The George Bush Page

George Bush's Simpsons Appearances:

Realty Bites (5F06)
Two Bad Neighbors (3F09)
Homer The Great (2F09)
Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (8F01)

Last Updated 3/18/01

(8F01) Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington

George: O.K. This should make my bosses very happy. Ambassador: Your Bosses??? George: Yep, all 250 million of em.	bosses.wav (254 KB)

(9F07) Mr. Plow

George: Homer, I've got to sneak these valuable artworks out of the White House, but I can't get out of my driveway because of these protesters	sneak.wav (0 KB)

(1F01) Rosebud

Guard: Hey! [President Bush grunts] No one-termers. [tosses him out] Carter: You too, huh? Hey, I know a good yogurt place. Bush: Get away from me, loser.	loser.wav (0 KB)

(1F06) Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood

Man: Bwaa! No es bueno...Bwaa! [He gets shot and falls off the building] [George Bush walks on the screen and kicks the corpse] Bush: [robotically] Winners don't use drugs.	game.wav (605 KB)

(2F09) Homer the Great

Number One: Let's hear from the Stonecutter world council before we act too rashly. Orville: Kill him. Nicholson: Kill him. Mr. T: Kill the fool! Bush: I'm afraid I have to disagree with Orville, Jack, and Mister. Can't we just do something to his voice box?	mister.wav (293 KB)

(3F09) Two Bad Neighbors

George: Hi there, neighbors. Uh, I'm...George Bush. Former president George Bush? Everyone: Oh, OK! etc. [mild applause] Homer: OK, let's give it up for the new guy. Now, let's all turn around and pay attention to me again.	intro.wav (624 KB)

Ray: And your business here, Mr. Flanders? Ned: Well, sir, I'm welcoming the Bushes on behalf of the Neighborhood Association. George: Never mind about that, Ray. Just give them a quick pass with the metal detector and let 'em on in. Hey, Bar! The neighbors are here.	neighbor.wav (585 KB)

Ned: Howdily doodily, there, President Bush -- or should I say, "President Neighbor"! I'm Ned Flanders, and this is Maude, Rod, and Todd. George: Well, howdily doodily yourself, there, Ned. This is my wife Barbara. I call her Bar. Would you like some lemonade? Ned: Tip top notch! George: Okily dokily. Ned: Thankily dankily! Great-ilicious! George: Scrump-diddley-eriffic! Both: Fine and dandy like sour candy! George: Bar's a whiz with cold drinks, aren't you, Bar? Don't understand lemonade myself -- not my forte...	lemon.wav (624 KB)

George: Just happy to be here among good, average people with no particular hopes or dreams. Rod: But, Mr. President, we're not all good people.	good.wav (195 KB)

George: [sighs] Just going to relax with my "U.S. News and World Whatnot". [opens magazine] Oh, good: they're roasting the new guy. Bart: Hello, Mr. Bush! Barbara: George, this is a neighborhood boy, Bart Simpson. He came over to say hi. George: [unimpressed] Hello. Bart: Hi. Hey, what's this? George: My electric card shuffler. Don't go near that -- [Bart plays with it, and cards fly] Now, I told you...oh, those cards are from Air Force One, and they only give you so many packs!	cards.wav (663 KB)
Barbara: Oh, George, boys will be boys. Bart's just being friendly. Why don't you get off that sofa and show Bart your photos? George: Oh, but he'll gunk 'em all up. His hands are probably covered with mud and cookies. [Bart shows his clean hands] Oh, he probably stole a napkin.	photos.wav (624 KB)
Bart: Who's that, George? George: That's me with Charlton Heston. He was -- Bart: Who's that, George? George: Er -- see, you wouldn't know him. That's Bob Mosbacher. He was secretary of -- Bart: That's a dumb name. Who's that, George? George: Maybe he thinks "Bart" is a dumb -- Bart: How many times were you president, George? George: You know, in my day, little boys didn't call their elders by their first names. Bart: Yeah? Well, welcome to the 20th century, George.	people.wav (956 KB)
Homer: Man: I've only got one minute 'till they stop serving those breakfast balls! [stops behind Bush at the drive thru] George: Let's see, now...what do you folks have here, huh? Hmm, a "Krusty Burger"...that doesn't sound too appetizing. What kind of stew do you have today? Nerdy Teen: Uh...we don't have stew. [Homer honks impatiently] Ray: Sir, why don't you just have the cheeseburger? George: Aw, that's really more of a weekend thing, Ray. Homer: Hey, jerk! Move your fanny! George: That guy's louder than World War II. Ray, go see what the rhubarb is, will you? [Ray goes back toward Homer's car] Ray: Sir, could you pop your hood? [Homer does so; Ray disables the horn]	rhubarb.wav (722 KB)
George: [waking suddenly] Great Scot, don't touch that! That's the alpenhorn Helmut Kohl gave me. Bart: [dropping it] Where'd you get those pyjamas? George: They're presidential pyjamas. You have to be President, and you're not President! Bart: Yes I am. George: [stammers] No, you're not! Bar!	pyjamas.wav (332 KB)
Bart: Hey, where's your candy? George: We don't have any. Now go away! Barbara: George! Older people don't eat much candy, Bart, but I could bake you some cookies if you like. George: [scoffs] Can't remember the last time she made cookies for me. Barbara: What's that? George: Oh, nothing.	cookies.wav (332 KB)
George: [typing] And since I'd achieved all my goals as President in one term, there was no need for a second. The end. Hmm, good memoirs. Good, not great. Now, let's look at that old outboard -- soup that baby up, rattle a few windows down Kennebunkport next May. [chuckles] Bart: Hello, Mr. Bush! [skateboards in, knocking a sheet from the memoirs loose] Whatcha doin'? George: Now, don't upset the desk there -- careful! Don't want to horse around with -- Bart: [spying outboard] Hey, cool! What does this do? George: Now don't you pull that cord, young man -- [Bart pulls it anyway; the motor runs around the room] No! Hey -- Bar! My motor's gone loco! [crash!] Ohh, the birdhouse. My prize orchids! [the motor stops; Bart taps it and it starts up again] [it stops once again; a lightbulb falls on it and it restarts] No, not the memoirs. Don't even think about it. Not going to happen -- Bart: Whoa, man. George: Whoa, nothing. I'm going to do something your daddy should have done a long time ago. [takes Bart over his knee and spanks him] Now go home and think about what you've done, young man!	memoirs.wav (0 KB)
Homer: Hey, Bush! Get out here! Ray: Excuse me, Sir: where are you going? Homer: I'm going to punch George Bush in the face. Ray: OK. Is he expecting you?	punch.wav (117 KB)
Homer: Hey! You owe me an apology. George: You owe me an apology. If you were any kind of a father, you'd have disciplined that boy a long time ago. Ray: You want to step back, Sir? You're trampling the flowers. Homer: Ooh! Hiding behind your goons, eh, Bush? Well you are a wimp!	hide.wav (839 KB)
George: Wimp, am I? Agent Johnson, Agent Heintz, you men stand down. [the gate opens and Homer walks in] All right, Mister: you want trouble? You're going to get trouble. Homer: Oh, I want trouble, all right. George: Then you're going to get trouble. Homer: No, you're going to get trouble. George: Oh, that's good, that's good, 'cause I want trouble. Homer: Then we're agreed there'll be trouble. George: Oh, yeah, lots of trouble. Homer: Trouble it is. George: For you. [walks inside, slams door] Homer: For -- d'oh!	trouble.wav (624 KB)
Barbara: [yawns] Why don't you just say you're sorry, George? George: Because I'm right! Oh, no, I'm going to fix their wagon good. I've pulled some pranks in my time...	pranks.wav (702 KB)
Hibbert: I don't understand. Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbors? George: No! That's not Bar and me, it's them! Ned: Who, Maude and me? George: No, the man and his boy. You know, the -- the boy is named Bart. I don't know the name of the man. Bar! What's the name of the man? Barbara: I'm not getting involved, George. George: Look, just never mind. I thought the banner was pretty straightforward, but I'll just take it down.	banner.wav (975 KB)
Barbara: George, it's time to get dressed. George: N'uh huh. Not going outside today, not with those neighbors. Staying right here till my speech to the Elk's club. Homer: [knocking at door] Yoo hoo! George: Who is it? [looks through spy hole without glasses on, sees two figures] Homer: It's your sons, George Bush Jr. and Jeb Bush. George: Bar, the boys are out in the front yard. They'll help me think of a plan to get those Simpsons. Barbara: Oh, George, is that all you ever think about? The boys probably just want a letter of recommendation. George: [opening door] Boys? [Homer pulls them out of the way] Where are you going? Homer: OK, Son: give him the glue! [Bart squeezes some glue onto Bush's hair] [Homer stuffs a multicolored afro on top] [they run off, laughing]	glue.wav (819 KB)
George: And that's why I will continue to oppose teen alcoholism in all its forms! [everyone claps] Now, are there any questions? [everyone puts their hand up] keeping in mind that I already explained about my hair. Everyone: Oh yeah, that's right. etc.	hair.wav (410 KB)
George: Hmm. Can't decide if this'll be considered feisty, or crazy. Hey...What the! Oh, if he thinks George Bush'll stay out of the sewer, he doesn't know George Bush."	drive.wav (741 KB)
George: Hey, turkeys! Behind you. Homer: For the last time, Bush, apologize for spanking my boy! George: Never! You make him apologize for destroying my memoirs. Homer: You didn't tell me you destroyed his memoirs... [to Bush] Never! [charges him]	sorry.wav (566 KB)
George: Here's a little something we learned in CIA. [Homer backs off but then Bart throws down the locusts] Bart: Get him, boys!	cia.wav (332 KB)
George: I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet! I'll take your head and -- Gorbachev! Heh, what are you doing here? Mikhail: I just dropped by with present for warming of house. Instead, find you grappling with local oaf. Homer: Oh, brought some of your commie friends to help you fight dirty, eh? George: But Mikhail, they put a wig on my head, my memoirs --	gorby.wav (605 KB)
Barbara: George! This is the last straw. You apologize to Homer right now! George: But Bar, [quietly] we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians. Barbara: George...	george.wav (449 KB)
George: Yes, dear. Mikhail: [speaks Russian to his driver, and laughs] George: I'm sorry I spanked your boy, Homer. Homer: Woo hoo! In your face, Bush. Now apologize for the tax hike.	taxes.wav (644 KB)