Haiku's R Us

Ok these are some Haikus that El Kunto and I wrote many years ago when i was still being French Xavier in our fanzine What Drugs Are You On? In case you were wondering we had to have fake names as Scott once drew a picture of our english teacher whipping people in our class whilst dressed in bondage and we were already thought of as being freaks so you know. Um El kuntos shall be umm black and fergus ones shall be red ok? As you can tell I am not so good at haiku but i feel it is Mr Mgraths fault for making me read out Haiku poetry at assembly and act it out with a white mask do you remember that Scott?

Jesus is funny
always wearing a dress
no one calls him gay

John Squire is so good
he plays guitar quite spiffy
i heart him madly

Fergus Noodle is
the spunkiest whirl-i-gig
to walk the planet

hey hey hey hey hey
El Kunto is a stoool
yeah yeah pretty cool

How rude is that hey?
I say nice things about Fergus
she says i'm poo

Not that sort of stool
ooh oh you sexy love muffin
to poke you madly

If i was bendy
and really quite flexible
i could lick my bum

Don't lick any cows
you don't know very well
oh you horny boar

Fergus is donkey mad
always going on about licking
and poking her beast

wow far out man
i am not in Can you know
i'm talking about the band

Posh Spice is so fab
she is secretly a goth
that's my theory, man