Chinese 101
Chinese Tutorial
For those people who are challendged with the task of communicating with the
Chinese FOBs of the opposite sex, whom with which they would like to get a
little more intimate with, here is a brief tutorial and a prediction of the side
effects from certain lines. These lines are separated into 4 levels in which
progressing through them out of order can easily lead to a slap by a
conservative girl or a one night stand by a wild one.
Level 1 - Greetings!
Phrase: Ni hao!
Meaning: Hello!
Literal translation: You good!
Notes - You'd think that "hello" is used that often, but it's not. It's mostly used
by kids to elders.
Phrase: Wan An!
Meaning: Good night!
Literal translation: Late safe!
Notes - As priceless as the look on her face is and no matter how soft her
lips are, this still means that you aren't getting any tonight.
Phrase: Zhao!
Meaning: Good morning!
Literal translation: Early!
Notes - This of course meant that you slept with the person, in which you
probably don't need this tutorial.
Phrase: Ni xi bu xi huan SES?
Meaning: Do you like SES?
Literal translation: You like no like SES?
Notes - Hey it doesn't hurt. This practically translates into, "do you like good
music sung by cute girls?" You'll get a lot more positive responses than the
classic "hey, baby. What's your sign?" (or the Chinese equivilant)
Not so subtle SES plug-in
Level 2 - Compliments
Phrase: Ni hen piao liang
Meaning: You are very pretty
Literal translation: You very pretty
Notes - Played out. Your practically admitting you two are just going to be friends using such
inelegant words of the Chinese language.
Phrase: Ni zhen mei li.
Meaning: Your beauty is strong.
Literal translation: You for real beauty strong.
Notes - Much better. However, that's still a rather low-level compliment.
Phrase: Ni hen ke ai.
Meaning: You are very cute.
Literal translation: You very cute.
Notes - See "Ni hun piao liang" notes.
Phrase: Ni gen SES yi yiang suang.
Meaning: You are as cool as SES.
Literal translation: You along with SES equal cool.
Notes - As ghetto as that translation sounds, you'll score mad fob points. It'll probably at least get
you a second date.
Not so subtle SES plug-in 2
Level 3 - Time to Front
Phrase: Ni ke bu ke yi gei wo ni de dian hua hao ma?
Meaning: Can you give me your phone number?
Literal translation: You can not can give me your phone number.
Notes - Home number is strong. Cell number is stronger. Beware not to give her your number or
the caller id will be your undoing.
Phrase: Ni yao bu yao yi qi qu wan tsan.
Meaning: Do you want to have dinner with me?
Literal translation: You want no want together eat late meal?
Notes - If anywhere, that only works in the states. Good to know, but like "you are pretty," you
should skip it.
Phrase: Ni xi bu xi huan qu ka la oh ke?
Meaning: Do you like going to karaoke?
Literal translation: You like no like karaoke?
Notes - Common stereo-type that Asians love karaokeing more than anything. While it's a great
pastime, you're better off asking if she wants to take sticky pics.
Phrase: Ni yao bu yao bo ba nai cha?
Meaning: Do you want breast milk tea?
Literal translation - You want no want breast milk tea?
Notes - Even if she wants to say "no," she won't be able to. Hence, do this enough and she's
yours.
Not so subtle SES plug-in 3
Level 4 - That Crap They Love to Hear
Phrase: Wo xi Huan ni.
Meaning:I like you.
Literal translation: I like you (were you expecting some whack ass literal translation?).
Notes - The modest straightforward approach is actually much more effective than the cheesy "I
love you."
Phrase: Wo ai ni.
Meaning: I love you.
Literal translation - I love you.
Notes - Save it for the alter, buddy. You aren't going to impress anyone.
Phrase: Wo dui ni de ai bi wo dui SES de ai hai shen.
Meaning: I love you more than I love SES.
Literal translation: Me towards you your love compare me towards SES your love even
deeper.
Notes - Slam. You're getting mad love in the sack tonight. If not, then that is one whack ass girl.
Not so subtle SES plug-in 4
Links
SES...if ur wondring
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