relationships

      Relationships

   This chapter gives information for men and women about typical expectations in U.S. men and women.

   It is sometimes funny, but often it is serious.

The most important points for men: In the USA, many women want to give you their opinions. Listen to them. Be sensitive. If you are "macho," you will lose the woman's attention and she will want to leave the room (usually).

   There's a difference between being strong and being a "big cheese" or acting like your are an important person. The first one is quiet and ready to protect the woman. The second is "ego" and it is centered on yourself, the guy, the macho man. Be quiet and be ready to defend her against any problem that SHE identifies. Don't try to protect her unless she asks for your help.

   If you are in doubt, then don't do it. Date rape happens when the guy doesn't listen to "no" or "I want to stop."

The most important point for women: In the USA, it is okay for a woman to express her opinion. If you don't, then some men think that you agree with everything that they say. If the man says, "Let's go to my apartment for coffee," then you need to give a limit. "Okay, but I must be home in an hour because I have an early start tomorrow."

   Be honest, say what is in your mind. Don't be shy. This is how you will avoid a problem like "date rape."

   "She didn't say no until the last minute, so I didn't think she would mind if I kissed her."

   In other words, it's okay to say "no" and it's okay to push him away from you.