WELCOME TO WEISSWORLD!!!!

"You have no idea who you are dealing with."--threat given to Weissworld

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned by Creating My Own Personal Geocities Website

1.  No matter how scary the situation may get or how many threats you may receive, satire is not considered libel.

2.  If you want to get a lot of media attention, satirize someone you once knew who is now marrying one of the richest celebrities, and you know it is obviously for their money.  Follow the Geocities Guide to "promoting your site."  Believe it or not, it actually works!

3.  Saturday Night Live is struggling so hard for decent material that they steal punchlines off of personal Geocities websites.  Be sure to copyright your work. 

4.  Despite being one of the most popular TV stars of our century, Jerry Seinfeld does not have a sense of humor.

5.  Therapists are as smart if not smarter than publicists.

6.  No matter how much you may offend someone, they are not allowed to threaten your source of income and your job.  This is considered illegal.

7.  Of all the tabloid television shows, Extra has the best reputation.  Hello will pay you the most money for your story.

8.  Don't assume that all of your friends are complete nerds.  Some of them have connections with gossip columnists.

9.  Gossip columnists do not check facts.

10.  People that you may think have the world as their oyster, can still be upset by the words of complete nobodies.  Money does not buy complete self-confidence, but can make any face handsome.

11.  Your mother will not die of embarrassment to see your name in the National Enquirer.  She'll actually laugh and buy ten copies for her scrapbook. 

12.   Aggravation is the best crash diet.