The most useless
day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter,
there also is life.
They say that people who laugh a lot live longer
than do the sour-faced.
When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise
is sincere.
Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each
day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us
lonely misers.
We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.
Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living
right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows
and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.
(author anonymous)
Things
That Should Be Heard More Often at Church
1. The only problem we had on the scout campout was that
after all the meals every scout wanted to wash all the dishes, especially the pots and
pans. It was hard getting them to wait their turn.
2. We were enjoying the meeting so much that we didn't
even notice that it had gone 15 minutes overtime.
3. We'll go ahead and start the meeting early today
since everyone is already here and in their seats.
4. So many sisters volunteer to help with every
compassionate service project, that not everyone gets to help each time.
5. Almost the entire ward comes to our child of record
baptisms.
6. Our large Deacon's Quorum sits so still during their
class and raise their hands to participate, that getting to teaching their class is the
most coveted position in our ward.
7. We have a hard time filling positions in Relief
Society because all the sisters want to teach Primary, especially the Nursery and Sunbeam
classes.
8. We love to get to church early because our favorite
front bench pew is always taken if we aren't extra early.
9. The whole congregation heard and enjoyed the prelude
music.
10. Filling all the positions in Cub Scouts has never
been a problem.
11. Men's Basketball is so much fun! Such good
sportsmanship! Everyone is there to have a good time and there's no fighting.
12. We have so many people signed up for this
month's Temple trip that we need to hire a second (third?) bus.
13. The family history class will be canceled
until new people move into the ward as all the current ward members have finished tracing
all of their ancestors.
14. Heard from the Executive Secretary. . ."
Statistics are the same as usual, Visiting Teaching 100%, Home Teaching 100%, Sacrament
Meeting attendance 100% Primary attendance 100%, etc.
15. I love being Primary president -- people are always
so willing to help out on Sunday and quarterly activities are a breeze because so many
adults beg to help out.
This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletin and
Service bloopers:
When I was a Rick's college, they announced as the opening hymn:
"Hark, the Herald Angels Sin" Lesli Jenks
Ward Adult Valentine's Activity: bring your favorite game and a spouse
of a friend for a great time! Feb '98
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's
Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in
his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the
choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
"Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The Congregation is invited
to attend this tragedy.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
E X C U S E
S, E X C U S E S !
Tired of hearing the same, time-worn excuses for why
people don't attend church services, the Rev. Sudney Laing
of Dublin, Ireland, wrote this humorous piece for his parish paper
"Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash"
1. I was made to wash as a child.
2. People who wash are hypocrites; they reckon they
are cleaner than other people.
3. There are many different kinds of soap; I could
never decide which one was right.
4. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
5. I still wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
6. None of my friends wash.
7. I'm still young. When I'm older and have got a
bit dirtier I might start washing.
8. I really don't have time.
9. The bathroom's never warm enough.
10. People who make soap are only after your money.
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Laughter
