my ranting and personal opinions. The words I highlighted in red are basic principles and learned knowledge about sex magick. As I'm not experienced in this area, most of what I offer here are my personal thoughts. Oh, I've read some things about sex and magick- about people having sex in circles with other members of covens or traditional groups, about tantric sex, etc. I've heard others discuss and have read about the basics of some forms of sex magick. However, it's really not my thing, and for me, some aspects of sex magick are unethical (for my life, not unethical in general for all). Call me old-fashioned, I don't care. Just to give you an explanation of what this is all about- I'm referring mainly to sex as performed by one or more people to raise energy for the purpose of a spell or other ritual, for the purpose of celebration, or for other "religious" or magickal rites. Some Pagans feel that sex is a powerful tool, or is the most powerful tool that can be incorporated into magickal practise. Some Pagans believe sex magick can be performed symbolically to celebrate the "bodies" of the god and goddess, the bodies of man and woman, or can be performed to unite two or more people. Sex is considered to be a gift of pleasure from the god and goddess. You may not be aware of this, but many of the tools Pagans use in their practises are symbols of sexuality in some form. A ritual knife is obviously a phallic symbol. The cups, horns, or chalices used to hold ritual wine are all feminine symbols- shaped like a vessel. And the cauldron is a representation of the womb of the goddess to most Pagans who use one. No, not all ritual tools are sexual in nature, but some are. If you are aware of the Celtic celebration "Beltaine," you probably know that it was a sexually charged celebration in ancient times, and for some it still is. You might also notice that many Pagans celebrate the "union of the goddess and god," in many different ways. There are many references to sex in most Pagan traditions. So, back to the original question: what are my thoughts on sex magick? I have to say that I'm not comfortable with it (for the most part). I especially can't imagine ever having sex with several people for the purpose of raising energy or celebrating the god and goddess, etc.- that's just not me. I'm not going to pretend I'm ashamed and don't like sex- on the contrary. Yes, I enjoy sex- I can't live without it (kidding, sort of). But, like I said before, I'm slightly old-fashioned in this particular area. Sex is a bit more personally venerable to me- by that I mean, it's something I share only with the individual I'm romantically involved with. I don't feel it's something to be shared with just anyone- no matter what the situation (my opinion). Sex magick involving only me and the person I'm currently dating certainly would be an incredible experience. He is not a Pagan but I'm sure he'd be up for it (hehheh). Heck, who wouldn't be up for an intense sexual experience? But to tell you the truth, I'm not even that interested in it- sex yes, sex magick, no. I'm just not too keen on using sex as a tool for a magickal purpose or ritual celebration of the god and goddess, etc. Solo, Duet, or Group Effort? There are several different types of sex magick- monofocal, duofocal, and polyfocal. I think you can figure out what the meaning of each type is- considering that mono refers to "one," duo refers to "two," and poly refers to "many." I mainly have difficulty being comfortable with the idea of polyfocal sex magick. Several people being involved just doesn't sound "right" for me (that is, me, not everybody). I realize most magickal practitioners are careful who they perform with, and the act is carefully thought over, and carefully performed. But the group thing is not for me- in any situation. I'm just not that liberal with my sexuality. Yeah, I enjoy being "sexy" and love being around men I find to be sexy and all. But I'm not that liberal with sex itself. Now, concerning monofocal sex magick- hmmm. I don't have a whole lot of experience with the solo stuff, I guess you could say. So monofocal sex magick isn't all that interesting to me. I'm sure it can be quite fulfilling and powerful, but not for me at this point in my life. From what I've read and heard other say, with monofocal sex magick, a symbol is often used to help raise energy or for aid in focus. Anything from the awareness of the moon phase, candles, sigils, menstrual blood (call me immature, but that just makes me cringe), chalices, knives, athames, etc., can all be used and are used for different purposes by different people. Visualization and focus are important, as with any spell or ritual. Duofocal sex magick is what I would be most likely to be comfortable with- more along the lines of tantric sex with my partner. Maybe one day. But, I am very certain that performing with others present would never be within my practise. Two people can raise energy by having and maintaining eye contact, rhythmic breathing or stroking, synchronized motion, synchronized chanting, etc. A tool might be used for casting a circle, candles can be used to aid in directing energy, incense or herbs to enhance the mood or direct energy, and anything else a person incorporates into his/her practise can be used within a ritual involving sex. You Can Never Be Too Careful The following is informtion I've thought over myself, and some is information I have heard others mention. Ultimately, I think it's all pretty good advice. If any of you are interested in sex magick and considering incorporating it into your practise (especially when involving others), please be careful. Not only should you be safe- as safe as sexual protection allows, which really is not that safe in my opinion- but be safe about your feelings as well. Will you be able to perform with one person or several people and honestly be comfortable with it? Do you know you will not feel ashamed afterwards, or is that a possiblility? If it is possible, maybe you are not honestly as comfortable with sex magick as you think. There is nothing wrong with that. I've been a Pagan for about 10 years now and I am still not sexually liberal to the point of being comfortable (ethically comfortable) with most forms of sex magick. Also, can you be with someone sexually and stay focused on the true purpose of the ritual? Sex magick within most religious and magickal groups is not intended to be "sleazy" or like being in a porno flick. So, if you are just looking to to get off on some group sex, I'd suggest doing that on your own time and not pretending to want to be involved in a sexually charged magickal rite with others. Can you be with someone sexually and not get romantically attached to them? If you don't know for sure, maybe you should explore your feelings a bit more before jumping into sex magick. That is, unless you plan to be with only your partner, then go for it- romance is already involved. Do you know for a fact that the other person, or people involved are consenting adults? Do you know them well enough to be intimately involved for a sex ritual? I'd be checking for disease, too, if I were you. Make sure you are comfortable enough with them to know they are not lying when they say, "No way, I've never had a disease." Also, think about asking if the others have partners who are consenting. Does the guy friend you are going to be sexually involved with for a ritual have a wife at home, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend? Is the girl you are going to be involved with for this ritual married or does she have a partner of some kind? If yes, are these spouses or partners going to be present, are they okay with the situation? Is your partner or spouse okay with it? This, of course, is one area where my personal ethics say, "that's just not right." But, some are okay with this type of practise. What kind of background does your intended partner for the ritual have? Is he or she a pervert of some kind? I'm not being silly either. Know for sure, don't just make assumptions based on, "He's always been cool" or, "He's a friend so I know he's okay." Look a little deeper and don't be superficial about the situation. You should be careful with yourself because you are going to be quite vulnerable when in an intimate situation. You guys, too, not just you women out there. I realize you might think, what idiot wouldn't already know to consider those things? But you would be surprised. When I think of some of the e-mails I get and questions I get from friends, I know there are people out there who need a little direction with sex magick. I have heard from some immature people and some real morons. People who aren't even smart enough to consider the ages of others involved in potential rituals, and women considering sex magick with men they just met within a coven. How naive is that? Just remember that sex isn't just a powerful magickal tool. It's a powerful psychological tool as well. It can enhance your life, make it more pleasurable and fulfilling, or it can destroy you. The Freaks Come Out at Night- and Sometimes in the Day The other reason I got to thinking on this subject....I had an incident recently. I thought I might share it with you. I have a hard time keeping stories short, so bear with me: I'm currently working in New York City and New Jersey and someone off the street asked me about sex magick. He is just someone who ran into my client and me while on our morning run, and we have bumped into him a couple times since. We actually joked that he was stalking us. Out of the blue, he asked about my feelings on the Kama Sutra and sex rituals while my client was ordering us a drink in a coffee shop. I don't even know the guy. I basically said it was none of his damn business and he backed off a moment. We asked him to leave us be, and he seemed respectful of that. But we saw him again and he said that I was the nicest girl he had met (strange, considering we told him to get lost the day before), and he needed someone to help him with a sex ritual. I just said, "Get off me," and my client, who is also my current "romantic" interest, intervened and solved the problem for me, as you can imagine. But this was still a bit scary. I realize there are some cracked out people in the world, but having direct contact with them is still a bit uncomfortable. I also realize this is a freak situation, but if that guy is out there, more are out there. Be careful! I wrote this page to help you out if you are interested in this type of magick. I have no problem sharing my knowledge (mostly book knowledge and what I've learned from others) and sharing a some of my personal feelings with you. I know I'm a little goofy with some of my feelings, but that just is a result of having mostly male friends and acquaintances I suppose. Lots of jokes and silliness- I'm sure you understand. But ultimately, I'm an adult and can handle the discussion, so I hope you can too. We are all different in our thoughts on sex, and as long as your actions don't hurt others involved- and as long as you look out for number one- then I think you'll be okay. HOME NEXT Satanism |
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