| E S L English for Successful Living The book is written by students at Nova and TALK schools of English. |
| There are many students who are helping with the questions and the information in the book. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, you can write to these students (who contributed the jokes) aabu_khalid@hotmail.com danibabe81@hotmail.com ahiguera56@hotmail.com |
| JOKES Welcome Send your jokes to englishlesson@mail.com RETURN TO the Table of Contents 1. Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway company. Lady: Don't try to be funny, I mean to ask if I can take this train to KualaLumpur. Station Master: No madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. 2. Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and No. 3. First Guy (proudly): "My wife is an angel." Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive" 4. The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?" "Sure", replied her lover. "What's your phone number?". 5. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, my love is an undying love. 6. 1st thief: "Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window". 2nd thief: "But this is the 13th floor!" 1st thief: "Hurry! this is no time for superstitions". 7. Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A BULL and a COW is grazing in the field" Student: "A COW and a BULL is grazing in the field" Teacher: Why? Student: Ladies first. 8. The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are grown up and say: There's Emily; she's a lawyer, or 'That's David, he's a Doctor" A small voice at the back of the room rang out "And there's the Teacher,and.......She's Dead." |
| BONUS CHAPTERS about LOVE and Relationships This section is very honest and it has words that are not useful for children under 16 years of age. |
| Life's Instructions 1) Money is not everything.... There's Mastercard & Visa. 2) One should love animals.... They are so tasty. 3) Love everybody.... Love every BODY. 4) Save water... Shower with your girlfriend. 5) Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught 6) Behind every successful man, there is a woman. But behind every unsuccessful man, there are 2. 7) Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 8) A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife spends. A Successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9) Wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise. 10) Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. maybe i'm right and maybe i'm wrong |
| You can write to the student who contributed these jokes aabu_khalid@hotmail.com |