Behavior

Female sexual predators do rape/sexually abuse young boys – young girls – adult men – adult women

Male sexual predators do rape/sexually abuse young boys –young girls – adult men – adult women

A predator is a predator, whether it is male or female. There is no one physical trait that denotes a sexual predator. Those that seek to bring harm to others are evil no matter the gender, size, or age.

Predators do not stop their depravity unless she/he is discovered or dies; however some predators do not stop even when she/he is discovered. When caught or confronted generally the sexual predator will calmly deny all claims. The facade, - sweet, calm, nice demeanor that gets them close to their victims and unnoticed by others.

Predators seek power and control over their victim. “Power- The ability to control the behavior of others even against their will.” (Sociology Fourth Edition 1990)

Predators will use any means to dominate their victim. Most children lack the intelligence and physical strength to combat an adult predator. Trickery, praise, isolation, threats, pain, torture, blackmail are only a few means of control. And some adults lack the ability to combat a predator, especially if the adult was a victim as a child. An adult victim can become trapped and helpless just like a child. (See Re-victimization)And may revert back to their known survival tactics of the child victim.

Please note that I use the word attack throughout my web site. I use the word to mean physical attack and emotional attack.

A predator will physically attack a victim but a predator will also emotionally attack the victim and everyone else.

Emotional attacks are very deceptive in nature and are done in full sight of everyone. It is the cooing, sweetness, complementary, smiling, showing great concern for others, or paying oh so special attention to others or to a certain person.

Predators display such warmth and speak loving kindness to their victim(s). And will display enthusiastic interest in their victim’s job, hobbies, field of study, or any interest of the victim; the predator will also be enthralled with the same thing(s).

Predators have polite social conversation; engage in community events, social events, work events, always present with a helping hand, nothing is an imposition for her or him. She or he may be a strong communicator, easy to be around, out going, willing to be on community or work committees. It is the ultimate set up for the victim and society. We are lulled into a blind trust, always reassured by a well-rehearsed façade. It is the cloak of deceit. And if she or he is discovered they may go under ground for a while but she or he will resurface in another location, another family or anywhere.

Predators fear power and authority that is why the female sexual predator / male sexual predator preys on the defenseless, the controllable, and the vulnerable child and adult. The predator is terrified of being found out; therefore, the predator will generally portray the façade of a submissive and tender person around others. However, survivors know the truth. Charm and rage in one moment, it is what survivors know and what others only glimpse.

Predators believe they are all powerful. She or he will say sexually explicit things, make strong eye contact, grope and are able to invoke fear in her/his victim in a room filled with other adults and/or children. Predators impress themselves with their own depraved power and equally prove to her/his victim how powerful she/he is; and that she/he can get away with anything at anytime; and that no one cares what happens to the victim. It is control over a victim at all times.

It is the moment in a room filled with others that the predator can smile and make conversation but in a second she/he will flash the rage survivors know all to well. Or the predator will walk past the victim and make strong eye contact or grab or touch at the victim, and etc. all seemingly unnoticed, by all.

Planning

Sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape and torture are not done on a whim, attacks are premeditated.

The predator has to plan when and where her/his prey will be the most vulnerable to an attack.

Predators have to plan how she/he will control the victim during the attack and once she/he has finished (for the time being) how to control the victim(s) after the vicious attack. Control means in the field of view and out of the field of view of the predator. Meaning there is no safe place for the victim to hide or run.

Control

Hostage – a person given or held as security for the performance of certain actions, promises etc., by another. (Random House Dictionary)

No matter what method a predator uses the victim is a hostage. The victim is a hostage during the time of the assault, and after the attack. Some predators will use a physical weapon or restraints to control the victim and force the victim to submit. Other forms of control and weapons may be utilized by a predator: drugs, alcohol, blackmail, terror, deception, even convincing the victim that they are to blame for what happened. It is any and all unthinkable means used against a victim.

Blackmail - to force or coerce into a particular action, statement, etc. (Random House Dictionary)

Coercion – “to compel by force, intimidation, etc., esp. without regard for individual desire or volition. To dominant or control, esp. by exploiting fear, anxiety, etc.” (Random House Dictionary)

Blackmail is a weapon of female/male sexual predators. Some female sexual predators lack the physical strength to restrain another adult, not so with a child. But the use of blackmail to get the victim to submit is no different than if the predator had used a physical weapon. Blackmail is used in the form of threats against the victim's life, family members, pets, and for adult victims the use of jail or false accusations. (Ruin a person's life, exploit their fears - submit or your life - this occurs no matter what the age of the victim or size and gender of the predator.) "You do exactly as I say or I will..", BLACKMAIL

The child is terrified and ashamed for others to know and the predator does not want to be discovered, and there in lies the twisted trap. Children are terrified because of all the lies and threats the predator has told them. Children don’t know that they won’t be blamed, they just know that they are scared, hurt and ashamed. It is an enormous burden for a child to carry.

However, adults know that there is judicial prejudice against male victims; and there is judicial prejudice against adults who have not led a perfect life. And an adult victim may believe that their word may not be believed against a so-called pillar of the community. Or the victim may not live or be from the area or community, an outsider, therefore a stranger’s word may not be believed. These are all forms of control and it is what the predator counts on happening to the victim(s). Predators know all the small details to entrap a victim. Victims go about their day-to-day lives; predators plot every day.

There are predators that will use the threat of false accusations of assault or rape to force a victim to submit and to control a victim. False accusations made by a female sexual predator against a man or young boy has far reaching destruction, and female predators know that the justice system will automatically side with a female. The victim can become a virtual slave. A victim may have been threatened with jail as a child. Jail and prison are a weapon used against an adult and a child victim. Or the threat of only the child going to jail or being taken away from their family, for doing wrong against the predator is a common weapon against both boys and girls.

Blackmail is used to dominate and control a victim during the depraved sexual attack and after. Blackmail is used to force silence in the victim, hence, ‘You say anything about what happened and all I have to do is accuse you, and you won’t be believed.’ Or ‘All I have to do is run screaming rape and you will be arrested, I can ruin your life with this.’ The predator may blackmail the victim into submission by threatening another family member, if the victim refuses, hides or fights back. Blackmail is any unthinkable threat or act against a victim. (See Threats)

The female or male sexual predator will force her/his sexual will upon a victim even if a victim physically strikes the predator. Violence may not be a strong enough deterrent and it is not a concern of the predator. Sexual abuse, rape, and abuse are violent acts against a victim, however, sexual violence may be a factor in some predators attacks.

Violence may be the very thing that traps a victim. Some predators may want violence as part of her/his depraved acts and it also may be weapon for blackmail. Even if the victim also has bruises the predator may attempt to use the marks as proof against the victim. *I am not advocating violence.

A survivor that was blackmailed as a child may be unable to recognize the choices available to them as an adult. If a child was told repeatedly, “No one will believe you” at some point it becomes true to the victim, especially if the attacks continued for a long period of time without anyone helping. The unhealed victim may stay in the victim role, (the books, “Repressed Memories” and “The Right To Innocence" explain the victim identity. And the book, “The Body Remembers” explains the mental and physical reaction of an attack and how these reactions can stay with a victim and offers guides to change these reactions.)

The damage is done for life either way for a victim. It is not the lesser of the two evils it is evil itself. Evil is never the choice of a victim; it is the predator who chooses evil.

*Adult survivors may be at higher risk for assault, rape, abuse, etc. due in part to early childhood trauma, which can debilitate appropriate responses or defensive skills to an attack and a predator’s terrorism. (See Re-victimization) Regardless of the lack of defensive skills the predator(s) have no right to harm another. Predators count on and seek out the vulnerable child and adult. The second she or he detects a slight weakness they attack. The weakness to a predator is our trusting nature.

*People have a right to go about their life without being singled out for abuse, rape, assault, torture, etc. People are entitled to have a life. But predators seek to take the security and trust from victims.

Fear – a distressing emotion aroused by an impending pain, danger, evil, etc, or by the illusion of such. Syn. Apprehension, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation. Fear, Dread, Alarm all imply a painful emotion experienced when a person is confronted by threatening danger or evil. (Random House Dictionary)

Threat - (n) a declaration of an intention or determination to inflict punishment, injury, etc. in retaliation for, or conditionally upon, some action or course; menace.(Random House Dictionary)

Threaten – v.t. to utter a threat against; menace. (Random House Dictionary)

There are those who have never known or experienced pain, true fear or true evil,(which is a blessing) however, survivors know pain and fear and have seen the face of evil. And the sense of fear is a well-used weapon of predators. Fear can be debilitating for a victim. Fear interrupts logical thought patterns, and problem solving skills. Fear can make children and adult victims malleable to the sexual predator's depravity. The predator wants the victim to freeze up or over react to the attack and threats, in this aspect the predator is able to control the victim, because the victim cannot focus and panic sets in and the victim may not be able to see a clear way out.

For those victims who suffered prolonged attacks; they know what the predator is capable of doing to them, know what the predator is willing to do to them and for some viticms, they know that the predator will torture them into submission. And most victims know the threats to cause more pain and suffering, the threats to harm or kill family members or pets. And the horrifying threat to abuse a younger sibling if the victim hides or refuses to do what the predator demands. Either the victim suffers or the victim will cause their family, sister or brother to suffer, therefore the child will submit to protect others. And adult victims know the threats of jail and the threats to harm lives, family, marriages, and careers. The threat to ruin every aspect of their lives.

A predator may threaten to tell the child’s parents and then everyone will know, the child won’t be believed or the child will be taken away or the child will cause the breakup of the family. After a predator has terrorized a child this threat seems quite real. What and who is a defenseless child to believe? And this is what the predator counts on, control by fear and threats.

The perspective of fear and threats is one that can be seen throughout history. There have been empires built and destroyed on threats and fear. There have been entire armies to surrender or flee because of threats and fear. There have been countries controlled by threats. For example: Parts of Africa, Asia, Germany, Iraq and other countries that have been ruled by horrible dictators. These monsters brought fear (terror) to entire populations and controlled entire populations by threats. People were forced, by threats and fear to perform horrible acts. Some of the most horrific crimes against humanity have been carried out under the cloak of threats and fear. When entire populations can be controlled by fear and threats, what is a child or an adult to do against a predator that isolates, hurts, torments, frightens, tortures, rapes, and sexually abuses them?

*There are those who will say everyone has some responsibility to carry and that may very well be true to some extent. However, for those who have been trapped by a predator and could not escape it is in that time that survivors only have the responsibility to try to live to survive. Victimized children grow up with a strong sense of fear and when confronted and trapped by a predator, the survivor may become a victim again. Survivors sometimes lack the tools to save themselves. (See Re-victimization) *Untreated trauma can cause so many problems in the adult survivor’s life. The books, “The Right To Innocence”, “The Body Remembers”, “Abused Boys”, “Repressed Memories”, “Ghost In the Bedroom” and “Wounded Boys Heroic Men” explain fear and shame and the effects of it in the past and in the present. (see books) Also a trained therapist/psychologist/psychotherapist can offer guidance on these issues.

Sexual psychopaths

Predators generally have a psychopathic personality; she/he will only see herself/himself as omnipotent therefore, only the predator’s wants are important. Predators have and show no remorse and no guilt about inflicting such horrendous pain on any victim. And predators will conjure up any excuse to justify her his disgusting and vile actions and expect others to believe the lie. “Psychopathic personality (n) behavior toward other individuals or toward society in which reality is usually clearly perceived except for an individual's social or moral obligations and which often seek immediate personal gratification in criminal acts, drug addiction or sexual perversion”. (Webster Dictionary)

Sexual predators do not accept social or moral laws; they are corrupt in their thoughts and actions. The excuse ‘I see things differently’ is just that, an excuse to convince their perverse selves she he is right. We all see things differently it is the predator that sees others as a means to their depraved ends.

Predators do carry out attacks in front of other depraved predators. Predators will seek out their own kind, because they will want to boast and brag about their attacks. Behind the kindly façade is a person who deems herself/himself a demigod.

Predators do attack in pairs, groups or they may have a confidant, someone to help her or him plan and keep others away from a victim or give an alibi for the predator. There are others who know the truth, but will not help a victim. Those who fail to help a victim, reinforces what the predator says to the victim; 'that no one cares', others will hurt them and will allow them to be hurt. It also reinforces the fear that adults and authority figures are not to be trusted. There is no empathy in a sexual predator; she/he willingly attacks another, by deception, by violence, by threat, by blackmail, by any means, predators seek to destroy.

Sexual predators are sexual psychopaths. They are not insane. They know right from wrong and they understand the outcome of their actions. Sexual predators have no empathy for the victim. The female sexual predator and the male sexual predator seek complete control of the victim, and the surrounding events. They have the ability to show surface emotions around others only when it benefits them. They disguise themselves well. Sexual predators are always desperate to attempt to portray herself/himself as a good person, show casing their goodness, their politeness, their kindness. They can be viewed as normal and nice. However, Ted Bundy and other serial killers had the same ability. Sexual psychopaths may not kill the victim but she/he comes very close to it physically and spiritually. Evil always slips from the thin veil of the smile.

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Lies – Deceptive Behavior

Predators are generally pathological liars: she/he will say whatever to get the victim and others to do what she/he says. Predators lie about everything in public and to their own family members. The predator has to keep the lie going to keep the façade up and thus enables the predator to continue her/his depraved attacks. The truth is known to the victim(s), but many victims may still be terrorized, which is exactly what the sexual predator planned to happen. (But we know the truth of who and what they really are.)

Body gestures, i.e. self-touching in front of you, licking or biting the lip, etc.

Touching the victim in the genitals as she/he picks something up or groping the victim under a table, etc.

Use of controlling language ("I cornered him/her", I made him/her do", or “you will do …”, "you come back here now."...)

She/he may hold a position of authority (work, family, etc.)

The position may afford her/him to:

Arrange functions or coordinate movements of others, i.e. arrange to pick up another, shuttle to and from;

Arrange work schedule or schedule others to be in a certain place and time;

Arrange projects, (family, work, etc.);

In essence she/he decides or arranges, who goes where or gets to do what;

She/he may have a job or volunteers in social, community or work events, that lends them some social or community status. This also enables continuation of the false persona.

This type of position, job, etc., affords her/him access, information and control of a victim(s) or a potential victim.

Disguise invasive questions

Predators generally ask personal questions, she/he is constantly probing the victim. Predators are master manipulators and therefore it may be difficult for a child and an adult victim to realize how the dialog is proceeding; such as, ‘I have this type of medical problem in my family do you?’ Or, ‘If you fall while on an outing you should let me know what blood type you are.’ This type of questioning may be done under the nice persona or helpful disguise. Most might think nothing of answering little personal questions, but they may be used against us later.

Predators constantly watch and listen. Predators seek any and all opportunity to use whatever knowledge they have gained to control and dominate another. Predators constantly watch to see if a child is being ignored and listen to how a parent is responding to a child. The predator listens or questions to find out where the child may go to play or where an adult might be going to spend some time.

Predators are constant hunters, and she or he will question and listen to others for any opportunity to isolate the unsuspecting victim, i.e.;a potential victim might state in passing, 'I am going here' or “I will travel here.” This may be banal information to you and others but to a predator it is opportunity.

Lurking around or always present

Predators will always seem to have children or a ‘special’ child around them all the time, near or touching the child. Or the predator may always seem to need something from someone in particular or is always trying to engage the person in conversation, she or he may constantly want or need attention from someone in particular, or always near or hanging around their victim. Even in group settings the predator is always near the victim, and the predator may attempt to isolate the victim from the group.

And the predator always has her or his eyes on the victim, following every move of the victim or will try to make strong eye contact. There may seem like there is some kind of plausible excuse for the predator to be around the victim. In family settings, in work settings, class settings, or acquaintances getting together, the predator will always lurk around one adult or one child in particular.

Predators can be detected through any disguise even if the predator seems to be soft-spoken, sweet, smart or sincere, or have a professional demeanor toward others, which is all a façade. Victims know that the predator will turn this nice character off instantaneously.

Predators keep the good person façade up for years, and the predator may still be functioning in this role. However, in today’s climate the good person façade is one that has been shattered, thankfully to those survivors who came forward in regard to the priest predators. I thank them for their courage.

Isolation

Sexual predators will isolate their victim; this allows complete control of the victim. Isolation can occur in family settings, work settings or acquaintance settings, indoor, outdoor, or vehicles. This may be done under the disguise:

Certain types of jobs – those that are alone with another for an extended period of time

Public persona

The above is not an inclusive list, it probably scratches the surface of behavior, but they are used as a weapon upon their victim and society.

Thus the phrase all too often heard by victims, “No one will ever believe you.”

Watch the victim in order to scare - control the victim in front of others (strong eye contact or body gestures)

Predators may often have positions of authority and /or trust in the family, in jobs, in communities, or in committees, groups or organizations.

These positions in families and/or jobs endear them to others; who would ever suspect the evil in a person that can be so caring, giving, trusting or powerful. A façade and a farce played on everyone. Predators are cunning, conniving, evil, depraved, monsters that seek to exploit and destroy. This is meant to be a strong statement, a wake up to those who refuse or deny what is before them. Remember the likes of Hitler, Bundy and other depraved humans had friends that refused to believe that their trusted colleague or loved one would commit such horrendous acts.

Smells

Predators may also use smells. Smells or pheromones are an issue that may be difficult to understand. However, if the approach of understanding is taken from the standpoint that the five senses, touch, sight, smell, taste, and sound were all under attack during the abuse, this issue might come into focus.

Humans have smells, pheromones or musk orders and these pheromones change with different moods and reactions to things or people, which can cause others to change or react in kind. Those who are sexually aggressive seem to have a heightened sense and reaction to other’s body smell / pheromones, while others may chemically react to it but not act on them. They seem to be able to hone in on a person and will invade their space. (We would hide they would find us) This can be very frightening to the survivor and it may also heighten the sense of the predator. Unfortunately for some survivors they may also possess the ability to smell or detect another person's reaction to them, which is terrifying for them. Some survivors walk around in a constant state of fear as a child and as an adult. This is an area not discussed but is an issue to some survivors. It can be likened to the ability of an animal to pick up the scent of fear/anxiety on a human, which can cause the animal to react aggressively; it is no different than a human predator sensing fear in a victim. Predators are constant hunters and a scent of fear to her/him may be similar to chum in an ocean, (shark frenzy).

Rejection or rebuffed sexual aggression

Sexual predators cannot stand to be rejected. Some predators will insist that there are similarities between her/him and the victim. Predators demand that the victim wants them and will conjure up the excuse of mixed signals and so much in common to confirm her/his depraved thoughts or even announce the victim led her/him on. Predators may even insist that the victim loves her/him, "I know you love me." / "You know you love me." / "You can't tell me you don't feel anything for me.". All control statements, it is what the predator wants to hear and believe.

And responding with NO only seems to enrage her or him. Predators do not like for others to deny them what they want, and what they want is to rape, control, force, abuse, isolate, torture, terrorize and all unthinkable horrors to a victim. Predators are evil in the body and mind.

Predators that are rebuffed physically or verbally can and do become violent and threatening toward the victim. Some predators will become extremely sexually aggressive toward the victim, in public or private after she/he is rejected. Some predators may attempt to cause a public scene when she/he is rejected. (This is done for control.) Some predators will use or threaten to use false accusations to retaliate against the victim and to get the victim to submit. Or a predator may threaten to slander a victim or tell family members and friends awful lies. Threats isolate, scare and control a victim(s).

Predators know to hurt, terrify, confuse, scare and make the victim angry. Which may cause some victims to dissociate, drop out of reality or disengage from reality, which in turn makes it easier for the predator to manipulate the victim. This may be especially true if the victim has been victimized as a child or in the past. (See Re-victimization) Predators know very well what she/he is doing to the victim and will not only use her/his physical strength to abuse but will use the victim’s emotional state as a weapon.

Terrorize

Predators are terrorist. Predators delight in terror, they laugh at the pain she/he cause others. Predators deploy any unimaginable disgusting attacks to terrorize a victim. Definitions of “TERROR – (n) intense sharp overmastering fear – Panic, fright all imply extreme fear in the presence of danger or evil.– Terrorize – (v.t.) to fill or overcome with terror. – Terrorist – (n) a person who uses or favors terrorizing methods”. (Webster Dictionary)Terror, terrorism = power.

Sexual abuse is sexual trauma. Predators use emotional deceit, sexual abuse, physical abuse, physical weapon, torture, blackmail, threats, fear, isolation, shame, anger and etc, to terrify, dominate and control the victim. Terror is the depraved weapon of a predator. Terror is known worldwide. As stated before throughout history entire populations have been controlled by terror. What is a defenseless isolated child or adult to do when faced with terror?

Sexual predators may often keep something of the victim,- a photo, video, or any material item. This is their (female sexual - male sexual predator) control over the victim, their sick reminder and possibly to use as blackmail to silence the victim.

Predators exist because she/he chose to be what they are and chose to inflict pain on others. Predators are spineless pieces of filth. It is never a victim’s choice to be attacked by a predator. Predators are one of the most hideous, vile, evil and disgusting things to crawl the Earth. Predators do not care how much pain it causes anyone. Predators do not care if she/he infects the victim with STD or even AIDS. Predators do not care what physical or emotional scars she/he leaves on a victim. Predators use any depraved means to obtain a victim.

The above are some behaviors and not all predators will fit one type of behavior.

*Although this page contains some gruesome statements about sexual predators, it is important to remember that not all people who are caring and serve others are predators in hiding. There are good decent humans in the world. I do not want to take away from those who are truly kind and loving. For without them our world would surely be a bleak place.

Contents	Introduction	Perspective	Blame	Therapy
Books	Internet Resources	Issues	Types of Predators	Types of Predator Behavior
Ways to Respond and Warning Signs (for Adults and Parents)	My Path	Poem	Disclaimer	State List of Statutes

Types of Sexual Predator Behavior

Planning

Control

Sexual psychopaths

Lies – Deceptive Behavior

Disguise invasive questions

Lurking around or always present

Isolation

Public persona

Smells

Rejection or rebuffed sexual aggression

Terrorize