Japanese 101
Japanese Tutorial
Hitting on a Japanese girl? Thinking of hooking up with a Japanese guy?
Here's your 1 stop guide to making it safe to first base (loose interpretation
mind you).
Level 1 - Make Contact
Japanese is a pain in that hello changes depending on what part of the day it
is or where you are.
Phrase: Ohaiyo Gozaimasu!
Meaning: Good Morning!
Phrase: Konichiwa!
Meaning: Good Afternoon!
Phrase: Konbanwa!
Meaning: Good Evening!
Phrase: Oyasuminasai!
Meaning: Good Night!
Phrase: Moshi Moshi!
Meaning: Hello (over the phone)!
Level 2 - Stopping Them in Their Tracks.
Phrase: Choto.
Meaning: Wait.
Notes - First generation Japanese girls are rumored to be so obedient that
they'll stop (at least for a second) if you tell them to. Hence, the popularity of
this maneuver. If you want to be polite which will probably kill her through
shock, just add a "kudasai" behind "choto" which translates to "PLEASE,
wait."
Phrase: Anata wa kawai desu.
Meaning: You look cute.
Notes - Again if she's fresh from Japan, she might die of shock at the sound of a guy being polite
to her. Not a good move.
Phrase: Anata wa kuwai desu.
Meaning: You look scary.
Notes - Cute and scary sound very similar in Japanese. Be very careful of what you say.
Level 3 - Time to Front
Phrase: Boku wa Biru Gaitsu yori kanemochi desu.
Meaning: I am richer than Bill Gates
Notes - Exageration is a must in any Asian culture. Such boasting will automatically put you in
contention for a possible further relationship development.
Phrase: Anata wa sakura yori suteki desu.
Meaning: You are more gorgeous than the prettiest cherry blossom in Japan.
Notes - Again, exageration is a must in any Asian culture. She will automatically assume that your compliment implies that she is 2 levels lower than that compliment.
Phrase: PHS Denwa bangou oshiete kuremasenka.
Meaning: May I have your cell phone number?
Notes - Everyone in Japan has a cell phone. If you leave the PHS part out, he or she will
automatically assume you are totally clueless about his or her culture. Automatic strike 3.
Phrase: Boku wa mainichi geimu shitemasu.
Meaning: I play video games all day.
Notes - Although not exactly a turn on, you'll at least score trust points in that she'll associate you
to be as cute as her little brother jumping up and down in front of a screen showing Final Fantasy. Since she probably also grew up around a ton of guys playing video games, she'll feel right at home. I'm sure she appreciates the honesty, too.
Phrase: Boku wa mainichi geimu shitenaidesu.
Meaning: I don't play video games all day.
Notes - She'll wonder why you are too poor to buy video games or what kind of sick fuck you are not liking video games. Either way, you're screwed. Save some face and never show yourself in front of her again.
Phrase: SES ga suki desu.
Meaning: I like SES.
Notes - Expect a "Really? Let's go K-clubbing then!" Slam.
Level 4 - That Crap They Love to Hear
Phrase: Anata ga ski desu.
Meaning: I like you.
Notes - The modest straightforward approach is actually much more effective than the cheesy "I
love you."
Phrase: Ai Shite.
Meaning: I love you.
Notes - Save it for the alter, buddy. You aren't going to impress anyone.
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