Kobolds

Two things tend to define vermin. One is a ubiquitous quality which makes them a constant nuisance and the other is a lack of a certain kind of self-respecting style. By these standards, goblins can be called vermin. Kobolds on the other hand, debatably, don't qualify for either attribute.

Kobolds are often called "little dog men" because they have a dog-like snout and yappy voice. Nevertheless, they are undeniably reptilian, from the scaly skin to their laying of eggs, they are more closely related to lizard men and troglodytes than gnolls or dogs. This, then, means that kobolds are cold blooded and therefore dependant upon heat for survival. This is their greatest limitation for dispersal since cold regions and the depths of the earth are dangerous places without some source of supplementary heat. Though kobolds live mostly under ground, they are usually close to the surface and the rejuvenating sun or rely on bonfires and charcoal braziers to keep warm enough that they don't go into shock. Note: this does not make them extra susceptable to cold attacks unless the attack is sustained. So kobolds cannot make their homes just anywhere.

Unlike goblins, kobolds have developed a kind of entitlement to the world and do not often play the patsy for just any dominant local leader. Rather than depending upon the strength of others and their protection and because of their relative fragility, kobolds have learned to rely on strategies other than direct confrontation. Though being a skilled warrior is still important, being a clever sneak is far more valuable to a kobold and his or her kin. The depth and level that they take this to is remarkable. They don't justify being deceptive and they are comfortable with themselves in this role. They are very aware of how lies work, but if they think a questioner won't believe them, they will tell the truth if it is potentially more harmful or advantageous for them to be discounted. It is often the case that such pervasive behavior becomes ritualized within a culture when it becomes so central to its nature, but kobolds don't get spiritual about this. For them, and they understand this well, it is about survival, pure and simple.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a relaxed kobold. They are constantly devious because they constantly feel threatened. They are always watching their surroundings and try to be two steps ahead of any activity. In any organized group they will place scouts ahead of all event possibilities, predicting the next course of events beyond to always be in position to witness what happens. They have finely honed strategic minds and a good grasp on cause and effect behaviors others exhibit. What they do have trouble ascertaining are acts performed purely out of emotion which usually have strategic consequences merely coincidentally. This difficulty with the emotional depth of warm blooded beings also keeps them at bay regarding interactions other than conflict and predation. In other words, they will be very uncomfortable negotiating trade in a marketplace and are less likely to ransom a captive because that requires a level of interaction that they know they are at a loss participating in.

Like most social humanoids, kobolds live in tribal units. There is no literal translation for their name of these groups, so humans call them "yaps" for the general yipping cacophony a group of kobolds can make. The leader of a yap is called the "wisdom". Even in this way kobolds attempt subterfuge as they divert suspicion from their leadership by using a misnomer. The title should really be "clever" but to call oneself clever isn't very clever. The wisdom, however, has a very important role, one that makes kobold yaps valuable discoveries to historians. In addition to organizing the yap policy and strategies and acting as diplomatic relations when necessary, wisdoms are charged with keeping an historical record of the lives of their people called, "The List of the Days." Using whatever they have available they write a chronological list of events as they occur. Note: They are very careful to keep the events in proper order, but the time span between listings is less important. There could be a span of a year between two "day" listings, depending upon the diligence of the wisdom and the activity of the community. It is interesting to note, though, that this writing is where the sacredness of truth resides. Regardless of its implications the truth of events will always be told in these writings because the next wisdom must know what was actually the case in order to strategize properly. The wisdom can make the writings as public as he or she wants to. Given the sneaky, all knowing nature of a yap and its wisdom and the certain devotion to truth of its content a "List of Days" is an incredible source for local history of an area.

The wisdom is usually male and the culture is basically patriarchal. Women are not protected as much as in most cultures and are often expected to defend the home as much as males in the final line of defense. This isn't equality; again it's a necessity for survival. But because one female can lay a clutch of eggs and therefore produce many offspring all at once their overall value is diminished and the eggs are protected above all else. It would seem that with increased production of young (being about five eggs produced every year of fertility for a female kobold) that kobolds would dominate the world, but several things control the global kobold population. Living a savage existence is hard on them and they are fragile enough that little missteps can be quite deadly, so death is not uncommon for them. Also, females are fertile for only ten to fifteen years of their lives relative to the overall lifespan of an average kobold (150-200 years). And then usually conditions for egg laying reptiles are not ideal and fetal mortality rate is greater than for most mammalian races. Usually when a very large yap is found it is a sign that the community has stabilized its environment and found premium hatching grounds, but if a yap gets too big it might draw the attention of one of the dominant larger races and inter tribal conflicts usually end poorly for kobolds.

One thing cultural historians who examine kobold culture discover pretty quick is that kobolds are very much a no nonsense race, or rather that the nonsense they create is taken quite seriously by them. Snare traps, net traps, pit traps, theft, sabotaging gear, and all such prankish kind of stuff is very important to them. They whittle away at a foe until the enemy is in a dire situation. Many invaders of kobold territory have been merely bothered by the pestiness until the sum of it all reduces their options to almost nothing and they realize that the seeming pranks have set them up for casual elimination. Again, all of this could be ritualized, but it isn't. Their deity, Kurtulmak, is revered for his cleverness and is like a folk hero for all yaps worldwide, but though they do technically worship him, his image holds the same kind of sacredness to them that Santa Claus does for us with our sacrifices of cookies and milk. What Kurtulmak does do is offer a model for skill and behavior that children can grow up to and emulate. For kobolds it is all merely a process to maintain survival. It is hard to pinpoint what kobolds value culturally.

As best anyone can ascertain, besides treasure which they value because others value it and it can be a useful tool, kobolds value time and existence within it. They value the days, the hours, the minutes, the moments and they value existing within them. This presumably is why the wisdom is given the task to maintain the List of Days, to chronicle the time of his or her people. But right next to that simple passion is the love of the power of knowing the genuine experience which often they attempt to rob others of. They love being the ones who know what is really going on every moment of the day. Unfortunately, bartering information with a kobold wisdom is usually a losing proposition--anything he doesn't already know he can probably find out pretty quick and only the most compelling and immediately necessary information would interest a wisdom if he or she had any reason to believe that the truth was required of the circumstances. Basically, these people want nothing you have that they can't possibly take anyway.

But other than as a commodity, kobolds love reality as they, in a sense, see themselves as its stewards. This is realized most of all in their interest and proclivity toward telling and listening to stories. They love to tell stories and they love to actively listen to them as well. Relating the story of the afternoon's hunt, even if nothing actually interesting happened, can take all night, as the one telling the story is constantly required to answer questions by the listeners which more exactly reveal details, whether important or not, to create a more full event for sharing. Where most storytellers would give up with the constant interruptions, in a kobold community such constant inquiry is expected and it makes the telling of a story a group effort. This exercise in truth and reality makes kobolds about the most adept at organizing facts and verifying truth just by listening to someone speak. They aren't good at differentiating tone or noticing sweaty palms, but they will pepper a speaker with questions until a moment by moment event is revealed. Liars usually can't stand up to such detailed questioning. Note: Never lie to a kobold. Lying is considered a sign of weakness and fear. Kobolds know they are weak and afraid; that's why they lie, but if they catch you lying to them, they might think they could stand up in a fight against you.

Ultimately what this means to a kobold culturally is that all events have value. In the realm of storytelling, true stories have the value of giving the listener the power of having witnessed it whereas lies are the events in and of themselves which are designed to weaken. To know the course of reality is power and to successfully sift through all of the misinformation and tricky perspectives will bring advantage to one's own life. This is the core to the kobold world view. For a yap, the strategy is to organize under the wisdom, use teamwork to gather information, consolidate the gathered information with the wisdom, and then the wisdom provides direction. It is a simple method and it has allowed kobolds to exist in the overly harsh world.

Because of their cold blooded nature, kobolds are not as emotively directed as most other humanoids. They aren't complete robots, but in situations that would usually produce extreme emotional responses, kobolds tend to be more subdued. As a side effect, this also dampens their creative instincts. They might be effective engineers, but they don't do so well as painters, sculptors, or musicians. Their cave homes go unadorned most of the time. They just don't see the need to go to the trouble of decorating. Music to them is just bothersome noise that is most beneficial when other people play it because they can sneak around better when it is being played. The only games kobolds usually play are targeting practice wagers. When not hunting or spying, kobolds' free time is spent communicating.

Like most reptiles, female kobolds aren't that different from the males. Still being a mainly patriarchal culture, female kobolds are little more than servants in times of leisure and the last line of defense when under attack. Young kobolds are hatched as nearly fully formed miniatures of their parents. Because the children are virtually independent from birth, the women do not have to care for them as much as just act as shepherds and teachers for them. Young kobolds learn the skills and community practices for the first twenty years of their lives and by then are fully grown members of the yap.

Kobolds, for the most part, like their role in the world and don't want to participate in endeavors of the civilized races. Some scholars say that this is a defense against rejection from the global community because they have so much difficulty relating to emotive beings and because they cannot relax. Kobolds who have adapted to living with humans first had to learn some level of trust to quit being so skittish and then the humans had to adapt to their new friend's generally unresponsive nature. This kind of honesty and calmness is a lot of work for the average kobold to muster. Emotional behavior seems haphazard and chaotic to them and they don't like being in such an unregulated environment either. Usually they crack and resort to the "take the money and run" tactics they know best. The kobolds who surpass even this urge learn appropriate responses to key emotions and develop the ability to act them out to the degree that casual observance won't reveal it as a show. By this point, though, a kobold will have alienated him or herself from their own heritage and understand the value of living civilized. Neither kobold nor anything else, they can expect a more solitary life ahead of them.